Bumps.com

Colorado legalized marijuana and the weed industry has blossomed in the Rockies much to the chagrin of other square states such as Nebraska and Kansas, whose police have had to deal with an influx of reefer flooding into the Bible Belt. The DEA and State anti-drug forces are acting like Japanese soldiers in World War II who refused to believe that the USA had defeat the Land of the Rising Sun, but we potheads beat the pigs, despite the Law sending millions of 4:20 adherents to jail and prison.

This weekend the NYPD refused to police the City after a madman murdered two cops having lunch in Queens. The Boys in Blue blamed the new mayor for inciting the Baltimore killer with his accusation of police brutality and the rank and file obeyed their strike-breaking union leader by turning their backs on DeBlasio during the funeral of one of the fallen officers.

The NYPD also decided to stage a work slowdown and arrests dropped by 62%.

There was no crime wave.

Just freedom from police oppression and on New Year's Eve I tried to open a cocaine dispensary in Times Square.

Very little capital lay-out.

A sign stating 'Cocaine $25'.

I had no blow on me, but the PD spotted my sign and confronted me with accusations of drug dealing.

They searched me from head to toe.

"I don't have nothing on me, but I heard you weren't arresting anyone, so I thought I'd test the waters for the future of selling cocaine via bumps.com."

"Take a walk." A white-shirted captain wasn't amused by my antics.

"I was going to give you a cut."

"Better than you get from the rich." I hated the cops for ripping off the people for parking tickets, traffic summons, sidewalk stops as nauseum for a city surviving on pirate revenue rather than taxing the rich. "Plus Tony Montana won the War of Drugs. Not the DEA. You losers."

I shouted this from a safe distance. I had no intentions of spending New Year's Eve in jail.

Not even for Tony Montana.