The Drunkest Drunk Ever

I've been drinking since the age of 12. My behavior on alcohol has often overstepped the boundary of good behavior and challenged my instinct for survival. I shot a spear gun at two boys attacking my brother in the dunes of Horseneck Beach, drove my car through every red light on Commonwealth Avenue, and puked on a girl in Central Park after a Ron Rico rum party at Fiorucci. My drunkest moment was at the opening party for Galleries Lafayette on 5th Avenue. Cheap champagne coupled with a joint cut my legs from under me and I crashed onto a glass table. My exit was a series of lurching bounces into the walls of the shopping emporium and outside on the sidewalk I searched from a rope to save me from falling into the gutter only to dive into the open door of a waiting taxi. I rewarded the driver by upchucking in the back seat.

The nuns warned their pupils that at the end of time all the people who ever existed will watch your life.

Hopefully I have the remote control to fast through these and other shameful episodes, however I'm strictly an amateur in comparison to the drunk visiting a convenience store in the following YouTube offering.

Go to the following URL

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5e4caLZUrFw&feature=related

I've never been that fucked up.

At least not that I can recall