Dog Yum Yum

The islands of Ternate and Tidore had been the destination of European explorers seeking to circumvent the Ottoman Empire’s spice trade monopoly . Only one ship from Magellan's fleet returned from their historic voyage around the world and the spices purchased on these islands paid off the cost of the trip and enriched the investors beyond their dream.

In 1991 I flew from Ambon, the Spice Island's administrative capitol, to Ternate. I was the only westerner on the airplane. George Bush had ordered troops to the frontier of Kuwait to confront Saddam’s invasion of that oil-rich country. Indonesia is 95% Muslim. Ternate was 100%. The hotel manager asked if I were American.

"No, I'm Irish." I dropped the green passport on the counter. I had received citizenship thanks to my Nana from County Mayo.

"Maybe tidak apa-apa."

He gave me a room next to the front desk.

"I want a room with a view.” The volcanic island of Tidore lay across the bay. Its slope were covered with cloves. Their fragrance mingled with the Kretek cigarette smoke. on the tropical night air.

"Room with view apa-apa banyak."

Apa-apa means trouble. Banyak much trouble. He feared something worst than mosquitoes.

"You only Mistah here."

"Any Israelis?" A bunch of discharged IDF soldiers had occupied the Dutch hotel on Biak. The Indonesians thought they were dirty. I didn’t disagree. They smelled even worse. Indonesians disliked them almost as much as haughty Italians.

"No Israeli, you only “mistah."

The Dutch overlords had insisted on the Indonesians calling all white men ‘mistah’.

“Then no apa-apa. Like I said I am Irish.

The tropical evening fell like a black cloak on the streets lit by 40-watt bulbs. I walked to the harbor for dinner. The eyes in the doorways were sullen. The TV screen were filled by the 'Shock and Awe's destruction of Baghdad. The war had started in Iraq. Mullahs at the Mosques called out for evening prayers. The faithful kneeled in the direction of Mecca, but not all.

Some followed me. The quay was illuminated by the bright lights of restaurants. I stood before an offering of foods. None of them were familiar. One smelled good and everyone else in the restaurant was eating it. I ordered one plate with rice. More men stood glaring at me. I ate quickly, but the dish was so good I ordered another to show I wasn't scared of the gathering crowd.

Each man had a clove cigarette dangling from their lips, I came from the South Shore of Boston. We never ran, unless we could and retreat was became impossible as the 20 became 30 and the 30 grew to 50. It was time to order the bill. The older waitress placed the bill on the table. I read two orders of Danjing.

"Danjing?" I knew this word in Bahasa Indonesian.

"Yes, danjing?"

"Dog?"

"Yes, dog," she said it loud enough for the mob to hear and they laughed realizing I had unwittingly dined on dog. I smiled as the butt of joke should and said, “Irish eat dog.”

"George Bush eat dog." A voice in the crowd shouted and the men laughed without humor. I agreed with the mob. George Bush had trained the Guatemalan and El Salvador troops in counter-insurgency. Hundreds of thousands of Mayan peasants had died in his pogroms.

"Walk, don’t run," I told myself. Two cops were across the road. They turned their heads. I bought a loose cigarette from a tobacco shop and smoked the kretek butt, as the mob tramped several feet behind me. Upon reaching the hotel the manager asked, "Tidak apa-apa."

“No problem.” I grabbed my room key and barricaded the doors, as the crowd chanted, "George Bush eat dog."

The police ordered the crowd to go home, I listened to the BBC on my world-band radio. The battle of all battles was a blow-out. Iraq’s tanks burned in the desert, but my safe escape was seriously in doubt, since I figured the odds were 5000-1. Worse than Custer, yet no one smashed down the door and in the morning when I ventured from the hotel, the faces on the street were smiling.

Several men gave me the thumbs up.

"Rambo #1. You # 1. You eat dog."

And like that they switched sides, because everyone loves a winner and I liked dog enough to eat it twice.