Wednesday, November 4, 2026

Cumberland County Kingdom

From the Kezar Pond to Saco Bay
Old Orchard Beach to Bailey's Island
Cumberland County, Maine a land of tall pines
The land of my youth___
The summer camp on Watchic Pond
Built by my grandfather
An orphan became a frontline surgeon in WWI France
A retreat from the horrors of the trenches to Maine
To a house with a nurse, my grandmother
A noble woman from a 9th generation Maine family__

Gorham was their refuge
The two raised a family
Three children
One my father
Later they moved to a huge farmhouse
To Westbrook
By the Presumpscot River
Not far from the shadow of the SD Warren paper mill

A new home


I grew up as a young boy in Falmouth Foresides
McKinley Road

A suburban developmemt

Across the harbor from Portland
My best friend, Chaney,
His home close to mine__
Wintertime we played hockey in my backyard

Summertime baseball
We both loved a schoolmate, Kathy Burns

She liked him more__
One day he found a basket of dead puppies
Didnt say where
We walked to the bluff with the basket
At the end of McKinley Road
Climbed down the steep stairs
To the fishing dock
We threw the still puppies
Into Portland Harbor
Their bodies bobbed on the surface
The tide took them to the sea br/>We said a prayer for the puppies__
In the summer of 1960
My family left our home on Falmouth Foreside
To a new home on the South Shore of Boston
A month later Chaney drowned in Sebago Lake
He was only eight
I have never seen his gravestone___

Four years later
I sat at a drugstore counter
A fourteen-year-old girl worked there We exchanged glances Not saying anything Only smiles As I left sh asked,
"Will you walk me home?"
At twelve a walk was a walk And fourteen-year-old girls wanted nothing from twelve-year-old boys
I stuffed my comic in my jean's back pocket
And drained my glass of vanilla soda
I accompanied the girl along the Presumpscot River br/>Into the woods
Past the paper mill
No houses
No voices
Only the grinding of the wood saws across the river
And the murmur of cars along Main Street__
She stopped in the woods br/>No one in sight br/>I felt so alone
She lifted her dress over her head
Her breasts rose tipped puffy pillows___ Scared me I was only twelve
I ran fast chased by laughter
Ran to my grandmother's house
Ran upstairs to my bedroom The walls: poplar trees, flat fields, France br/>Painted to remind my grandparents br/>Of the French countryside before the Great War. br/>This was home Same as the home on the South Shore Safe__
I lay in bed br/>My aunt's bed
Another innocence gone along with dead puppies

In 1975 my grandmother passed away
The camp was sold
The house on Main Street too
Chaney's family had moved north
From Falmouth Foresides
A year later I left my family home
On the South Shore of Boston <>To New York
Apart from all I knew

A city of too few pines to soothe old ghosts
Of an exile from Cumberland County But QA
They, Chaney, the girl, my grandmother Edith are with me always_

Tuesday, November 3, 2026

November 4, 1978 East Village - Journal Entry

At Club 57 on St. Mark's Place, Lang and I heckled the performers. Several people in the audience took offense. Miss Nancy, the emcee, shrilled, "Get the fuck out of here."

The crowd laughed and I responded saying, "Join the real world or at least the 1930s."

We didn't leave the club, but when David Street, a comic, appeared on stage. He was stunned to see us spotlighted as the offenders. He knew us as ruffians protecting gays, queers, and dykes on the scene and considered us friends. The next act came onto the stage to rescue us from embarrassment. Over thirty people were pissed at us, including my girlfriend, Alice, who had earlier extolled the turmoil of the boisterous claque in 19th-century French theater.

Adele Bertel from the Contortions confronted me. I grabbed the mike to recite a country-western poem.

Lucky's Ten Strike
Woke up this morning
Broke and deserted
Mona left me long ago
She probably should have left
Longer ago___
Mona was there
The night
I rolled 300
Ten straight strikes
At Star Lanes Bowling Center
In Butte, Montana___
I should have never celebrated
By leaving with the cocktail waitress
Leaving Mona to take a taxi
Home___
Woke up this morning
Broke and deserted
Same as always
And even my belly belly
Is broke too.
This silenced the crowd. Adele said it was great. Alice glared I left her silence for another bar. Alice was not pleased. Fuck them all. I went home to sleep. Why am I a monster?

