Wednesday, February 24, 2016

iPhone love

The other night I went to dinner at John's Italian restaurant in the East Village. The establishment has been serving hearty southern dishes since 2008. The menu was a time machine to my youth and I ordered the meatball and spaghetti. My dinner companion had the tomato raviolis. We ordered Chiantis and converse about friends, until she said, "Look over there."

"Where?" It was a Monday night. There were only three tables.

"The young couple sitting against the wall," whispered Susan. We were just friends, but she's thirty years my junior. I'm older than most people these days, so I'm accustomed to age decrepancies .

I turned my head to a young attractive couple.

The man was glued to his iPhone.

He had a beer.

She had nothing to drink.

"He's been on the phone for ten minutes," Susan hunched over to me.

"And he hasn't said anything to her?"

"Not a word."

"And he hasn't ordered her a drink."

"Schmuck."

"He's probably googling how to speak with women on your first date."

"Sad but true."

We returned to our dinner and talk. The waiter came by and I waved him over.

"Ask that girl if she wants something to drink, because the jerk on the iPhone won't."

"I'd love to, but we have a bet to see how how it will be before he gets off the phone. I went for the long shot and said twenty minutes."

"You're looking good," commented Susan.

"Can I offer you a glass of wine on the house?"

"Thanks."

We looked over the dessert menu and at the twenty-first minute the girl got the waiter's attention to order a Sprite.

"Sprite?" I would have order the most expensive wine.

"Yes, she's saying there's no way he getting a second date."

The man reacted to the intrusion and showed the woman his iPhone. He thought something was funny.

"Jerk off," Susan and I said it at the same time, happy with our wine.

It does make a mundane world nicer.

As does John's of 12th Street 302 East 12th Street, NYC 10003 (212) 475-9531

I recommend it highly.

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