Friday, October 28, 2022

Jews For The Orange Jesus

After the recent Shabbas I met with my Hassidic and Conservative Jewish friends. All of them had met in prison. For the most part their crime was fraud and I didn't consider them criminals. Ex-cons yes, but not criminals. They were drinking kosher wine and whiskey. I stayed with water, as I was waiting for a liver transplant. The midterm elections were only a week away and to a man they voiced their support for Donald Trump.

"You know his father was KKK?" I asked them.

"That was his father," answered, Yonni, the youngest Hassid, a young man with a lovely voice.

"And his followers are Nazis?"

"That's them, not him," answered our host, who called me the last of the Shabbas Goys. "Trump supports Israel and anyone who supports Israel gets out vote."

"Even though he might be a Nazi?" I was the only goy any of them knew.

"No one is perfect," replied Danny, who had served a six year bid in a federal prison.

"So now I understand that some German Jews voted for Hitler, thinking the Fuhrer might not be so bad."

"They couldn't vote for Hitler. They lost the right," protested by friend Joel, who had turned religious in prison.

"The Jews didn't lose the right to vote until 1935 and if you're voting for Trump, then some German Jews voted for Hitler."

"It doesn't matter as long as he supports Israel."

None of them has the right to vote due to their felon status.

Back in the 1960s almost 90% of American Jews voted for the Democrats.

Now almost 40% cast their ballot for the Orange Jesus.

They returned to their drinking and I realized that my one vote counted for more than any of them. Coming from the South Shore that meant vote early and vote often.

Especially against the Orange Jesus.

At least I know where he's heading.

Sunday, October 2, 2022

AMONG THE REDWOODS by Peter Nolan Smith

The noon sun shimmered off Monterey harbor. The moored sailing boats bobbed with the light breeze and hundreds of pleasure craft wavered on the wake of a departing fishing boat. A middle-aged man took a photo of his wife before a large trawler tied up to a forlorn dock, while I walked toward Cannery Row.

This waterfront had been immortalized by two of John Steinbeck's Great Depression novels.

Overfishing of the sardines had wiped out the jobs and the doors along Ocean View Avenue had been nailed shut by their owners. The hotels and bars catering to the fishing fleet had been razed to provide parking for the tourist trade and the only sign of life on Cannery Row were two cats fighting over a mangled fish carcass.

I wandered away from the forlorn harbor toward the Presideo. Two young soldiers guarded the entrance to the old fort. The Viet-Nam War was coming to a close and the hippie era had ended in the Haight. We nodded to each other in acknowledgement of the new era of peace. 1974 was not 1967.

I adjusted my sleeping and canvas bags on my shoulder and crossed the wooded peninsula in the direction of the sea.

Upon reaching the dunes of Del Monte Beach I stood transfixed by the perfection of the tubed waves rising from the deep. A dozen surfers in wet suits rode the thick green swells to shore like gods from Atlantis. California was Beach Boy country.

The broad slope of sand was dotted by sunbathers and mothers surveilling their children in the shallows. I stuffed my leather jacket in the canvas bag and kicked off my heavy Fyre boots. A little over a week ago I had swam in the Atlantic and today I walked barefoot to the Pacific Ocean.

Clear ripples eddied around my feet. The cold sand swirled over my toes. My arms stretched wide to catch the wind and the June sun tasted my skin. I fought the urge to strip off my clothes. Becoming one with the four elements was better saved for a more secluded spot down the coast and I retreated to the dunes.

Sitting on a charred log I brushed off the sand and tugged on my boots. My good friend AK and I had split in Lodi four days ago. The piano player was waiting for me down in Encinitas. At the speed I was traveling, San Diego was more than a month away. I picked up my bags and resumed my trek around the Monterey Peninsula.

Every winter until 1966 ABC Wide World Of Sports had aired the Bing Crosby Golf tournament at Pebble Beach and I stopped for a few minutes to observe a foursome of golfers approaching a tee. The first three landed their shots on the fairway. The last one sliced his drive right and the ball pocked a tree not far from me. The brightly-attired duffer shouted out an apology and I waved to indicate that he hadn't come close.

17 Mile Drive wasn't a good place to hitchhike and I trudged into Carmel a little past 1. A rustic Mexican cantina was selling tacos and I ate two at the bar. I could have easily put down a third. A San Francisco Chronicle lay on the counter.

The previous evening Cleveland baseball fans had rioted at 10 Cent Beer Night and the California police were conducting statewide raids to find the kidnapped heiress, Patti Hearst. The FBI was offering $50,000 for information leading to her capture. No one who knew anything about Tania's whereabouts was saying nothing. The surviving SLA members had gone to ground. I paid the bill with the $20 that Maya had given me this morning and tipped the waitress a dollar. The dark-skinned girl couldn't have been happier and wished, "Via con dios."

"Muchos gracias." That and 'une otra cereza' were the extant of my Spanish.

Reaching the Pacific Coast Highway I dropped my bags on the ground. The Frye boots had taken their toll on my feet. I was done with walking and stuck out my thumb. The shoulder offered little shade and the sun toasted my pale eastern skin. Most of the passing cars were big gas guzzlers from Detroit. The women behind the wheel fearfully avoided any eye contact and the men scowled a threat. Something bad was happening on this stretch of the coast and it wasn’t simply the recession.

I toyed with heading north to Santa Cruz and Maya. Returning to her house in the redwoods was not really an option. Boyfriends hated weekend lovers. I counted cars. Number 134 was a Volvo station wagon, which braked to a stop. The driver was a longhaired hippie. I threw my bags in the back and sat inside.

"Thanks for the ride." The radio was tuned to a station playing Quicksilver's SHADY GROVE.

"How long were you there?" The driver pushed red sunglasses back on his nose and then shifted through the gears to fourth.

"About an hour. People looked at me like they were scared." I stared out the window and the Pacific Coast Highway grew in legend with the passing of each curve.

"They have to be careful who they give a ride." The Volvo cruised at 50. The car reeked of weed. Any police stop earned a 'go straight to jail card'. "You won’t read about it in the newspaper, but a killer is working the PCH. People go missing all the time."

"You don't mean the Zodiac Killer?" This unknown maniac had murdered at least five young people in Bay Area. The police had no leads.

"No, he stopped in 1970. This killer targets women. The police don't publicize this in the newspapers anyone, because they don't want us to panic."

"Or hurt business." Panic had a bad ecomnomic effect in a recession. "Aren't you scared about picking up hitchhikers?"

