My friend Eddie Mickie weighed more than 300 pounds. He was the only fat person in Bethpage. Everyone else was thin. The year was 1971. Eddie was so heavy that his weight bend the frame of his Harley. Obsessed by space Eddie lost a third of his mass so he could take a glider flight. None of us thought much about going to Space, but Eddie explained the urgency of our departure from Earth.
"When the shit gets a foot high, you have to step a foot higher."
The shit floating in the present atmosphere would cover the earth in several meters of ash if the shit settled to Earth. Somehow all the emissions remain aloft, but so does the trash orbiting our home world. Over a half-million separate objects are hurtling through space at speeds unknown to the surface. One NASA genius even went so far as to unleash thousands of little needles to facilitate the transmission of radar singles. The project was a failure.
The shit is not only a foot high now, it's sky high too. No alien in his right mind would dare risk passage through that maze of crap, which means no one is coming to save us in 2012. At least not ET. He's staying home, if he knows what is good for him.
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