And They're Off

Milt Romney, Michelle Bachman, Rick Perry, Newt Gingrich, Jon Huntsman, Tim Pawlenty, Ron Paul, Rick Santorum, and Herb Cain flocked to America's Heartland to compete in the Ames Straw Poll. Iowa has hosted the GOP event since 1979 and the winner has received the party's presidential nomination 3 out of 5 times. The Hawkeye State boasts a strong Christian population with 92.9% of its people listed as Caucasians. Only Vermont, Maine, New Hampshire, and West Virginia score higher for the white race, however Iowans are much more progressive than the holy rollers of the Bible Belt and Republicans relish the challenge of these straight-minded people.

Milt Romney won the 2007 decision and dedicated time and money to woo the voters, who really have little else to do on an August weekend than freak out White House hopefuls. The participants can belong to any political party as long as they're are need to be at least 16 1/2 years old, an Iowa resident or college student, and have paid $30 to cast their vote.

$30 buys 15 beers at the Deadwood Tavern in Ames.

It's the college town's # 1 dive.

I doubt if many of its regulars made it to the polls, but once the voting was closed the news media announced the surprise victory of Minnesota congresswoman Michelle Bachman over the nine males in the field. She's definitely more attractive than the previous Tea Party sweetie Sarah Palin and I can help thinking that she's somehow related to 70s movie siren Barbara Bach as well as Randy Bachman of Bachman-Turner Overdrive. The foster mother of 23 children actually is a native of Iowa and no one will ever accuse her of not being born in America.

Ron Paul came in a strong second, but some of the boys will have to ask themselves about their chances against the harridan of the right, especially Newt Gringrich. It takes a big man to recognize his time has come and gone, but it's early in the race and nothing yet has been written in the sand.

Full Results

U.S. Rep. Michele Bachmann (R-Minn.): 4,823 votes
U.S. Rep. Ron Paul (R-Texas): 4,671 votes
Former Minnesota governor Tim Pawlenty: 2,293 votes
Former U.S. Senator Rick Santorum (R-Pa.): 1,657 votes
Former Godfather's Pizza CEO Herman Cain: 1,456 votes
Texas Governor Rick Perry: 718 votes
Former Massachusetts governor Mitt Romney: 567 votes
Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich: 385 votes
Former Utah governor Jon Huntsman: 69 votes

Iowa caucuses will see some of these faces and surely others.

All preaching god and small government.

It's what the people want.

At least their people.