"No, but I'm careful about who I pick up." His sunglasses slid down his nose, as he glanced at me. "You look harmless, plus the biggest danger to you are thieves robbing hitchhikers."

"A gang tried to rob me in Frisco. I was lucky to escape without injury." I said nothing about knocking out one of the gang. Violence wasn't a good selling point to someone giving you a ride.

"San Francisco isn't the City of Love anymore, but that doesn't mean we have to stop the love." The driver flashed me the 'power to the people’ fist and turned up the radio. KSAN segued to the Airplane's VOLUNTEERS we sang the chorus in harmony. The revolution was not over, then again neither were the days of Helter Skelter.

The hippie left Route 1 at a dirt road leading into the coastal highlands. He didn't say where he was going and I didn't ask.

The next ride was from a well-dressed man in a Chrystler Imperial. His dark suit was crisply pressed for business. Every fifteen seconds he glanced at my crotch. The wedding ring on his left finger didn't prevent his cruising the PCH for adventure.

"I'm heading inland at Notley's Landing. My cabin is surrounded by redwoods, plus my wife loves company, if you catch my drift." what I mean." Even straight America had succumbed to the siren call of the Sexual Revolution.

"Swinging isn't my thing.The driver looked too much like my father and I feared that his wife was a dead ringer for my mother. Swinging wasn't my scene.

"Tough going from here to Big Sur. Not many cars and more than one killer hunts for prey on the PCH."

"So I heard." America was awash with murder from coast to coast.

"I could drive you to San Simeon tomorrow." He wasn't giving up so easy and tapped his pocket. "I could make it worth your while."

"No thanks." I didn't need his money that bad. "But if you see me tomorrow, I'll be grateful for that ride."

Ten minutes later he dropped me at Notley's Landing.

Salesmen and businessmen sped past me without braking. Grim cowboys glared from dented pick-ups and battered hippie vans rolled past one after the other. Justified paranoia swam in the drivers' eyes. I walked several miles down the road. I crossed the Bixby Creek Bridge. Arid pastures ended at sheer cliffs tumbling to a desolate beach below the concrete span. Waves thundered on the sand. I searched for a foot path. There was none and I stopped on the other side of the bridge, content to be part of the scenery for the rest of time.

Several minutes later a small truck loaded with hay stopped before a curve. The local farmer offered a short ride to Los Burros Road. His cheek was filled with tobacco chaw and rusty brown splotches stained his flannel shirt.

"Thanks for stopping. Everyone else seems to think I was a murderer." I sat down in the passenger seat with my hands in sight.

"You don't seem the type." The old man examined me with a squint.

"Thanks, another driver said the same thing." I didn't feel the type either.

"But these murderers could be anyone. The boy next door or a policeman. Last year a madman killed a bunch of co-eds up around Santa Cruz and scattered their remains in Big Sur. The cops arrested him, but then another maniac began killing men around LA. The cops haven't caught him yet."

"Not to mention the remnants of the Manson Family." Charlie and his girls had been sentenced to life. The rest of them were on the run. They were no angels.

"There are some fucked-up people out there, but while Big Sur has a lot of weirdos, none of them are dangerous, except to themselves." The farmer spewed tobacco juice out the window.

"Sounds like you know the area pretty well." He sounded local.

"My family has been here since the birth of dirt. Back in the 20s only two families had electricity. Ours wasn't one of them. This road wouldn't have been built if it wasn't for the chain gangs. My mother told about hearing them convicts thumping the road. Took them 25 years to complete it."

"They did a good job." The two-lane masterpiece hugged the bluffs above the Pacific.

"Like to see them try it now." The farmer spit out the window to emphasis his disapproval. "All the damn fools know how to build are those freeways."

"That's why I traveled south this way." Out my open window the sun paved a golden highway to the horizon. Somewhere to the west dawn was breaking in Asia.

"You made a good choice. I've been driving on this road since they finished it in 1937. I've seen hoboes, tramps, sailors, beatniks, poets, writers, artists, runaways, hippies. If this road could talk, no one would believe its story."

"You ever pick up anyone famous?" Big Sur had been a refuge for writers and artists since the 30s.

"You mean like Henry Miller or Jack Kerouac?"

"Yes." Kerouac had written BIG SUR at Lawrence Ferlinghetti's cabin.

"They were too crazy for my tastes, but I saw them all at the Post Office. Liz Taylor and Richard Burton too when they filmed THE SANDPIPER. I got her autograph for my wife. Still plenty of artists hiding out here. Most of them don't look like you think. Look mostly like anyone. You ever meet anyone famous?"

"I once shook hands with Robert Kennedy and I saw Albert DeSalvo at a mental institution."

"The Boston Strangler. Bullshit. The police wrapped up the case after the ex-con confessed to the murders under hypnosis."

"You're probably right, but back in January of 1967 my school's track team played at mental institutions around Boston and DeSalvo was sitting in the stands of Bridgewater State Hospital. He didn’t look like a killer."

"Same as you. Did you get his autograph?"

"No, none of us didn't go close to him." He had been murdered in Walpole Prison by a member of the Winter Hill Gang.

"That killing craze could be infectious."

The farmer dropped me a mile south of Point Sur and I walked the rest of the way to Big Sur. The famous destination for writers and artists wasn’t a town. A simple wooden store served as a post office and grocery store office for the remote coastal region. A few cars were parked in the dirt lot. A bearded man in his 50s exited from the store and got into his Volvo. He drove by me pointing to the left, meaning he wasn't going far.

Neither was I.

The setting sun was seeping through the gauntlet of redwood groves. The air was scented by the ancient pines and I was thinking about finding a safe place to camp for the night, when a red Ford pick-up skidded to a halt twenty feet from me.

Two long-haired men scrambled from the flatbed and fled into the woods, as if they were wanted by the police. I hadn’t seen a Highway patrol car the entire day. Their hurried departure unsettled me and I readied to join their bolt into the trees, as the battered pick-up inched up to me. Scraps and dents had recorded a history of accidents on the steel body and I expected a mass murderer was driving the wreck.

Nothing else could explained the hippies' fearful flight.

The passenger window rolled down and a young girl with curly hair asked, "You have any weed?"

"There's a joint or two in my bag." I glanced behind the truck.

The previous passengers had vanished into the forest.

"Cool." The massive driver wallowed behind the wheel like a walrus stuck between two rocks. Her dark hair shorn short like a Marine. I knew her type.

"We're going to crash in the redwoods for the night. You want to join us?" The smaller girl's olive complexion betrayed her Spanish blood. She was all skin and bones.

