Belmont Stakes Fix

Back when I was a younger man, I bet on the horses with a friend from CBGBs. Bill hung out at Aquaduct. My girlfriend said he was Oscar from THE ODD COUPLE. There was a resemblance, if Felix lend his roommate a leather jacket. I tended to bet horses with Ring attached to their name. Bill was more scientific. He could read the racing charts. This skill didn't make him a rich man, although we once bet $100 each on Johnny D at the Washington International. Stevie Cauthen was the jockey. It paid 25-1.

Most horse junkies talk about their wins. Losses are relegated to closing time at a bar. One time Bill buzzed my door at noon. My girlfriend said to tell him to go away. Bill wouldn't, so I went down stairs to meet him on the stoep. He was out of breath, which wasn't difficult, since Bill was overweight by at least 50 pounds. Smoking cigarettes didn't help his respiratory system either.

"There's a horse running today. Ring of Rings. I spoke to a trainer at the track. He said the fix was in. It's a sure thing. No one knows too."

"There's no such thing as a sure thing."

"All the other jockeys have been payed off and the vet is giving Ring of Ring a shot."

"Of what?"

"Cocaine."

Ring of Ring. Fix. Cocaine. I had $50. We went up to the OTB on 14th Street. It was raining like the last day before Noah's Ark went seaborne. Inside the betting parlor the odds were dropping on Ring of Ring. 21-1 to 15-1 to 12-1 in a matter of minutes.

"Looks like this sure thing isn't a secret anymore."

"Someone had a big mouth."

That was true, but we bet with the hoi polloi.

Track condition were wet. Odds were down to 9-1. Everyone in the OTB was praying for the horses to go before the odds melted to nothing. It was post time.

"And they're off."

The crowd roared as Ring of Rings took the lead into the first corner and then disaster struck. Ring of Ring slipped in the mud. The horse went down on its side. The jockeys in the race reined in their horses as if they were waiting for Ring of Ring to rise from the slop. She just laid there and the gamblers at the OTB groaned with realization that there is no sure thing.

Same goes for Big Brown in the 2008 Belmont.

She didn't even finish despite the trainer promising a Triple Crown winner.

When asked about pulling up rounding the last turn, the jockey admitted, "I didn't have a horse.

My friend JD bet $1000 at AC.

I didn't wager a penny.

But the winner paid 38-1.

The only sure thing is a sure thing for the smart people and we know who they are. The guys with the smiles,m but they're always smiling when they win.