Monday, November 2, 2026

A MOTHER'S LAST WISH by Peter Nolan Smith

After Christmas 1997 my mother entered the final stages of her battle with cancer. Her suffering intensified day by day. last rounds were not a pretty sighte, but her beauty remained intact to the end. Several days after the New Year my mother held my hand and said, "I'm so happy I made Christmas."

"Me too." I thought about John Wayne at the end of THE SEARCHERS and forced back my tears.

"You've been everywhere in the world. You've never been to Ireland. I'm leaving you a little money. I want you to go to Ireland and find a girl like your aunts or sisters to marry. Will you do that for me?" Her grip tightened to crack my knuckles. She knew her own strength to the measure. Her grandmother had fled the Aran Isles as a girl of twelve. Nana never went back home. The one boat trip was enough for her.

"Yes, I will." There was no refusing here, despite the incestuous nature of her last wish for her second son.

"You're a good boy." She released my hand with a sigh. "Help me with the medicine."

By medicine my mother meant her morphine drip. I hit her up good. Her tender eyes rolled into heaven and I kissed her forehead. Three weeks later she passed from this life. No one in my family contested her will and in August I received enough money to survive four months in Ireland. I had a new computer and the germ of an idea I wanted to nurture into a gem of a book. The west coast of Ireland

My good friend Camp arranged a rental in the far west of Galway beneath the Seven Pins of the Connemarra.

"That would be great." My Nana came from that part of the West. "What kind of house?"

"It belongs to a very aristocratic family."

"So it has to be grand?"

"How grand couldn't it be?" Camp was English. He lived north of New York in a valley dedicated to the pleasures of the wealthy. I trusted his taste, even if the Brit had never been to Ballyconeeley. Camp was an interior designer. Straight, but still an interior designer. They had style. "Are you in or are you out?"

"Count me in." I had read about the nearest town. Clifden had fifteen pubs. The guide books mentioned nothing about women.

"One more thing. Buy yourself some Wellingtons."

"Wellingtons?" I knew that the Irish-born Duke had defeated Napoleon at Waterloo. "Are they cookies?"

"Nope, rubber boots. You'll be needing them."

"I'll keep that in mind."

"Good luck with your writing and with your finding a bride."

"Thanks." I'd be happy with one out of two.

At summer's end I sublet my apartment and my boss at the diamond exchange wished me luck with my wife hunt.

"May you make your mother happy." Manny was a mother's boy. We all are in the end.

"I'm doing this for her. I doubt there will be any women." Most Irish women like women everywhere else left their hicktowns for big cities and the guide book had indicated that a small village could get more hickster than Ballyconeeley, which was renown for its cows and windy moors.

"Better you than me." The seventy year-old jeweler was in the first stages of divorcing his second wife. "I'm done with women. But you're still a young man."

"43." My father had six kids at this age. I had none.

"43. I would cut off your right ball to be 43 again." Manny slipped me a c-note. "Save it until you find a girl to take out to dinner. A yard has to go a long way with a girl from the sticks."

"Thanks." I stuck the hundred dollars deep in my wallet. It had to be good luck.

The next days's flight to Dublin took six hours. Customs and immigration went quickly and I caught a taxi from the airport into the city. The sky was crowded with low clouds trailing veils of rain. There was little threat of sun.

"Ah, so this is your first time to Ireland?"

"Yes."

"Well, get used to the weather. It's either raining, just rained, or about to rain. You got a good pair of shoes?"

"Yes." Heavy boots and also green Wellingtons."The driver recommended a cheap bed and breakfast on the other side of the Penny Bridge. The room was clean with a window overlooking an alley of brick walls. I didn't bother to unpack my bag and went to the front desk to I phoned my new landlord.

"So you made the flight over here okay."

"Yes, sir." I was respectful to my betters and elders.

"Why don't you come out here to pick up the keys for the house in the West. The taxi driver will know the way."

"I'll leave now."

I pulled on my tweed cap and buttoned I caught a taxi outside on the street. The drive on the motorway was a short one. Upon arrival at the landlord's address the red-headed driver whistled in appreciation. The gravel driveway led through a quiet park to a large Georgian mansion with a nearby Victorian shed housing a steam museum. The only word for the estate was grand.