"It will be fun." The masculine driver was about twenty pounds short of Mama Cass' mass. Dykes liked heavy. They thought that the weight made them tough.

"Where are you going?"

"All the way to San Diego." The younger girl looked at my crotch and her brown eyes danced with mischief. “"But tomorrow. Tonight we're camping in the woods. That all right with you?"

"I guess so." Hitchhiking in the dark with a killer on the loose held no appeal.

"My name is Jill. My friend is Jackie." Her smile suggested anything goes.

Both women wore loose denim overalls. Nothing else. No bras. No shoes. Their skin was bronzed without tan lines. They were obviously sun-worshippers.

"We can get some food at the store and a big jug of red." Jill motioned for me to climb in back and I climbed into the flatbed. The two women were lesbians and probably lovers. As long as tonight was strictly weed and wine I was good with camping in the woods. There was safety in numbers.

We hit the Big Sur Outpost for provisions.

"Don't worry about your stuff." Jackie stepped out of the truck. She was over six feet tall. The giant motioned for me to leave my bags in the truck. "This isn't the Haight."

'You sure?" My sleeping bag and canvas carry-all were the sum total of my worldly possessions.

"This is about getting back to Nature." Jackie pulled me away from the truck. The big woman was used to getting her way. "It's cool. Trust us. Trust the world and Mother Gaia will shine on you."

"I'm into Mother Earth." This morning a gang had tried to rob me in Golden Gate Park. I had knocked out the toughest junkie with a rock hidden in my hand. There wasn't another car in the lot. I pointed to a pay phone. "I'll be a few seconds."

"We won't be long, so keep it short." Jackie guided her consort into the store. She was at least twice the size of Jill.

I emptied my pocket of quarters and took a piece of paper from my wallet. I dialed the number in Encinitas. The operator came on the line to demand $2.15 for three minutes. It was the price of an LP. I slotted the coins into the phone. A woman answered on the second ring and I asked for AK.

"Where are you?" my friend sounded high on weed. AK loved his reefer.

"Big Sur."

"Big Sur? That's only two hundred miles from Lodi. You haven't made much progress."

"It's tough going." Three days and nights with Maya had stalled my progress. Our bodies had locked time in chains. AK wouldn't understand my sleeping with a Peggy Lipton lookalike. He was straight. "How about you?”

“I’m going to the beach every day. It's great. My friend Vincent is coming on the weekend. He's working as a dancer in Hollywood. Maybe he can get us jobs. Hop on a bus and get down here."

"I'm trying, but tonight I'm camping with two women in the redwoods. Don't get excited, they're lesbians. The only reason they want me to camp with them is that I have two joints and they're scared of a murderer cutting up women on the PCH,"

"I haven't heard anything about that."

"THere's another killer slaughtering men in LA. The police are experts at keeping a lid on their investigations. I should be down there tomorrow or maybe the day after that. Hitchhiking isn't that easy on the PCH, but it is beautiful."

"I have some good news. You remember Pam?"

"Of course."

The blonde nursing student had shared the driving across country with us. Everyone thought that she looked like Patti Hearst.

"Is she still up in Mendocino." My ex-girlfriend's roommate had headed north to meet her boyfriend.

"She called to say that her boyfriend was seeing another nurse and there was no job, so she's coming down to Encinitas next week." AK had a thing for her.

The line was cut by an avalanche of quarters into the collection box and I slammed the receiver in its cradle. The call had lasted less than three minutes and I cursed At&T, as I went to the truck and got out my black leather coat.

I entered the store. The floor creaked under my boots. The interior smelled of dust and stale food. The canned food appeared safe and I grabbed tuna, beans, and peaches off the shelves. The two women picked out sagging vegetables, Uncle Ben's rice, and two bottles of Zapple wine. It was as sweet as cough syrup and I opted for a large jug of Gallo White. Big was good. I peeked out the front window. The pick-up was the only vehicle in the parking lot.

At the cash register Jackie slipped her arm around the smaller girl to confirm their relationship. The teenage girl behind the counter ignored the gesture. Big Sur was a magnet for all kinds.

I offered them a $10 and looked out the door. We might have been the only four people on Earth. My bag were safe in the truck.

"We don't need your money." Jackie waved her hand at the crumpled bill. She was the pants of the couple.

"I'll pay for my own." The bill came to less than $10. The way things were going I could stay in California the entire summer.

The three of us exited from the store, The girls walked barefoot across the pebbly lot with the grace of ballerinas crossing a polished wooden stage. Their soles had to be tough as leather. I climbed back into the back of the truck and Jackie unscrewed the Zapple to drink from the bottle. Jill took the next tug and her face shone with an imp's delight. She was no lady.

The young girl handed me the Zapple. The wine was sweeter than I remembered it.

"We going far?" I wiped my mouth and returned the bottle to Jill. The sun had dropped lower between the redwoods and the ancient forest donned a fairy tale cloak of moss.

"I know a place." Jackie signaled Jill to get in the truck and she drove south. The outpost disappeared behind a wall of trees and the pickup veered off the PCH onto a logging road. Whatever they had planned for the evening was better executed beyond prying eyes.

The F-150 sped down the dirt trail and the tires lost contact with ground several times. I was rocked from side to side and banged on the roof for her to slow down before I was tossed from the truck. The two of them laughed with a wickedness emboldened by the V8. The truck lifted into the air and crashed onto the rough road. Jill screamed out a warning too late and the chassis ground to a halt.

The sudden stop threw me against the cab.

The fat driver cursed behind the wheel, as the dented Ford F-150 rocked back and forth without moving. The pick-up wasn't going anywhere and I jumped out to look underneath the truck.

"You're stuck on the stump.' It was about two feet wide.

"Stuck?" Jackie shut off the engine and got out of the truck. Driving fast wasn't funny anymore. Jill got out on my side. The smaller woman knew when to steer clear of her brutish lover.

"Damn." Jackie slammed her thick palm against the steel.

"It's not that bad. You were luck not to have shattered the transmission and I don't smell any fuel or oil. You have a jack?" She had been lucky not to shattered the transmission.

"Yes." The heavy-set driver brushed the pine needles off her overalls.

"Why?"

"We jack up the rear of the truck and once it clears the stump, we push it forward."

"Then what?" Women were distrustful of men on the best of circumstances. Dykes even more so.

"If the truck isn"t fucked up, then we camp out for the night. No change in plans."

