Monday, January 2, 2012

No Season For Fun


A year ago Delaware's Tea Party candidate for the US Senate declared in previous years that masturbation was considered adultery and she once elected that she would pursue legislation to outlaw any and all onanistic sexuality. The previous White House administration had also deemed masturbation as more serious threat to America than atheism and funded several groups to combat the perversity without success. Furthermore federal money had been distributed to increase scientific research into devices designed to prevent self-abuse such as penis cooling devices and clitoral dams, however most funds had been diverted to expand the practice of circumcision to deny masturbators the extra pleasure from flogging the excess foreskin.

My sinful flesh was cut off without my consent.

The scarring was permanent.

I dream some nights about my amputated foreskin.

Thai hospitals offer an operation to replace the foreskin.

The cost ranges from $10,000 to $50,000 in the States depending on length.

I'll keep mine the way it is, unless the GOP steals the 2012 election and authorizes an end to masturbation by castration. There is no jerking off in their heaven of earth.

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