The 6th Commandment in Pattaya

The religious right in America have sought to increase the influence of God on the government by trying to place the 10 Commandments in various courthouses and legislature. While I am not a follower of the bearded Jehovah in the flowing muumuu, I have nothing against erection of the twin tablets of NO this and No that as long as the politicians passing through the portals such sanctified buildings adhere to the tenets of ‘god’.

No lying would eliminate 50% of the US Senate. No stealing would get rid of another 25% and no adultery would decimate the remainder, so the Senate would be a lonely place for the few saints.

I live in Pattaya.

A beach town without any commandments.

The other night at the Buffalo bar I asked three longtime friends, if they could name the 10 Commandments.

They got five.

"Thou shalt not kill." Martin had been released from German prison for armed robbery. He swore that no one ever was hurt during the crime. "And thous shalt not steal."

"That's two."

"Thou shalt not covet your neighbor's wife." Aussie Mark was the biggest bird dog in town. No one girlfriend or wife was safe from his predilections. Seduction was easy for a young man with Dirty Harry looks.

"Three."

"Thou shalt honor your father and mother and thou shalt not bear false witness." Sam Royalle raising two kids. One of them was his. The daughter he had picked up along the way, She was a a good girl.

"Five."

They gave up on that number, perhaps because Pattaya residents are dedicated challenging Sodom for the Guinness record of breaking the Commandments, which is why many farangs exercise ultra-special care in choosing their friends.

Trust is a weakness in Pattaya.

Especially with lowlife farangs. Most bar girls are 100% more honorable than a desperate farang. Not that anyone wants to be bad, but Pattaya breeds weakness in character, because no one wants to go back to their country of residence and will do anything to stay here another week, month, or year.

Case in point.

In 2007 Tottenham Nick lent a bar owner 250,000 baht.

As a favor until the bar owner sold his establishment.

While the bar owner was in Australia, my friend checked on the bar. He reported that the bar owner’s wife was sneaking money from the till and going out at night.

Who did the bar owner get angry at?

My friend.

And the fat bald cunt badmouthed the man who lent him almost $6000 US.

Tottenham Nick was not a calm man, but decided not to say anything.

“I want me money.”old me in private. He had friends to get it for him. Broken fingers and legs were their specialty.

Tottenham Nick gave the bar owner a little more time. The market for suckers was slow in low season, but he heard that the bar owner had been given a 300,000 down payment on the bar, which he then handed over to his girlfriend to buy land up country. My friend showed up and asked for his cash. The bald bar owner threw him out of the bar, telling him to fuck off. “I’ll pay you when I get me money.”

“Let no good deed go unpunished.” My old boss on 47th Street said and as usual Manny was right.

All my friend did was try to help a mate.

The bald bar owner might not be guilty of breaking DO NOT STEAL, but he did trespass over the ‘I’m a cunt’ line. I ran into him on Soi 6 and he called me a 'cunt' for backing Tottenham Nick in this argument. He had been drinking so I tried to avoid a confrontation, but he put his hand on my arm. I whacked the Aussie welcher with a fist loaded with keys.

There was no sense in fighting fair with someone like that. I broke my toe on his ribs. fighting in flip-flops sucks. Afterward Tottenham Nick thanked me for throwing the Aussie prick a beating.

"I only did it because you fucked up."

"Fucked up? How?"

"If you have to ask, then there's no point in telling you."

Living in Pattaya requires a different set of rules to escape the clutches of those farangs who don't believe in the 6th Commandment.

#1 Never trust anyone.

#2 If you do trust someone, only trust them up to the point where they can fail. Beyond that the fault is yours.

#3 Never lend more money than you can lose.

Of course I ignore all laws, because all laws are meant to be ignored, except after the fact.