"This is on you." Jackie grabbed a rusty jack from behind the seat. I positioned it under the rear bumper and pumped the lever until the chassis cleared the stump by a good six inches.

"Is this going to work?" Jackie bent over to examine the situation.

"We could go back to the outpost and see if there was a tow truck around Big Sur. They could haul us off the stump in two minutes." I had stranded my brother's VW on Horseneck Beach at low tide. By the time the tow truck reached me, the waves were lapping at rear tires. The tow truck freed the Bug with ease. "It's not like we’re in a hurry."

"This truck can take a good beating." Jackie was not interested in having another man around Jill. "Which way are we pushing it?"

"Away from the transmission, so to the right. You ready?" I placed my hands on the back of the pick-up.

"On the count of three. One-two-three."

Jackie and I shoved in unison and the truck lurched to the right and fell six inches to clang on the stump, but the chassis had cleared the stump. Jill clapped her hands and kissed her smiling lover on the lips, then danced across the pine grove to peck my cheek.

"Thanks."

"Glad it worked out." My face reddened with embarrassment.

"Let me get the truck off this road." Jackie pointed to a circle of redwoods. "That will be home for tonight. Start gathering wood."

The porcine dyke drove the truck to the trees and unloaded camping gear. Jill gathered kindling and I picked up dried wood for the fire. A red glow faded from the chinks in the forest to the West. The sun was setting in the Pacific and darkness creeped over Big Sur.

The kindling took to fire and Jill spun around the flames like a Sufi mystic. The overalls fell to her belly. Her breasts were capped by puffy nipples. Jackie noticed my staring.

"Pretty?"

"More beautiful than pretty." I was describing the redwoods more than her breasts. The king pines in Maine were half their size.

"She's a free spirit." Jackie chopped the wood with a small ax. She was good at it. A overalls strap fell off her shoulder. Her sagging breast was almost as big as my head. "We both are."

“Freedom's just another word for nothing left to lose." I pulled out the joint that Maya had given me this morning. I lit it from the embered kindling. The first puff filled my lungs with smoke destined to bliss my mind. I passed it to Jill, dancing to the music in her head.

"This is the real freedom. Away from the cities. Away from the roads. Away from TV and churches and hang-ups." Jackie cleaved the ax into the nearest redwood and undid the other strap. Her eyes sparkled with a missionary zeal. "Free as nature. Jill and I live on the beaches and in the woods. We have no house. Only the truck and us."

The big woman described their voyage sound like the TV show ROUTE 66, where two men drove a Corvette around America, except Jackie and Jill weren't men and the Ford pick-up truck wasn't a Vette.

"Jack Kerouac said, "Live, travel, adventure, and don't be sorry." He had put us all on this road.

"And Lewis Carroll wrote, "If you don't know where you are going, any road will get you there." so here we are."

Jackie pulled Jill onto her lap and took the joint. The two of them kissed without inhibition. I felt like a third wheel. I knew gay men in Boston. They were my friends. Lesbians existed in a parallel universe separate from us. My only knowledge of their behavior was based on dirty books and I was jealous of their ability to sustain an endless chain of orgasms.

Jill glanced at me and ordered, "Take off those boots, we're going anywhere fast."

"Sure." Sorry about staring."

"You never seen lesbians before?" Jackie's question was edged with confrontation.

"Not really. When I was a boy, my father took me to a restaurant in Boston." I pulled off my boots to free my feet from the thick leather. The pine needles were soft under my soles. "Durgin Park has been operating since the 1800s. The waitress staff is all-women and by women I mean retired Navy nurses. Their hair was cut short and they took no lip from the customers. They were real nice to pretty women and after we left I asked about those waitresses. MY father said they were lesbians."

He had actually said 'dykes'.

"And that's it?" Jackie cupped Jill's small breast. The small teenager squirmed on the bigger woman's lap.

"Pretty much. I hung out at a gay bar in Boston. The 1270 was all men. The Saint was for women, but they didn't like men in the bar, thinking they were looking for sex."

"Men are only capable of one thought at one time." Jackie passed the joint. "I suppose the only lesbians you ever saw were in stroke books."

"Yes." The joint had two more puffs in it. "The Combat Zone in Boston offered books covering a wife range of sexuality."

"Which ones did you like the best?" The fire painted Jill's face and the flames dancing in her Latin eyes.

"My favorite was THE ITCH by Steven Hammer. There was homosexuality, orgies, lesbianism, sadism, everything. I must have read it hundreds of times."

"I know the feeling." Jackie threw another log on the fire. "I frayed THE THIRD SEX by Artemis Smith and couldn't keep my hands of THE BASHFUL LESBIAN."

"You were my introduction to lesbians. Jackie picked me up hitchhiking a year ago. I was running away from a touchy stepfather in Texas. I bet you'd both like to read that book. Mybe I'll write it one day." Jill slipped off Jackie's lap and pulled a blackened frying pan and greasy cooking utensils from a bag. She pulled up her straps and poured water into a pot. "I don't know about you, but all this talk about reading has got me hungry. Here's a knife, you chop up the vegetables. Jackie will read us her poetry."

I diced onions, chopped carrots, and sliced potatoes, as the big woman half-recited poems about the Greek island of Lesbos, worlds without men, and tribadism with young girls. Once the water came to a boil, Jill plopped the vegetables into the pot.

Smoke from the fire of redwood branches curled up the chimney of ancient trees. A starry evening completed the roof of evergreen. We drank the wine from the jug and set up a comfortable seating area with our sleeping bags. The flames cast sly shadows on the girls' faces.

Jill strained off the water and spiced the vegetables in the pot, adding soy sauce at the end. We ate off bent aluminum plates with wooden spoons. The truck was blocked from my sight and I said to the girls, "This could be 1900."

"Back then they called what we have a 'Boston Marriage'. Two women together. Emily Dickerson had one. When the other woman broke it off, she secluded herself for years." Jackie shut her eyes and then said, "A solemn thing it was I said , A Woman White to be And wear Her blameless mystery."

"You missed a line." I had studied Dickerson in high school.

"No, I dropped it on purpose." Jackie opened her eyes. "I have a thing about God."

"She thinks He's a She. Like maybe a transvestite." Jill pointed to my bare calves. "You wouldn't be such a bad-looking tranny. Of course you'd have to shave your legs."

"The rest of me isn't so hairy." I opened my shirt. My chest was hairless.

An owl hooted overhead.

They pretended to be scared and wrestled me to the ground. Jackie pulled off my shirt and Jill stripped off my jeans. I was naked and within a second they were too, but instead of kissing me the two women embraced each other with a fervor I had only seen on the silver screen at porno theaters in Boston's Combat Zone.