"What's this man do?" He impressed by my destination.

"I think he sells beer."

"A lot of beers from the looks of it. Me and mine must have helped pay for this with all the Arthurs I bought."

"Arthurs?" My ear was adjusting to the accent.

"Pints. The founder of brewery name was Arthur."

"So you know the family?" I had never met them.

"There's only the one, but I only know them from the glass in my hand. Good beer. Good people."

"Right." I stored this tidbit of local lore for use at a later time and tipped the driver.

He drove off and I walked up to the front door." Selling beer was a good business and I thought to myself, "If the cottage is a hundredth of this barrack, then I will be living in the lap of luxury."

The door opened before I had a chance to ring the bell.

"Welcome." A silver-haired gentleman greeted me with a handshake and ushered me inside the house. "See you had no trouble find the place."

"None at all, sir." It was a palace complete with medieval tapestries and 16th Century paintings. I tried not to stare. This much wealth was usually reserved for museums.

"Call me Robert." He was tall and slender. His clothing suggested a life of grace.

"Yes, sir." Shaking off my place in the world was not easy, despite Robert's bonhomie.

The two of us sat in the kitchen and conducted the business of exchanging money and keys. The big room was colder than the outside. We drank a glass of an excellent St. Emillion to seal our verbal agreement.

"You'll find the house easy enough. It's the first one on the right before Ballyconneely. There's peat for the fireplace, but I suggest getting a hot water bottle for bed. Houses out that way are not centrally heated like back in the States."

"Thanks for the advice." A light rain pattered against the lead window. I was glad to have my cap.

"One more thing. The phone is on, but only for incoming calls. You want to use it for calls?"

"No." I knew no one in Ireland and international calls were expensive.

"Okay, smart thing. You're writing a book, so I hear?"

"Yes." It was about a black pimp in Hamburg. The subject matter seemed out of place in this house and I closed the subject by saying, "A quiet place without any interference from the modern world should be great for writing."

"The old schoolhouse is quiet."

"Glad to hear it." I also wasn't telling him about my mother's last wish.

"Let me drive you back to Dublin. We can go for a drink at the Shelbourne. It's the best bar in town."

"I'd like that."

Robert's ride was a gray Ferrari from the 60s. The 250 GTE hit 120 mph on the rainy motorway. The windshield wipers worked over-time. A mansion and an Italian sports car were good omen for the cottage in the West.

"I love this car, but I'm getting too old to drive it." Nearing Dublin he slowed down to 60.

"I know what you mean." Getting in was easy. Getting out required a man-servant.

We stopped at the hotel on Stephen's Green for drinks. In the bar my landlord was greeted by several of the men. He ordered the finest whiskey at the bar. My rent money paid for both rounds. It was an early night for both of us. He dropped me at my bed and breakfast and I bid him fare-well.

"Enjoy yourself. My friends have spend many summers in that house."

"You don't stay there?"

"Oh no, we stay at the family house."

Oh." I entered the B and B thinking how bad could the guest house be. The man had a Ferrari.

The next morning I rode the train to Galway. A bus brought me to Clifden. The town was small, but five bars crowded the main square. The rain fell with ease. A taxi was at the curb. A beer could wait.I got in the back.

"Where you going?" The fortyish woman's accent was thick than a slab of breakfast toast. Her face was worn from hard work. Gold glinted on her left hand. Her married status eliminated the driver from my list of eligible.

"The old school house in Ballyconeely."

"Right, it is." She stepped on the gas and we traveled down a two-laner too narrow for the passage of two cars. The sea was to the right on occasion and small farms rolled over the small inland hills. To the north mountains fought for my attention. Their summits were blunted by clouds. Not a single person was working the fields. They belonged to the cows.

"Here we are." We were passing the ruins of a church.

"There?" My great expectations diminished to utter disappointment. I had been scammed by his Lordship.

"No, that's the old Protestant church. It burned down unexpectedly in 1920. Stayed burned too. The schoolhouse is that one."

"Oh." A squat white house lay across a gully from the ghostly church.

"Ah, yes, it's a fine building." The turn indicator presaged our entering a dirt track. The uneven surface would have broken the axel of the 250 GTE. "This is it."

