Friday, May 15, 2009

Petrograd Rules of Conduct


Three days ago I was walking through the Peter and Paul fortress along the River Neva. This Czarist bastion is demilitarized these days, however it still exists as a land of rules and regulations judging from the sign above.

Most of these tourist hieroglyphics are decipherable.

Some make no sense and Merrill Aldighieri suggested a different slant.

1. say "heil hitler"
2. pee on a parking meter
3. shoot a rocking horse in the head
4. jump off the bell tower
5. french kiss a goose
6. go topless if you have a beer belly
7. fart while riding a ski lift
8. go fishing in a garbage pail
9. set a turtle on fire
10 go drinking with a lampost
11 cycle while holding a loaded gun
12 lean on a tree too weak to hold you

She has a good sense of humor.

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