"Fuck me now," Jill begged with a bedeviled voice. I finished within the smaller girl in less than a minute. Flaccidity was not acceptable in their presence and they devoted their attention to getting me hard again. Jackie squatted on my groin. She thrusted down with the force of a Sumo wrestler. My bones cracked under her weight. Jill took pictures.

That night if I wasn't with one of them, then the two women were at each other like cats mad for milk. Their tongues lapped loud on each other's flesh. The second I recovered, they would enlist me back into service. Between breaks they huffed a white powder. Crystal meth was fueling their lust and they were getting wild on speed. They didn't offer me any. They wanted their captive to be hard.

Jackie needed wine to calm her nerves and drove off to the outpost at sunset. I fell asleep so exhausted that I didn't feel Jill shaving my body. It was night, when she shook me awake and held out silk lingerie.

"Dress in these. Jackie likes to see men in them."

I didn't put up much of a fight. The silk bra and cut-out panties were surprisingly soft on my skin and it turned Jill on. Jackie said that my face had Neanderthal features. They called me Bam-Bam.

Jackie shot Jill and me with her camera.

"I can sell them in LA for good money. You'll be famous."

I could do without such fame, but was in no position to refuse their demands.

For two days I was their rented mule. We linked in daisy chains of three. They worked my flesh to the bone and I recalled the two hippies fleeing the pick-up truck.

They had good reason.

These two women were sexual predators. The redwood grove had become our stalag. I was Charlotte Rampling in THE NIGHT PORTER. Jackie was Dirk Bogarde. Jill was from ILSA OF THE SS SHE WOLVES. Their nails tore at my flesh. My skin bore teethmarks. Blood stained my sleeping bag. These women liked it rough and I feared that wouldn't stop until I was dead.

Jackie spoke of a world without men.

"If me and my friends ruled the world, we'd make all men dress like you and teach them what it's like to be a woman. Jill, show him how we treat slaves."

It wasn't nice and that evening the two of them strayed over the border on sane speech and behavior. Jill sharpened the kitchen knife with a stone. The young Latina could have passed for a Charlie Manson inductee and mentioned the words 'manslaughter of men' more than twice, as Jackie chopped wood with a crazy-eyed frenzy reminding me of Lizzie Borden and the forty whacks that she gave her parents.

Most of that day the big woman spouted anti-male hatred direct from Valerie Solanas' SCUM Manifesto. Jackie repeated a mantra about how a chicken runs without its head. Her ax shone in the firelight. Jill knife gleamed in the flickering flames. I stopped sleeping with both eyes shut.

On the third night they crashed out of their speed binge and lay on the sleeping bags dead to the world. I stripped off the lingerie and rummaged through their bags for the film that Jackie had shot of us. I stripped the roll out of the camera as well. Any evidence of my stay in the redwoods burned with a sizzle in the fire.

Grabbing my bags I darted from redwood to redwood. The thick trunks were good for hiding from any potential lesbian posse. I dressed quickly and then ran naked through the trees with my bags over my shoulders. I remained in the forest for several miles not wanting to risk the PCH. A little before the dawn I stepped from the redwoods. There wasn't a car or truck on the coastal highway.

A farmer picked me up around sunrise.

"Whew, smells like you been rutting with hogs." He rolled down the window.

"Something like that." I sniffed at my skin. I was a little ripe. "You didn't see a beat-up pick-up truck back near the outpost."

"No. Someone you know?" The farmer was having second thoughts about picking me up.

"Just two friends. I was waiting for them, but they never showed up." I looked back at the highway. It was empty.

"People get lost easy along Big Sur. You know there's a murderer working the PCH." The farmer glanced at the rearview mirror. He wasn't buying my story.

"I've been warned about him and the other down in LA." There were probably several other killers on the prowl. I settled into the seat and dreamed about bathing in a river farther down the coast.

I reached LA that afternoon and took the bus to Encinitas. AK met me at the Greyhound station. The pianist was driving a brand-new Volvo. They commented that I needed a long shower and once we arrived at the bungalow I took their advice and stayed in the bathroom until my skin was mine again.

His friend was living off a well-funded trust. Her bungalow was set in a flower farm. We drank wine and smoke pot. Dorothy put on Spirit's TWELVE DREAMS OF DOCTOR SARDONICUS.

"It took you a long time to get down here." AK had been at Dorothy's place for over a week. His skin was tanned gold from the beach.

"Hitchhiking on the PCH took longer than I thought," I told them about staying in Santa Cruz without mentioning Maya.

"What about the two women in Big Sur?" AK asked, as he rolled a joint.

"That's another story." I had nothing to hide and told them about the redwoods, Jill and Jackie, the knife, the ax, the sex, and my escape. They both laughed at the wrong parts. "What's so funny?"

"All men want a nymphomaniac. You find two and what do you do?" Dorothy had a nice smile with crooked teeth. The wire-rimmed glasses framed her face with a welcome kindness. Her dress hid any curves on her thin body. "You run away."

"I didn't run away at first, but Jackie and Jill got scary and I don't scare easy." I shivered thinking about Jackie coming after me, but I was safe in this house. Dorothy went to sleep at 10. She had an art lesson in the morning. AK had the guest room and I was sleeping on the porch. I spread my sleeping bag on the floor and took off my clothes in the moonlight.

"You weren't kidding about those women." AK was shocked by the signs of their abuse.

"It was life or death." I sat on the couch and told him about the killers roaming the highways. "It's not a fairy tale out there, but we're safe here. What about you? You said something about Pam coming here."

"She called several days ago saying she was with some hippie, but I haven't heard from her since."

AK had fallen in love with the co-ed on the drive west. Pam was a good girl. The blonde nursing student was no Jill and certainly no Jackie.

"Don't worry, she'll be here." I checked the lock on the screen door. It seemed secure. I pushed a chair against it. I wasn't taking any chance. "I see you in the morning. We can go for a swim. I'm looking forward to that."

"There's a naked beach down the coast." AK entered the bungalow.

"Sounds good to me." I felt safe and fell asleep within minutes.

The next morning we drove Dorothy to her art class and AK headed south to Black's Beach. A path led down the bluff to the narrow beach. Nude sunbathers were scattered on the sand. AK and I dropped out towels and I pulled off my clothes. AK was shy about baring all to the elements. The men nearest us were eying him. They were into men.