"I guess it is." I got out of the car and shivered in my light jacket.

The lawn was overrun by thistles and the tufts of grass wavering in a wet wind. The whitewashed house was devoid of any modern design or ancient practicality. The tall walls stood facing the west. The Atlantic lay beyond the field. The color blue matched the shreds of sky visible through the tattered clouds.

"You'll be wanting to wear a few more sweaters in the house. It's cold inside." She joined my shiver. "I went to school here. The teacher lived in the upstairs. Some people say the house is haunted. What do they know. You have a good day now?"

"Thanks."

"You need a ride, call me. The name's Peg."

"I will." I watched, as she drove away in the direction of Clifden, then turned to examine my home for the next three months.

The old schoolhouse was not a mansion. Part of the roof was in need of repair. A neglected graveyard lay in the bog separating the schoolhouse and the burnt church. The wan sun slipped into a cloud bank and the rain beat on the hard dirt. I ran inside the house. Peg had been right, It was colder within the old schoolhouse than outside.

The simple decor of sitting room reflected its use as a summer house and the well-used furniture have been rummaged from the local dump. I lifted the phone. There was a connection. I blew in my hands and bent over to pile peat in the small fireplace. The prehistoric carbon lit fast and generated a soft heat, although smoke was curling into the room. Something was wrong with the flue. The old schoolhouse was no mansion. A nearly empty bottle of whiskey was on the desk.

The view out the window was bleak. The wet grass gave way to savage gorse. The sky was descending to the earth. No houses were in sight. Finding a woman here was going to be a challenge.

I poured two measures of Paddy into a fruit glass grimy with fingerprints. I downed the fiery antithesis of Jamison's Malted Whiskey in one go. My body shook with displeasure.

"Cheap whiskey."

I had a second glass and sat by the fire. The glow within matching the glow from the peat.

All and all the old schoolhouse wasn't bad, because this was where my mother wanted me to be and wherever she was in the afterlife, she knew that I had obeyed the first part of her wish.

Getting to Ireland was easy.

Meeting a girl like my sisters or aunt was the hard part.

There was only one way to make it easy and I finished off the bottle. It went down a little smoother than before and I wouldn't have expected anything different from the old schoolhouse.

November 3, 1978 - East Village - Journal Entry

Last night at THE NEW WAVE VAUDEVILLE SHOW at Irving Plaza was a great success, but a debacle for me. My friend, Klaus Nomi, headlined along with a horde of starry-eyed rockers and artists. I was asked to be the security with my friends. None of us were paid, but we guaranteed free drinks .

The night of the show started slow, but by midnight the auditorium on Irving Place was packed with new wave affecionados. Klaus killed the crowd. He was a star. After his finale of I FEEL LOVE, the stage lights came up, signaling time to go home. I went from table to table telling guests that they didn't have to go home, but they couldn't stay here. The rest of the security guzzled liquor at the back bar.

Alice and her friends were flush having achieved glory for an evening. Tomorrow promised more with the B-52s headlining the show. Only one table remained. I approached the four rockers, telling the same thing as everyone else. They didn't like what they heard and a thin-haired guy in glasses asked, "Do you know who I am?"

I had seen him someplace, but said, "No."

"We're Blondie and we're not going anywhere."

"Blondie? I had seen them several times at CBGBs. I liked them and said, "It's been a long night. Just do me a favor and finish your drinks."

I turned to walk away, but he grabbed my shoulder. I shucked off his grip and slapped the beer out of his hand.

"Just leave, you cunts. You guys suck."

I was no music critic and they attacked me, as if one of them had said, "One two three four."

I seized the forelock of the rocker in the glasses and whacked him in the face. He backed away. I found myself with a shank of hair in my hand. After that, I was buried underneath them and their roadies. Not a fair fight. I was used to those.

Alice wasn't there when I got to my feet. I had trouble breathing. Two of my ribs were broken. I returned to our apartment on East 10th Street and lay on the futon wheezing. I coughed a little blood. Nothing serious.

Alice showed up at dawn.

She sat in the kitchen.

"A good night."

"Yes, but you had to ruin it all. Blondie wants to play, but both them and the B-52s won't perform if you're there."

"Really?"

"Yes."

"Well, the show must go on."

That morning we slept in separate beds.

