I'm an old man. My body, not my heart or mind. At 56 I'm well past my mind, so I had to laugh when my Thai girlfriend told me on the phone that she was very jealous or 'huung' that I was in Russia.
"Whatever for?" I had been faithful for my extended absence.
"Russian women are very beautiful." She sounded as if she were really worried.
"I've been in New York for a year without touching another woman." True, mostly because 33% of the women are obese, another 33% are fat and the rest are disinterested in a man my age.
"New York women not same as Russian women." Mem lives on Jomtien Beach. Russians are the #1 tourist group throughout the winter. "You not go with Russian lady?"
"Not at all." My purpose in St. Petersburg is business. My only friend Seva doesn't drink smoke or chase women. I'm only looking at women on a purely aesthetic level. "I'm true to you."
"Sure."
"100%."
"Promise?" She had her doubts.
"I only have you." I hung up feeling pretty good about myself. A 25 year-old woman worried about my being unfaithful. She knows me oh so well, but I'm a good man these days. Only because I'm too lazy to be bad.
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