“Pretend you're with me.” I examined my scraps and bruises. None of them were permanent.

"I am with you." He held the towel over his privates.

"No, I like I'm your boyfriend." The sun was bright.

"You want me to act gay?" AK was 100% straight. "I don't know how."

"Me neither." I laughed and pointed to the sea. The waves crashed on the beach. Both of us loved the surf. I raced him to the water. He was faster than me, but I was a stronger swimmer. We stayed in the ocean for over an hour.

"Let's take a walk." AK surveyed the beach.There were more men than women and most of them were gay. AK spotted two women sitting under the cliff. A group of men surrounded two women.

"You want to stare at the naked girls?"

"It's not a crime."

"Let's go talk to them."

"It's them." I squinted in the glare and caught my breath. It was Jackie and Jill. Man-eaters. I dropped my head and jumped into the ocean. I swam with the current and came ashore some two hundred feet from them.

"What’s wrong?" AK caught up with me.

"It's the two women from Big Sur."

"I don't know why you ran away." He shook his head.

"Because I got the feeling that they were sucking the life out of me and they'd be nothing left, if I stayed another day." There was such a thing as too much sex.

"How bad could it be?" AK looked over his shoulder.

"YOu saw the scars. It could be worse."

The bare-skinned women checked me out like I was a piece of meat. I cupped my hands over my privates and waddled away to safety.

Later that evening AK related the encounter to Dorothy. She didn't laugh this time.

"You'll regret that at the end of your life. You'll be lying in bed and ask yourself, "Why didn't I have sex with them again."

"No, I won't." I liked living and slept with peace of mind.

1974 was seven years after the Summer of Love. Encinitas wasn't San Francisco and I was simply a hitchhiker on my way home only I wasn't going home yet.

Saturday, October 1, 2022

DOWN THE COAST By Peter Nolan Smith

Skyline Drive crested a hill and the bright California sun crowned the hundreds of identical houses snaking up the streets of Daly City with a golden nimbus. Smoke from sizzling meat floated above countless backyards, as suburban families celebrated Memorial Day with holiday barbecues.

I longed for a seared hamburger and a beer, but tramped along the breakdown lane with my thumb stretched out to oncoming traffic.

Walking was getting me nowhere and the bruises from last night's beating in Reno were getting more painful. I put down my bags at junction of Route 35 and the PCH. Cars slowed to 20mph on curved onramp and the wide merging lane offered a safe place to stop, however over two hundred cars passed me in thirty minutes.

The stares of female drivers convicted me of rape and many of the male motorists glared with a deep-rooted hostility, as if I had betrayed my country.

To the high school teenagers in the passing cars I was another long-haired hippie leaving San Francisco and the children of the Silent Majority shouted out, "Get a hair cut, you fucking hippie."

I answered with the peace sign.

They flipped the bird.

At least no one had thrown any beer bottles.

The next exit was a mile away from here.

Walking on the highway was forbidden by state law. The sun was hot and my canteen was empty. I took off my leather jacket. A few drivers pointed to indicate that they were turning off the road in a short distance. I smiled back at them, wishing they offered me a ride.

Another fifty cars got on the PCH before a late-model Volvo sedan stopped on the shoulder. The young driver opened the door. His austere black suit with a pressed white shirt was out of place in California. It was also too warm to be wearing a tie.

"Excuse the mess." Hundreds of pamphlets were stacked on the rear seat. The overflow spilled onto the floor.

"No worries." I sat with my canvas bag on my lap and my sleeping bag crammed between my legs.

"I'm going to Half Moon Bay." His right hand fought to find first gear, as his feet flopped up and down on the gas and clutch.

"That's fine." The beach town was a short ride down the coast and I joked, "I was starting to think that I was a permanent fixture back there."

"Glad to be of help." The driver didn't laugh, as the Volvo lurched down the PCH. "Where you headed, friend?"

"South." My final destination was Encinitas, a beach town north of San Diego. I had never been there.

"There's a lot of 'south' south of here. My name’s Willard." His papery skin was toasted to a blistered pink by the sun and he paused a second before asking, "Are you a believer?"

"In what?" My lack of belief was a private affair.

"The truth. I'm on a divine mission to bring the word to wicked California."

"You're a Mormon?" It was a good guess. The brochures on the dashboard were blazoned with the letters LDS.

Young Mormon missionaries in similar suits walked the poor neighborhoods of Boston. I had never seen one behind the wheel of a car.

"Yes, I am." The young man admitted with pride, as he narrowly missed the curb.

"How long you been driving?" I buckled my seatbelt.

"About two weeks. Sorry, if I'm scaring you." His cheeks reddened with embarrassment.

"Drive slow. It will give you time to react to other drivers. Do that and and you'll be fine." Any faster than 30 mph was a dangerous speed for him.

"Yes, sir." He downshifted into 2rd and whistled in appreciation of his accomplishment. The radio had been torn out of the dashboard. The LDS regarded love songs as a threat to morality.

"Saving souls in San Francisco must be a challenge."

"It is, it is. Drugs have taken over the Haight-Ashbury, North Beach's strip clubs and massage parlors succors the wicked, and young men have transformed the Castro into Sodom."

"You certainly know that city." Mormon boys were reared without television, radio, or movies and forbidden any contact with young girls. Temptation was rampant back in the Bay City, but Willard smelled like a virgin.

"There are few souls to save in Utah, so you go where the sin is, plus I've been preparing for this mission since I was a boy, so my resolve is steel and my mission is clear." He tapped the pamphlet in my hand and recounted Joseph Smith's meeting his angel in 1823, as if he had been standing next to his prophet. "Morani gave him gold plates inscribed with the true history of the world."

Having resisted the parochial school indoctrination of priests and nuns, I cut short his spiel by saying, "My great-great-great grand uncle was Joseph Smith."

"Are you serious?" The driver examined my face to compare my features with his memory of the Founder's portrait.

"I admit there's not much of a resemblance."

"Very little."

Unlike me Joseph Smith had a long nose, but I had my ancestor's jaw.

"His family hailed from Vermont and ours was from Maine. Winters in both states are long."

"What does winter have to do with Joseph Smith?"

"Long winters give a man time to think."

In Joseph Smith's case too much time and I detoured into my family history in Maine, interrupting the tale with frequent warnings about parked cars and crossing the double yellow line.

Willard was a terrible driver. Even driving slowly wasn't going to save him from sudden death.

"My great-grandfather disappeared from Georgia." My aunt had a single photo of her grandfather. He looked more like Joseph Smith than me. "He might have had gambling debts."