Alice left for the show before sunset without saying a word. I wandered north to Irving Plaza and drank in the Polish Bar beneath Irving Plaza. The Poles toasted me. I toasted them back.

"Na Zdrowie!" I coughed with pain

I spit up blood for the next two days. I should have sued the band for a hundred thousand. Sadly, I wasn't that type of guy. I took my chops and lived with them.

Fighters win. We lose. We never cry.

Never.

THE RULE OF MR. KLAUS by Peter Nolan Smith / Anthony Scibelli

In the early 70s the Twin Towers rose over Lower Manhattan with the promise of a bright future, but by 1975 New York City was declared bankrupt and seven million people lived on the edge of anarchy.
The project's landfill created a desolation along the Hudson. The wind curled around the Twin Towers to blow sand in all directions and the middle class fled the city by the thousands.
The rich cared nothing for the poor and every morning wealthy passengers flew on faster-than-sound Concordes from JFK to Paris and London. Sean Coll heard the daily take-off in his East Village apartment. The Rolls-Royce engines were that loud.

Sean lived with a blonde catalogue model in his tenement apartment. For some reason he thought she loved him. Like most men he confused lust with love.

Lisa liked playing hard to get and she knew that role well. Days photographers shot her with cameras. At night she dated a tennis player and came home at dawn. Lisa liked playing hard to get and she knew that role well. At night Lisa dated a tennis player. She came home at dawn.

Sean never asked any questions, because the answers were too obvious.

When people wanted things, they called Sean.
Sometimes it was a girl. Plenty of fun girls roamed New York.

They did things for money, because everything had a price.

The clients were usually were happy with his work.

Other times people got cute.

Cute got people hurt.

In the end playing nice was in people's best interest.

Sean came from Boston. He had a reputation. It wasn't a good one either.

At a party Tony, a photographer, introduced Mr. Klaus. Sean was not in best form. Lisa had not come home for two days.

"I might have some work for you," the German businessman explained. "But I have one # 1 rule. You do what I say."

Lisa had not come home for two days and Sean had not been in his best form.

"I might have some work for you." Mr. Klaus said with a German accent. "But I have one rule. You do what I say."

"I don't have a problem with that. You know my price?"

"Yes."

"Then call me, when you need me, but not tonight."

A day later Mr. Klaus asked Sean to meet a woman named Clover at the New Lost Bar in Times Square. Tony came over with a wad of twenties. Sean gave him a finder's fee and asked, "You trust this Klaus?"

"I trust no one."

Sean showed up on time. Clover arrived ten minutes late. The blonde teenager was no woman, but she was no girl either and she explained, "I was a mistress to a Texas oil baron at 13. Does that make me bad?"

"No, but it doesn't make you good. Let's have a drink."

Sean ordered a gin-tonic. Clover had a martini.

The bartenders at the New Lost Bar never checked any girls for ID.

"Do some of this." She handed him a vial. "Mr. Klaus wants you to."

"Do you always do what he says?" She smiled with a laugh.

"When it comes to Mr. Klaus, yes."

Clover danced on the bar table or at least Sean thought it was Clover. In truth it didn't matter, because Lisa had been erased from his mind.

By the time they left the New Lost Sean was feeling no pain and Times Square looked like a pinball machine with Clover as the flippers and him as the ball.

Somehow they ended up in the subway.

Sean asked the conductor for help.

"You don't need any help, if you got her."

New Yorkers were experts at minding their own business.

The next stop was Mr. Klaus' penthouse.

"Willkommen, time for some changes."

Sean didn't like Mr. Klaus's welcome, but he was in no condition to refuse the scientist anything. Clove had slipped something into his drink.

He wasn't himself. He was no one.

Clover had her way with him. He didn't fight back. All he had left was surrender in his veins.

Afterwards Mr. Klaus asked, "Do you feel different?"

"No." It was a lie.

"Gut, I have a job for you. It might require violence."

"I wouldn't be here, if it didn't."

"An ex-associate has something of mine."

"What?"

"A ball on a box in a refrigerator."

"And you only want the ball?"

"Ja."

"What does the ball do?"

"Does it really matter?"

"No."

"Clover really likes you."

Where is she?"

"She is upstairs. You will see her later."

Mr. Klaus drove him to a luxurious townhouse on the Upper East Side.

