Penile Resurrection

In ancient times victories armies would castrate their vanquished foes to emphasize their superiority. Penile amputation is a rarity in most of the modern world. John Bobbit was the last American male to suffer this catastrophic injury at the hands of his avenging wife, however Thai wives constantly threaten their husbands and boyfriends with 'dtart ham' and over 40 cases have been recorded over the last ten years in the Land of Smiles to reinforce the danger to philandering males in love with their mia nois or second wives.

Thai medical specialists have perfected the micro-surgery necessary to re-attach the severed member and Thai women thwart this rescue attempt by burying the detached penis in the sand or feeding it to ducks.

Pigs for some unknown reason won't eat penis.

I've not heard of any farang males suffering a pectomy. Not that they are more faithful than Thai men. All men are the same. Dogs, so it's a matter of time before an irate Thai woman decockifies a western man.

In case of penis amputation doctors suggest the following steps to assure a successful re-attachment.

1) Don't panic.
2) Find a piece of cloth, clean the cloth first and then press it hard on the wound to stop the blood.
3) Try to retrieve your severed member from wherever your angry partner had discarded it.
4) Wash it in clean water just like you wash chicken liver at the basin and keep it in a plastic bag - it can be kept this way for up to six hours.
5) If possible, keep the plastic bag in a container of iced water. This way it keeps for 24 hours.
6) Get to a hospital. FAST and DO NOT LAUGH.

Lastly if you must have your peccadilloes, put away all sharp items in the house before going to sleep and keep a weather eye open for any storm.

Hell hath no fury like a Thai woman who has lost face.

Believe me I know and only have my member because my feet are faster than a woman's hands.