"Gambling is a sin." The sunburnt missionary stamped on the brake with two feet, as we entered Half Moon Bay.

"I know that all too well."

Two nights ago Reno had taught me the dangers of gambling. The small Sierra city had a hard heart.

"Drinking and fornication are also vices of the Devil." He flicked on the left turn signal and pulled off the PCH at Route 92. "This is as far as I go." "Thanks for the ride." I got out of the Volvo and tossed the pamphlet on the seat. It hadn't been written for me.

"Are you really related to Joseph Smith?" Willard had been trained to be tempted any apparition of the Devil.

"People on the road will tell you anything you want to hear in order to get from point A to point B," I answered his question with honesty. "As for my being related to Joseph Smith. It's the truth as far as I know it."

"You don't look a thing like him at all." Willard drove off with gears grinding.

He had been a good listener.

I filled up my canteen at a gas station and walked over to the gravel shoulder. The bluff was covered by sun-blasted scrub brush. A steep cliff descended to the ocean. Huge swells fanned into the crescent bay and surfers in black wetsuits skated the face of monstrous waves.

I could have watched them for hours, but a 1973 Impala sedan with Oregon plates stopped within three minutes. The Zenith TV salesman defended Nixon’s presidency the entire ride to San Gregorio Beach, where he asked if I wanted to join him for a drink at his motel.

"There are some fun girls there, if you know what I mean." The thirty year-old slicked back his hair with Brillcream and smelled of Aqua-Velva.

"I can imagine, but I'll keep heading south." Consorting with prostitutes had never been part of my budget.

"Suit yourself, but getting a ride this late is taking your life in your hands." He pulled over to the curb and revved the engine with impatience, as I got out of the car.

"What do you mean by that?"

"People are crazy out here. Killing crazy. If you change your mind, I'll be in the bar."

The Impala crossed the four lanes and the driver entered the lounge attached to the hotel. His talk about a killer was worrisome, but I stuck out my thumb to catch another ride.

San Gregorio Beach was well out of the suburbs. The golden fields wavered in the coastal wind and the air smelled of the edge of the Earth dropping into the cobalt blue ocean. Traffic on the PCH had been reduced to a car every few minutes. The road was leaving America.

Twenty minutes later a silver Porsche 911 swept onto the shoulder and I jumped out of the way, as the tires sprayed pebbles over my boots. A dust cloud swarmed over the sports coupe and I leaned over to the open window. SOOKIE SOOKIE by Grant Green was playing on the stereo.

"Don't worry, I'm not drunk." The longhaired blonde driver flicked up the lock. Her fawn vest laced over a flat chest and the mini skirt matched the thigh-high boots. It was attire fit for a movie star or a rich man's mistress. "I just like to drive fast. You have a problem with speed?"

"Not as long as we stay on the road."

"I always stay between the lines." The driver bore a remarkable resemblance to someone famous.

"One of my last rides had the opposite problem." I dropped my bags into the narrow back seat and the driver stepped on the gas. "He was a Mormon."

"They get around." The driver expertly shifted through the gears, as we sped past a Pompono State Beach. Strands of silky blonde hair escaped the paisley silk scarf and the driver asked, "I'm headed to Santa Cruz. What about you?"

"Encinitas."

"I have never heard of it."

A sidelong glance helped place the face with a name, but there was no way that 'she' was Peggy Lipton of THE MOD SQUAD.

"It's south of LA and truthfully I hadn't heard anything about it too."

"Anything below of Santa Barbara is too square for me." The driver passed me a burning joint. His fingernails were buffed to a sheen. Every gesture mimed a woman. "Too much oil, too many cars, and cops are everywhere. You ever been there?"

"No, I have a friend waiting for me." The weed tasted of Oaxaca and candy-flavored lipstick. The tip of the joint was tinted pink. California attracted all kinds.

"A friend sounds so mysterious." The driver sighed with the grace of Tallulah Bankhead. The speedometer wavered at 75 and he shut off the radio.

"He's not that kind of friend."

"Do tell, my name's Maya."

"Yesterday was my birthday." I didn't say my name.

"How'd you celebrate it?"

"By making a fool of myself." Jack Kerouac in ON THE ROAD wrote that one of the toughest things about hitchhiking was proving to the driver that they hadn’t made a mistake picking you up and I decided to entertain Maya with my sad tale.

"An evil woman?"

"If only. My friends and I were driving across Nevada. I gambled at every town and was up $1000 by Reno. I won a few more hands and then a beautiful waitress in a miniskirt served me a drink. Her name was Kim. It was the first of many."

"I can guess the ending."

"I vaguely remember begging my friend for money and a beating by the hotel security then waking this morning next to the Truckee River. My pockets were empty and I thought that Reno had stolen my birthday."

"Casinos are very good at emptying your your pockets."

"Thankfully my friend had been lying. When we dropped off the drive-away car in Lodi, my friend returned my money."

"So you weren't broke?" Maya laughed at this reversal of fortune.

"Yes." I hadn't thought that the story was funny this morning.

"You poor baby." Maya brushed away a strand of hair. "But you were right. Your friend is really a friend. He could have told you that he had given you the money and kept it for himself?"

"AK isn't like that." I had been friends with the New Yorker for the past year. Our only fight had been about the Beatles. I hated HEY JUDE. "It's good having good friends." The syllables purred from Maya's throat with a Marlene Dietrich's rasp. "How long were you in San Francisco?"

"Less than an hour. A gang of muggers attacked me in Golden Gate Park. They wanted my money as much as the casino in Reno."

"The city was so cool before the Summer of Love. The hippies, diggers, freaks, Mexicans, and blacks were one big happy family, but the family grew too big in 1967. I was beaten up twice for who I am. Anyone who could flee the city left for the country. I made it as far as Santa Cruz." Maya shifted into top gear south of Pescadero.

The Porsche topped a 100 on the straightaway, then swiftly decelerated to the speed limit coming over a hill. A CHiP's cruiser was parked behind a tree on the other side.

"That officer is looking to ruin some family's holiday for driving 60. They never bother me anymore. We're all old friends." Maya beeped the horn and flashed the highbeams to warn oncoming cars. "Where you crashing tonight?"

"I was going to sleep in the redwoods." There wasn't much light left in the day.

"That's not such a good idea. Firstly it's about an hour away from here and more importantly young men and women have been murdered up and down the coast."

"My last ride said something about it."

