No one ever looks their best during the process of arrest. Stress and guilt combine with the facade of failed flight. Police rarely offer a comb or brush at the booking photo session and last week the newspapers published the pictures of eight Michigan men and women suspected in plotting the assassinations of federal legislators for the crime of offering America a health option other than those permitted by the insurance companies.
Six cross-cropped heads with two mullets. One male. One female. The core of the Hutaree militia must have looked more dangerous in camo and guns. None of birthers appeared particularly menacing in their powder blue jail 'jamas'. You can never read a book by its cover. Neighbors said mass-murderer Jeffery Dalmer seemed like a nice guy. His victims are disputing that opinion in the after-life.
"People are angry." Andy the cop at work said as we discussed the arrests.
"Angry enough to plot killing people?" I knew that the nigger-haters were riled by Obama's election. Population predictions predict a 50/50 white/other ratio by 2050 in the USA.
"We're tried of getting things rammed down our throat." Andy was an ex-cop. NYPD aren't scared of calling a spade a nigger.
"You mean like in DEEPTHROAT?" The Tea-Party of the Right had been ridiculed for their holding up tea-bags. 'Ramming down the throat' evokes Linda Lovelace taking Harry Ream's cock to the hilt.
"Fuck you." Andy's sense of humor runs on a short line these days.
"Anyone ever tell you that you look like Jerry Vale?"
"What's that supposed to mean?" Andy didn't trust any pinkos, even if I had known the dirtiest cop in NYPD history. Actually more than one, although his friend Bobby was special. Scary too.
"Just that you look good. Handsome actually." I wasn't blowing smoke up his ass. Andy was handsome for a short man. Our tastes in woman crossed currents.
"You ain't going Catholic priest on me?" Andy was a fellow non-believer.
"No, just that I noticed that these guys arrested in Michigan looked like shit in their mug shots."
"Anyone ever look good in one?" Andy liked his captives dishevelled for the camera.
"I did." Arrests in Boston, New York, Paris, Hamburg, and Bangkok. Always showed a good face for the arresting officers. "It's one thing to be a crook. It's quite another to look like a mug."
"That's why I like you even though you're a commie." Andy pushed back his jacket. he carried a 9mm on his hip. He thought girls thought it was sexy. He wasn't wrong. "You got style. Commie style, but style no less."
"Thanks." And I was grateful for his compliment.
At 58 my style reservoir is getting dry.
Thank the stars I have good hair.
Even with my fingers stained with ink after fingerprinting.
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