The Footsteps of the End

Jesse Ventura, ex-pro wrestler/Governor of Minnesota, abandoned America for a secluded beach on the Baja California. He spends his days with his wife and the waves of the Pacific. "There are no newspapers down where I live. Where I live, I'm an hour from pavement and an hour from electricity. I'm completely off the grid."

President Barack Obama might have wished for a similar change of address after the GOP landslide in the November elections. Tea Party victors are calling for a radical return to America of yesteryear. Small government, isolation, the return of Jim Crow, bigger SUVs, the right to carry arms in kindergarten, cold war with the Russians, queers back in the closet, and a pledge to make the rich richer. Their congressional compatriots are vowing to join the fight to roll back Health Care reform and cut the budget deficit by taxing food and water. No one has mentioned withdrawal from Iraq or Afghanistan to alleviate the money drain.

My friend, the ex-model from Paris, has sent an email of warning. Her born-again radio station has predicted that hyper-inflation will send the prices of wheat bread to $23 and a package of sugar to $62. The concession prices in Yankee Stadium have already reached that level. She says that the End is near and I should prepare to flee the States for Thailand ASAP.

"Don't leave it too late."

Maybe I've already missed the last plane. President Obama had fled into momentary exile in Far East Asia. His domestic opponents have criticized the grandeur of this trade mission as wasteful opulence. Dancing with children, while Americans are told not to drink soda. The Tea Party guard at the diamond exchange complained that the cost of the president's tour was about $200,000,000 a day."

About 60 cents from each American and we know that 60 cents doesn't buy anything in the USA. Not even a hot dog. So Obama has skipped the country for good.

"He's going back to be a Muslim imam in Indonesia." Andy shouted with one hand cupped to his mouth. He heard this from Fox News. Everything they say is his truth. "Then he's going to organize Al-Quada to attack America."

"You're fucking crazy." I shook my head, because many of his friends feel the same way. They are many, but thankfully most of them are post-middle aged and fat. Their mouths are the only part of their anatomy capable of a fight. One boot to their guts and these 'patriots' will be on their knees sucking wind. Maybe not Andy. He's still in good shape for a man his age. It hasn't come to that yet, but it will one day. Having worked nightclubs, I can tell when a bully is itching for a fight.

And that day I'll get on a plane for Thailand and join Jesse Ventura and Barack Obama in exile.

Adios motherfuckers