Tis the Season

My boss Manny hails from Brownsville. The part of Brooklyn was tough in the 30s. That toughness breeds its own language. Manny is a master of that vernacular. For years he greeted Christmas shoppers to his diamond store with the phrase 'there is no season for giving'. His son Richie Boy tried on many occasions to explain that he was basically saying that at no time should anyone ever give gifts.

"That's not what I said." Manny didn't have an ear for his own spoken word. 30 years on the Bowery and 20 years on 47th Street tend to deaf your hearing. Too much talk about diamonds, gold, and rust. "I'm saying that you can give a gift whenever you want."

"We know that's what you're trying to say, but it comes out the wrong way." Richie's command of the queen's language wasn't much better, however his father's phrase rung wrong. I was too well-educated to suggest any improvement on Manny's speech.

"Wrong way. You understood what I was trying to say, so what's the problem?" Manny was at the age when being wrong wasn't an option unless you wanted to admit decades of mistakes and admission of one would lead to an avalanche of realizations. It was better to think yourself forever right.

Soon 'no season for giving' became our holiday motto.

Of course Manny like a corked wine ages with surprise and this afternoon my boss was showing a young man a diamond ring. The customer actually wanted earrings. He was too young to want to get married. Manny's hearing is gone so he only hears whatever he wants. The young man was trying to tell Manny he wanted earrings, when Manny came up with another gem.

"This is Christmas, a time for giving, not a time for jerking off."

Richie Boy and I exchanged a disbelieving glance. His father couldn't have said what we heard. It was holiday time. The busiest time of the year, although this season no one was buying, yet Manny didn't care. he was insulting the morning's only customer and he wasn't stopping either.

"I don't that the time to waste on someone who would rather jerk off than buy his girlfriend a present."

"All I want is earrings." The young man had never expected this abuse from an 80 year-old man.

"I already showed you rings, now stop wasting my time." Manny threw out the young man and went back to his desk. He looked at us and asked, "What?"

"Nothing." Richie Boy and I said nothing. We knew better than to ask any questions during the season of 'jerking off'.