Farewell Siam

My flight to New York via Tokyo departed from Suvarnabhumi Airport at 8:10 in this morning. Mam woke me at 3:30am. We kissed for several seconds before she pushed away my body.

"Go take shower." Thais like clean. Body odors and dirty clothes are the sign of bad manners. It's a wonder that they tolerate 'farangs' who have forgotten 'cleanliness comes close to godliness'. I showered hoping Mam would join me. She has a talent for soaping my back, a bodily territory out of my reach. Instead my son Fenway had woken up from his slumber.

"Tell Fenway you go away. Come back too."

Fenway was almost 2. A smart 2. I explained in Thai and English that I was leaving for New York. "I have to make us money."

There was no money in Thailand. The chaos in Bangkok had shut down business for Thais and farangs. I had come out to work for two weeks. Nothing, not with the army shooting red shirts in the street and Thaksin waiting for the government to fall. Unemployed I did what came easy to the Thais. Drink beer and eat food. Soi 12 in Jomtien Beach was good for both those purposes. Only now the money was gone.

"I'll come back soon." I whispered to Fenway. He is my superstar. His hug was precious to my old black heart. "Promise."

"You promise many things." Mam loved me, but didn't trust me. No woman ever truly trust a man with a previous wife. I've tried to tell her that I wish I knew no women other than her, but at 58 I've known more than a few. Mam doesn't care about them. I have a daughter up north. Her mother left me four years ago. Mam first loved me because I was so sad. She was sad too. Mam is still sad. I stood up from the bed and pulled Mam to her feet. She only weighs 49 kilos.

"You are the only woman in my life."

"Ko-hok." She called me a liar without blinking her eyes.

"One day I'll show you."

"That one day never come." She had been waiting a long time already for that day, but for this early morning she was willing to let me leave without making a scene. The taxi was waiting downstairs. "We go. You take bags. I take Fenway."

We walked down the five flights of steps to the ground floor. The Full Moon Bar was closed. Even the drunk Viking had enough beer for the night. The taxi driver loaded my bag into the trunk. I embraced Fenway and Mam for the last time. It was time to let go.

"I'll be back soon." We spent too much of each year apart.

"And I can believe you?" She wanted to believe our life would be together.

"No one is a good liar when they are telling the truth." I kissed her on the lips and got in the taxi. The driver looked over his shoulder, "Pai nai?"

"New York."

"Chok-dee."

And I'll be needing all my good luck for the upcoming months. Summertime in the city. economic crisis. Oil spill in the Gulf. The GOP threatening to take over the Congress. I waved to the two people I love most in the world. "Bye bye Siam. Hello New York."