Outside the Pattaya Tai Big C Shopping Center there’s a skateboard club. Some Thai kids trying out tricks. Some were good. I tried a few moves and was surprised that I could do a wheelie. Hadn’t really intended to be so acrobatic. A question of putting too much weight on the back foot. The kids applauded my move and I handed back the skateboard, happy not to have taken a fall.
At 53 making contact with hard objects can be quite painful.
But I started thinking. “I’m not that old. I can still grind.”
Royal Garden had a few boards. 600 baht and 4000 baht.
I bought the cheap version and started skateboarding on my street. My daughter liked being pushed on the skateboard. It was harmless fun, until one day I was watching the Winter Olympics. It’s been years since I skied. I thought skateboarding down a hill might satisfy my downhill needs.
I mentioned to my wife that I wanted to skateboard down Jomtien Hill.
She asked, “How old are you? I know the answer. Do you?”
“It’ll be fine. I’ll wear a helmet and go in the new park. You’ll ride behind me so no one will run me over.” Thais have a finely honed disregard for pedestrians and it’s always open season on fallen farangs.
“Bah.” She thought I was crazy, but realized it was my own life. “Som nam nah.”
We drove over to the new park and I got out of the car. The roads were smooth. The high speed descent might rival the thrill of skiing. I wore a helmet for protection and flip-flops.
Sneakers would have been a better idea, but I didn’t think I would be going that fast.
“Sure you want do this?” My wife wouldn’t think me any worse for backing out.
“Yes, I’m fine.” I signaled I was ready. My daughter was in the car too.
I got on the board and pushed off.
I picked up speed.
A little faster than expected and I was soon rolling at 20 kph. then 30.
No brakes. I was out of control. I deboarded in a panic and my flip-flops failed the test of hitting the ground running.
Two steps and face plant.
My helmet thunked the pavement and my shoulder crumbled under the weight of a 53 year old body. I got up slowly. Nothing broken, but my cellphone which I hadn’t taken out of my pocket. 3500 baht. Squashed
Plenty of cuts and bruises. Blood seeping from open wounds.
My daughter was crying thinking that I had really hurt myself.
In fact I had and for the next two weeks, I felt like John Gotti’s Mafia collection agency had beaten me with a baseball bat.
Pain is a way of letting your body is not yet dead.
Then remind you how of your age but not letting you heal quickly.
Snow is definitely softer than the street. Lucky I didn’t break any bones.
Everyone upon hearing this story says the same thing. “How old are you?”
I think I’m 25 but act 15 sometimes.
My friend Jocko Weyland is a well-known skateboarder. He wrote a history of the sport THE ANSWER IS NEVER. Jocko thought my effort was commendable.
“Dude.”
So I was a dude to one person in the world.
Better than none, although three months after the crash I’m still sleeping on my right side only, three months after the crash. And the skateboard is gathering a fine veneer of dust.
“How old?”
VERY OLD, but still young at heart. In other words stupid too.
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