John Water's 25 Days of Xmas

Day 1... Get naked and smoke.
Day 2... Ask a neighbor if they find it funny that every man in the neighborhood has a penis.
Day 3... Flash someone.
Day 4... Get your hair done.
Day 5....Go to a porn theater (or rent a porno movie)
Day 6... Whenever you hear someone say "shit" tell them you hate the brown word.
Day 7... Exclaim "What a day for an execution!" to strangers.
Day 8... Stomp on someones foot - laugh maniacally.
Day 9... Play "car accident." (Be sure to have plenty of ketchup on hand.)
Day 10... Get a baby sitting job - throw wild destructive party. Trash everything.
Day 11... Admit to God that you are a whore.
Day 12... Tell your nephew (or other younger male relative) you'd be so happy if he turned nelly and found a nice beautician boyfriend.
Day 13... Seduce a bus driver.
Day 14... Refer to your daughter (or young female relative) as "that little MF"
Day 15... Write "I sniff jury underpants" (or other obscenity) in a bathroom stall.
Day 16... Have sloppy joes for dinner.
Day 17... Go to doctor and demand "a wang."
Day 18... At the dinner table exclaim loudly "I'm so hungry I could eat cancer."
Day 19... Tell someone that you're a thief, a shit kicker and that you'd like to be famous.
Day 20... Condone first degree murder. Advocate cannibalism.
Day 21... Have sex with a midget in the back of a car.
Day 22... Be celibate for celluloid.
Day 23... Watch "Christmas Evil" with JW commentary.
Day 24... Send someone a bowel movement.
Bonus day - Return all your Christmas gifts for money because-"you can do that you know."