Ladyboy Radar

Back in my youth we brought novice skiers to the top of the mountain and pointed them down the black diamond course. Their terror was met with laughter and we skied down the slope to watch their progress from various vantage points. No one died or was sent to the hospital from this vicious gag.

In Pattaya a similar gag has been played on newbies by setting them up with a kathoey or ladyboy, especially after they've had a lot to drink.

It might seem cruel, but a good mate will take a friend's valuables before sending to this fate.

A good laugh for the tomorrow.

Of course there are some warning signs that your date isn't all she appears to be;

1. If her hands are larger than yours, then there's a good chance she is not only a she, but has a bigger penis than you.

2. Adam's apple belong on men, not women, but after a few drinks, who's looking at Adam's apples. Girls don’t have them, not ever.

3. If she's taller than you and more beautiful than any woman that you've ever slept with in your life, then there's a good chance that she is not a she.

4. If she speaks like a crow on helium, color her a shim.

5. You could try and tickle her so she uses her own voice, but remember ladyboys are tough as a bag of nails and getting knock-out cold by one is a dead giveaway that she is twice the man you'll ever be.

But in the end most newbies know what they're doing and give into temptation.

Once is experimentation, twice is preversion. - Gore Vidal