I was brought up a Catholic in the 60s. The nuns of Our Lady of the Foothills taught their young charges that the Pope was infallible ie incapable of mistakes. My friends and I used to conjecture that God’s rep on earth didn’t fart, need an eraser, or pick his nose. The parish priests heard about this talk and condemned us as heretics.
“God speaks through the Pope.” The pastor’s words rang harsh in the Sunday sermon.
Several years ago the Almighty chose to enlighten the world with a new set of 10 Commandments. This time governing the rules of the road, as the Vatican finally reacted to the automobile replacing the horse. His Most Esteemed Cardinals have issued an edict addressing the morality of driving, since the Pope rides in the Popemobile as a passenger.
A 36-pages of ”The Holy Guidelines for the Pastoral Care of the Road” covers road rage, respecting pedestrians, keeping a car in good shape and avoiding rude gestures.
sacred bird signs from behind the wheel?
“Cars tend to bring out the ‘primitive’ side of human beings, thereby producing rather unpleasant results even as far as the occasion of carnal sin,” stated Cardinal Renato Martino at a Rome press conference. “People should pray while driving. Bless yourself before starting the car and say the rosary while driving. Think of your car as a mini-church.”
Most Ferrari drivers would agree with this sentiment.
The Vatican claims moral authority on this issue since the speed limit within its walls is only 30 KPH and the last accident occurred almost two years ago.
Italian media ridiculed the announcement, which was not signed by Pope Benedict.
“Is Overtaking is a sin? Well, then I’m a murderer, I’ll turn myself in immediately,” quipped movie director Dino Risi, whose classic film “The Easy Life” — “Il Sorpasso,” or “The Overtaking” — ends with a car crash.
I took a quick look at the Commandments. I seemed to be okay.
1. You shall not kill.
(haven’t had an accident in years other than running over the food of a lottery ticket salesperson. Gave her 1000 baht and drove her to a clinic.)
2. The road shall be for you a means of communion between people and not of mortal harm.
(My father said a car was not a toy. He drives his new Mercedes as if it were a Tonka truck. Old age breeds new youth.)
3. Courtesy, uprightness and prudence will help you deal with unforeseen events.
(I give the right of way to children and women. I cut off SUVs, because they are an offense to the guardian angels of the planet.)
4. Be charitable and help your neighbor in need, especially victims of accidents.
(If someone breaks down, som nom nah. Should have fixed the car before you left home.)
5. Cars shall not be for you an expression of power and domination, and an occasion of sin.
(I ride a bicycle. I have no car. I have no pretensions of power other than driving a rented car at 160KPH and I have never thought about having sex in my car other than with James Dean. Getting head while losing his.)
6. Charitably convince the young and not so young not to drive when they are not in a fitting condition to do so.
(I don’t know any younger people. only younger idiots than me.)
7. Support the families of accident victims.
(Most of the girls working in pattaya have had their husbands or boyfriends die in motorcycle accidents. Amazing stat if true.)
8. Bring guilty motorists and their victims together, at the appropriate time, so that they can undergo the liberating experience of forgiveness.
(Best time for that is right on the road so they can express their feelings without any reservations. remember no guns, please.)
9. On the road, protect the more vulnerable party.
(Slower cars out of the way.)
10. Feel responsible toward others.
(Okay I’ll not run the red lights on Sukhumvit.)
So I’m not so much of a sinner, since I’ve been to hell on the roads of Bangkok, New York, and Boston.
Once more mea culpa.
To crash is human, to avoid an accident divine.
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