Controversy Ends As Lin Ping Is Named National Police Chief

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BANGKOK - The political schism that threatened to unravel the Democrat-led coalition came to a happy ending today when Prime Minister Abhisit Vejjajiva announced that Lin Ping, the adorable 12-week-old panda cub who has captured the nation’s hearts, would be the next head of the national police.

“I am pleased to announce Lin Ping as a consensus candidate,” said Abhisit at a news conference this morning. “We all look forward to the fresh perspectives and positive attitude that Lin Ping will bring to the police department.”

The announcement ends speculation that Abhisit’s secretary-general Niphon Prompong, who supported Pol General Jumpol Manmai for the post even after Abhisit had already nominated Pol General Patheep Tanprasert, would resign. Niphon himself appeared at the press conference to confirm his unqualified support for the panda.

“Since his auspicious birth three months ago, Lin Ping has shown an unmatched ability to unify Thais during these troubled times,” he said. “I am confident that he will bring some much-needed credibility to the department.”

The appointment, effective immediately, also puts to rest speculation about former Bangkok governor Apirak Kosayodhin and Bangkok MP Ong-art Klampaiboon taking Niphon’s place in the PM’s office. Political analysts see the move as a shrewd move on Abhisit’s part.

“Lin Ping consistently polls higher in approval ratings than any politician in Thailand ,” said Thammasat political science professor Prapat Thepchatree. “The only surprise is that the panda didn’t hold out for a higher political office.”

Reaction was universally positive. Newly appointed National Intelligence Agency director Suwaphan Tanyuwattana promised to work hard with Lin Ping to root out corruption, while Phue Thai leader Yongyut Wichaidit said he was pleased that the appointment went to someone with a clean background.

“Thailand needs a change from its old-guard politics,” he said, “and the appointment of a 12-week old mute furry mammal as the head of law enforcement is just the kind of social reform that our progressive party stands for.”

Lin Ping declined to answer questions from reporters, but drew thunderous applause when he demonstrated his recently acquired ability to walk.