$69 Watermelon

New York is expensive. The price of everything is determined by a multi-layer of costs; taxes, rents, transportation et al. Fort Greene's merchants ticket their merchandise as if the one-time black neighborhood was a suburb of Paris. The restaurants charge full fare to pay their landlords or banks as do the high-end green grocers. The other day I wandered into Provisions on Fulton. The AC was a relief from the heat. 98 in the shade. Watermelon the size of Civil War cannonballs lay by the cash register.

Organic 79 cents a pound.

I picked up one.

Watermelon originated in Africa. The Chinese were wild for them. They were introduced to the Americas in the 1500s. 8% sugar and 92% sugar watermelon also contain citrulline, which relaxes the blood vessels.

My blood was boiling from the heat wave.

"How much?" I had a C-note in my hand.

The cashier weighed the melon. The register printed out the slip. I read the amount.

$69.

"You have to be kidding." My query was mired with shock.

"No, I don't think so." The laser scanned the sticker.

$69.

Again.

"Holy shit." A watermelon in Japan had once sold for $6100. A black jumbo. 2008. Good times. Not now, so this had to be the most expensive watermelon in New York. I put my $100 back in my wallet. I had children to support. I walked up Fulton Street with an empty cloth shopping bag. I was doing my part to save the planet. I entered the Green Grape and told the boys at the counter about the $69 watermelon.

"Had to be a mistake."

"Yeah, but it looked so perfect."

"69 dollars?"

"Yes."

We were in awe.

I bought a cheap but cheerful bottle of rose wine from Aix-en-Provence.

It was only $11.

Fuck the $69 watermelon.