When is Old Old?

Questions and Answers from an AARP Forum

Q: Where can men over the age of 50 find younger, sexy women who are interested in them?

A: Try a bookstore under fiction.

Q: What can a man do while his wife is going through menopause?

A: Keep busy. If you're handy with tools, you can finish the basement. When you are done you will have a place to live.

Q: Someone has told me that menopause is mentioned in the Bible. Is that true? Where can it be found?

A: Yes. Matthew 14:92: 'And Mary rode Joseph's ass all the way to Egypt ...'

Q: How can you increase the heart rate of your 50+ year old husband?

A: Tell him you're pregnant.

Q: How can you avoid that terrible curse of the elderly wrinkles?

A: Take off your glasses..

Q: Seriously! What can I do for these crow's feet and all those wrinkles on my face?

A: Go braless... It will usually pull them out.

Q: Why should 50+ year old people use valet parking?

A: Valets don't forget where they park your car.

Q: Is it common for 50+ year olds to have problems with short term memory storage?

A: Storing memory is not a problem, retrieving it is a problem.

Q: As people age, do they sleep more soundly?

A: Yes, but usually in the afternoon.

Q: Where should 50+ year olds look for eye glasses?

A: On their foreheads.

Q: What is the most common remark made by 50+ year olds when they enter antique stores?

A: 'Gosh, I remember these.

This came from my retired brother-in-law. He took over my position as leading leisurologist after I resumed work.

Curses.