The ending of GAYBOY, a novella.
Two weeks into Michael's death vigil at the hospice South of Boston, Patrick, my other younger brother called me into the guest room.
“He’s going.”
The two of us hurried back to his room.
Everyone was crying.
I joined them, and then checked the machines attached to Michael. The vital signs were unchanged. Joni Mitchell’s URGE FOR GOING played on the small tape player next to the bed.
“No sad songs.” I tore out the cassette.
After everyone went home, my younger brother brought his guitar into the room and played FREEBIRD.
“Michael hates that song.”
“I know.” Patrick sniffed through misty eyes. “But your hearing is the last thing to go, so I know if he can hear it, he’ll think of me.”
The nurse approached us out of the earshot of the attending doctors.
“Funny, our patients never leave if a family member is in the room. The hospital encourages your being with him, because the longer you’re with him the bigger the bill.”
I related this information to my father and he summoned the rest of the family. They came over within the hour. It was time to say good-bye.
We each briefly spoke to Michael. His face showed no sign of life. My mother hugged him for a long time and my father pulled her into the corridor. The doctors looked at us with suspicion that we knew what they knew. Within the hour Michael passed over to the angels.
Two days later my sisters and brothers eulogized him at the funeral. My grief prevented my saying a word.
“I’ll always be there for you.”
“I know.”
Bruce my friend from the 1270, a gay disco near Fenway Park, came to the funeral home.
“Sometimes I feel like the last whale in the ocean.” He had lost his lover the year before.
“No matter where I am I’ll hear your call.”
“Thanks for lying.” He could still smile after all this, which meant I could too one day.
I informed my parents about my trip to Asia.
“I’m going to the holiest places on earth to help Michael’s soul pass from this world to eternity.
And I ended up in Tibet to circle the Jokhang Temple with Buddhist pilgrims spinning the prater wheels. Lhasa salved my soul and Michael remains with me always.