The street was quiet. The rich could afford order even in a city of chaos.

"That's Cookie's house. I'll take care of her."

"And me?"

"There's a man with a gun."

"Does he know who to use it."

"No."

"Then he is just a man. Kill him."

"That costs more." Sean was many things, but not a killer.

"Maybe, but things will go bad for Clover." Klaus showed a photo. It was Tony's style.

Klaus was worse than Clover's Texas oil baron.

"Bring me the ball."

"I will." Sean didn't say how.

The man with the rifle was a young boy.

Sean strangled him to unconsciousness.

He was too young to die and too pretty too.

The steel ball seemed like a steel ball.

Sean held it in his hand.

He saw things.

One was that he could break Mr. Klaus' rule.

On the stairs Mr. Klaus had a blonde bound by a rope.

Cookie.

She looked tough.

Sean nodded to her.

Cookie yanked on the rope.

Mr. Klaus tumbled down the stairs.

He didn't stop until the bottom.

Sean left with the ball.

He was his own man again.

Sean found Clover in a bag.

He called a taxi and wrote on her thigh before freeing her.

"I thought you'd never come back."

"You were wrong."

"What did you write?"

"A poem. You can read it later."

Sean took her to his place.

Lisa was gone. Gine with a tennis pro. She had taken everything, except for the bed, the TV and a set of weights.

"Nice apartment."

Clover picked up a dumbbell.

"I want to be strong like you."

It was a good idea.

New York was a tough town for the weak.

Sean turned on the TV.

Clover read the words on her thigh. "You ae my hero. MOre an anti-hero. I always knew you would come one day."

"I like your poem."

"I wrote it for you."

Her smile told him that she would be a good roommate.

He had the ball and he had Clover.

And both were good things in 1978, because like the sand by the river New York had no rules # 1 for the good, the bad, and the in-between.

Fotos by Anthony Scibelli and Peter Nolan Smith

Story and Art Direction by Peter Nolan Smith

A STORY OF O by Peter Nolan Smith

In 1994 Crazy Santa Klaus had a special annual membership card to the Russian Baths on East 10th Street. This system was only offeed to a few people. The Roma, Crazy Santa aka John, me, and assorted regulars. The steam room crew began to heat the river boulders at 6am. The two-ton stones glowed red by 7:20. Opening time was 8Am. Crazy Santa Claus was in the dry steam room at 7:21. He was a rich junkie as was I and the Roma clan led by Udo, a king.

John was the last family member of an 18th century fortune. Heroin had not ruined his sense of entitlement. As a permanent member I could have entered the Baths at that bastardly hour, except my intenal alarm clock was set for the opening. A towel over my shoulder in shorts, a hoodie, and flip-flops, I exited from my apartment building into the morning. I read the seasons with every step.

Fall’s surrender to Winter. Snow on the sidewalk. The ornamental pears blooming in Spring. Summer hot and sticky.

I appreciated the staring faces of the day workers headed to the subway. Their eyes asked where I was going. The Puerto Ricans knew. They had lived here for decades. The business class newcomers knew nothing. Same as me in 1978. An exile from New England.

The Baths weren’t for everyone. A temple to cleanliness and rejuvenation. The weight of a night’s hard drink evaporated after 30 minutes in the 180F heat. Crazy Santa Claus was always on the top tier of the heat room. His white beard remained fluffy, despite the equatorial humidity. His body fat was ranked a zero. Classic junkie thin.

I had met the Jersey heir to a deodorant fortune through my Uncle Carmine. Crazy Santa Claus had a small room in Uncle Carmine’s basement. The walls were covered with hippie posters.

Crazy Santa Claus’ real name was John Lyon. His other alias for the addicts of the Lower East Side was Junkie John. He was a sucker. His family had big money. Crazy Santa Claus had assets. I helped him turn $80,000 of stock into gold coins. Not an easy thing to do in 1993. The Feds were hunting drug dealers laundering money. Collecting the coins took a little time. I asked Uncle Carmine if I should bilk him. It was an honest question. Junkies always lose everything valuable to the drug.

“He’s going to get $2 million at 50.” Uncle Carmine was patient. “We’ll get him then. He promised to take care of me.”

