Sunday, May 11, 2014

Pregnant Ha Ha Jewish Girl

Throughout the 50s and 60s and even the 70s and 80s and 90s, teenage pregnancy was a matter of family shame. Girls were sent to homes for unwed mothers to give birth to their little angels, in many case having their new-borns torn from their arms even before they have a chance to suckle their infant and put up for adoption by the Catholic Church or Baptist charity.

During the 2008 Sarah Palin the GOP VP candidate wasn't allowing her oldest daughter to suffer this indignity. The 17 year-old went full term for a lovely little baby. The new family values of pro-life and I concurred that life is more important than death, especially since Alaska is a welfare state. 33% of its revenue comes from Big Oil, 33% from the Federal government, and 33% from the sale of snow-mobiles.

The Last Frontier earns nothing from teenage pregggers At least not anything that state officials are willing to admit in a court of justice.

My brother-in-law, Boston's leading leisureologist, sent me a related joke.

An 18-year-old Jewish girl tells her Mom that she has missed her period for 2 months. Very worried, the mother goes to the drugstore and buys a pregnancy kit. The test result shows that the girl is pregnant.

Shouting and crying, the mother says, 'Who was the pig that did this to you? I want to know!'

Without answering, the girl picks up the phone and makes a call. Half an hour later, a Mercedes stops in front of their house. A mature and distinguished man with gray hair and wearing a yarmulke steps out of the car and enters the house.

He sits in the living room with the father, mother, and the girl and tells them, 'Good morning. Your daughter has informed me of the problem.

I can't marry her because of my personal family situation, but I'll take charge. I will pay all costs and provide for your daughter for the rest of her life.

Additionally, if a girl is born, I will bequeath two retail furniture stores, a deli, a condo in Miami , and a $1,000,000 bank account.'

'If a boy is born, my legacy will be a chain of jewelry stores and a $25,000,000 bank account.

'However, if there is a miscarriage, I'm not sure what to do. What do you suggest?'

Astonished at this point, the mother, who had remained silent until now, places a hand firmly on the man's shoulder and tells him, 'You'll try again, right?'

OY VEZ IST MIR

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