FAT WOMEN OF THE WORLD UNITE

friend, Jamie Parker, contends that the true cause of global warming is due to obesity.

"Think of those millions of fat people's body temperatures and their sweating on a warm day and don't forget about the friction of the wind hitting their plus-35 BMI. Jamie's previous theory about global warming had to do with Earth passing through a warmer section of outer space left over from the Creation, which got him a job with the GOP. It lasted about three weeks.

I'm much kinder to fat people, for unlike Jamie who's very thin, I have suffered from Orson Wellesitis throughout my life. Not that I ever challenged the fakir of fat, although I once found a his cape at a Provincetown antique store. The owner wanted $200 to the circus tent. I offered him fifty. He turned me down, but I think about Orson often. He was big and so is most of America. Bigger than big, however many of these over-sized people think of themselves as normal, especially the women and no one forgives these little elephants more than feminists who are constantly fighting man's attempt to focus beauty on one ideal form as a skinny model or a sex bomb starlet.

Skinny is not normal for feminists according to a UK study. Members of a survey shown a set of photos of women were asked to identify with the fattest and thinnest women in the photos. Most women picked fat.

After all most women are fat if only to project enough body mass to scare men from having sex with them and I can't blame them. I wouldn't want to have sex with me either.

Fat women of the world unite, but I have to warn them not in one place, because I wouldn't want the crust of the Earth to collapse.

Just saying Fucking Iggy.