US Trade Deficit Solution

As I mentioned I'm going back to the USA. It is my homeland.

I care about apple pie especially since no one can make it like my mother.

I also believe in life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness, which is why I live in Thailand.

The life is good under the mango tree in my front yard. I'm free to say whatever I want, because no one understands what I say. And I can pursue happiness without anyone saying, "No."

With the exception of my wife.

I'm going back to see family and friends. It's been two years. My visit is already being called 'the return of the prodigal son, uncle, friend, or reprobate'.

My people know me well. Another reason I'm returning is to find some work. Nothing to serious. A quick score which will both help America and finance my pursuit of more happiness in SE Asia.

It has come to my attention that the USA has piled up a tremendous trade deficit with China. Billions and billions. And the Chinese don't want to buy anything from us. the situation reminds me of the British before the Opium Wars. The Celestial Kingdom had no use for anything from Manchester or London, while the teabags couldn't live without a 'cuppa'. Some bright Limey tai-pans decided to deal opium to the Chinese. Its popularity was instantaneous. End of trade problems and China was thrown into the gutter.

I have shaken hands with GW Bush's father and intend of meeting the president this next month. I saw how he grabbed the Chinese Prime Minster on his last visit. He wanted to talk trade. The Commie wanted to hear nothing about buying baseball bats, since they are made in China.

My proposal will call for the legalization of cocaine everywhere in the world but white suburbs. That way we can declare the 'war on drugs' won and start dealing blow to the Chinese.

Should only take a year before the trade balance is back to zero.

I know it's a radical idea, but if i get the contract, then I'm franchising Carlos Blow Emporiums.

1-800-blowjob

If MacDonalds can sell crap, I don't see why I can't deal zoot.

Long live Tony Montana.