Trusting junkies was a losing proposition. I obeyed Uncle Carmine’s judgment and withheld only a 5% commission on the purchase. Crazy Santa Claus lost the gold coins to his crackhead girlfriends within a month.

Later in the autumn I saw him at the Baths. We hadn’t spoken since the sale. The near-albino nodded, as I sat opposite him on the highest row of the Baths. The air scorched my skin. I had passed the night in various nightclubs: The Tunnel and Limelight. Vodka fumed from my pores.

Crazy Santa Claus’ skin was parched dry as a Death Valley corpse. Junkies like vampires don’t sweat, unless they are jonesing.

“Hot, huh?”

“Always hot this hour.”

“You wanna smoke some O?” Somewhere in his head,he suspected that I had arranged his rip-off. He wasn’t man enough to blame himself, but he must have needed me for something. Something no good. He stood up with a towel around his waist.

“It’s a little early.” I was wearing a matching towel from the Baths and my own flip-flops. The ones at the Baths felt like wearing wooden shoes.

“No one’s here and anyone who is here lets me do what I want. My money buys freedom.”

I remembered how he talked about his money. I should have left, but followed him to the front of the Baths. I hadn’t smoked opium for years.

We entered the bathroom. Once the Chinese Triads had operated hundreds of opium dens in New York. The influx of China White had closed most of them. Junkies preferred refined heroin to opium We stood in a bathroom stall. He pulled out a glass stem. We lit up a small ball of black tar. The aroma was Golden Triangle. I knew from my trips to Lanna Thai on the Mekong. This wasn’t # 4. The country of origin was Mexico. Tijuana black. I faked my inhale. John, like most junkies, only cared about his high. The heroin flitted through his blood. He sagged against the wall. His rush lasted 30 seconds. I went upstairs to say my goodbyes to the owner.

“Where is Crazy John?” The owner had another name for Crazy Santa Claus.

“In the bathroom?”

I wiped the sweat from my face. Glad to have resisted the dr.ug’s sien call. The half-hour of the steam room had been vanquished by hangover. Work would be tough for the first hour. Only a little after a bacon and egg sandwich.

“He high?”

“Yes.”

“I will make sure that he doesn’t die.” Dead people were never good for business.

“You do that.” Not that I really cared, but Uncle Carmine deserved to get paid. One way or another.

From Kiev with Love 1978

The Kiev Restaurant opened in the late '70s. 24 hours. Punks went there after CBGBs, Max's, and the Mudd Club. Bacon and eggs, as the dawn broke the morn. It was a scene. I fought with Samo over his recording me on a tape recorder and discussed a photo-roman with Klaus Nomi. They went from obscurity to fame. I stopped going to the Kiev after the cook served well-done eggs. I sent them back. The waitress returned with a plate of transparent eggs on top of the first order. His message couldn't have been clearer. That was 1980. I wasn’t welcome there anymore.

Kiev Restaurant was the only Kiev in my universe meant the Kiev until September 2009..

That year I landed in the Ukrainian capital seeking payment from a local internet company for equipment from a Palm Beach manufacturer. My friends thought I was crazy. They all thought I was going to be killed by zeks or convicts. Russia was the Wild Wild East. I needed the money for my family in Thailand. I had no choice.

A flight from JFK. An hour's drive into the city from the airport. Onion-bulbed domes gleaming in the May sun. I booked into the Domus Hotel and walked around the old town. Punks drank on the corners, goths huffed glue in the alleys, and bums fought in the parks. Broken beer bottles glittered on the streets. It looked like a tough city, but I recognized a distinct female/male advantage. Something like 55/45% in the youth. And none of the women fat like Americans.

Then again, there were no 7/11s or fast food outlets in Kiev then.

And the beer was cheap.

On the steps of a cathedral, a long-haired man was playing Nirvana in the main square.

His audience consisted of all ages. Two drunken old men danced to FEELS LIKE TEENAGE SPIRIT. They even knew the words. Not a bad town. I went to a rendezvous with the president of an internet company. He owed $60,000 to the Floida manufacturer. He was a no-show to our meeting. I drank some more beer and left the next morning for Petersburg to hunt down another deadbeat company.

Kiev 2009. I wish them peace one day. Down with Putin and Trump. I’m off to vote in Clinton Hill.