"I don't like being on the road late at night and I'm driving, but it's the drivers doing the murders. Hitchhikers are the victims." Maya glanced at my crotch. "You can stay with me. I have a spare room, steak in the fridge and wine too. You're not afraid of me, are you?"

"No, I'm more curious than scared."

My nights dancing at the 1270 Club in Boston had cured my fear of queers. The boys at that bar liked straight men. Shemales like Maya hung out at Boston's Other Side. The glamorous trannies were more female than the fag hags trying to save a homo for the heterosexual cause.

"Like that movie I AM CURIOUS YELLOW. Some people say I resemble the actress."

"They must be blind. You're much prettier."

"No one has ever called me pretty. Sexy, beautiful, yes, pretty no."

"I AM CURIOUS YELLOW was banned in Boston, but I prefer hard-core films.”

"You're getting better and better."

We discussed about porno films of the early 70s for the rest of the drive to Santa Cruz. Maya was a fan of MISTY BEETHOVEN, while I preferred BEHIND THE GREEN DOOR. Both of us were critical of the smash hit DEEP THROAT. "The actors were so hairy." Maya shivered in his bucket seat. "You're not hairy, are you?" "Only my legs." I wouldn't have had this conversation with any of my friends, but on the road I was a stranger passing through town like an extra in a porno movie. "A regular satyr." Maya smiled with pleasure.

"I'm a little higher up the divinity chart."

"I've never met a demi-god."

"I never claimed divinity." I was a longtime atheist.

"How humble."

"I'm an expert at humility."

"How so?"

"It's a long story."

"Why don't you stay the night and tell me?"

"Sure why not?"

Night was closing on the coast. Maya stepped on the gas. We entered Santa Cruz with the last rays of the day's sun. The beach was bordered by a vintage amusement park. The pleasant main street thrived with counterculture cafes and surf shops. The 60s were not forgotten here.

"It's a time warp from the old and the new," Maya spoke with pride about her adopted community. She waved to several pedestrians. They smiled upon seeing her.

"Friendly."

"Anyplace is friendly after San Francisco."

The Porsche charged uphill to a dirt path and braked before a modern wooden house surrounded by a grove of redwoods. A thin stream ran down from the mountains. A light breeze tickled the wind chimes on the porch.

Maya opened the front door and flicked on the lights. The living room's decor crossbred the West Coast with Asia. Some of the oriental furniture dated back to the last century. Maya had money.

I was polite enough to not ask the source.

"The guest room is in the back." Maya lit candles scented with cinnamon. "Sorry, I have no TV. I left the boob tube behind in San Francisco. Here I watch the sky and the stars."

"I'm good with no TV. Mind if I pick out a record?" I put down my bags and eyed her collection of jazz, soul, classical, and rock stacked next to Marantz 2330b receiver, Thorens TD-165 turntable, Thorens TD-126 turntable, Frazier Model Seven speakers, and Akai GX-266D reel to reel tape deck. The system was state of the art.

Maya uncorked a bottle of wine and filled two glasses. The wine was French. We clinked glasses. The Pailliac tasted of Francoise Hardy, the Yeh-Yeh singer. I wouldn't have expected anything else from 1966.

"As long as it's not WALK ON THE WILD SIDE." Maya's sigh betrayed having heard Lou Reed's tribute to hustlers and queens too many times in too many places.

"And no LOLA." The Kinks' song had been a 1970 huge hit on AM radio.

"Most definitely not." A shadow of anger tinted Maya's sad voice. "You know anything about transsexuals?"

"My mother had been expecting a girl, so she bought an entire pink wardrobe for a baby girl. I came instead. My father is from Maine and he didn't see the sense of having to buy a new set of clothing, so for the first six months of my life, I was a girl."

Maya threw back her head with a laugh

"You had it easy. By the time I was three, I hated boy's clothing and I had no sisters. Only three older brothers. I was expected to wear their hand-me-downs. I hated the colors. The roughness of the material. One day I stole my cousin's Barbie and Ken dolls and dressed up Ken in her clothes." Maya sipped her wine with a sad smile. "My mother cried for days. My father was a Detroit cop. He tried to change the way I felt; beatings, therapy, abandonment, but nothing could alter who I was, so I ran away to San Francisco at the age of 14. I never went back home."

"As a young boy all I knew about queens was from what I read in LAST EXIT TO BROOKLYN." Hubert Selby Jr.,'s novel was a cult classic in the 60s. I read it in hiding. My mother was a good Catholic. The only men allowed to wear a dress in her faith were the priests.

"I loved that book, mostly because Georgette's tough time with Vinnie wasn't so far from the truth. As much as straight America hates queers, they despise transsexuals even worse. We threaten the John Wayne in every man."

"It must have been a hard life." The queens at Boston's Other Side begged, borrowed, and stole to support their hormone treatments.

"I had it better than most. I was the star at a bar in the Barbary Coast, but I still had to do things about which I'm not happy about even to this day. Luckily a rich man fell in love with me. He offered me another world and here I am, but enough with the sad stories. Chose a happy record."

A large photo of Maya hung on the wall. She was dressed as a blonde go-go girl. She had been lucky to get out of that scene before it was too late to get out.

"How about Marvin Gaye?" I picked out WHAT'S GOING ON. Marvin Gaye had a huge hit with it in 1971.

"I saw him in Oakland this year. I could barely hear him over the shrieks of his fans. He sang a thirty-minute version of WHAT'S GOING ON. Marvin drove the women crazy." Maya opened a jar and handed me a pill. It was a Quaalude.

"Are you planning to leave soon?" She kicked off the high heels. The polish on his toenails matched his fingernails. I liked that.

"No." I cued up the title track and sat on the other end of the sofa. I had the entire summer ahead of me.

"Then take off your jacket and make yourself comfortable." Maya lay on the Chinese couch like an opium smoker awaiting their pipe.

"Thanks."

"Have you done these before?" Maya screwed back on the lid and shook out a familiar white pill. "My high school friend worked at a drug store. Donnie stole pills for our parties. Few of us smoked pot. Weed couldn't compare with downers and uppers and nothing was better than a 'lude." I downed the muscle-relaxer with a gulp of wine. I wasn't thinking of Francoise Hardy

"High school boys and Quaaludes?"

"Catholic boys in uniforms." I had attended an all-boys school outside Boston.

"Stop it, you're driving me crazy." Maya pointed to a hallway. "That's your room. You can even have a shower. I promise I won't watch."

"I'll wash the dust off my flesh."

"Not too much. I love the smell of retarred road.

I put my bags in the small guest room. A clean white towel lay on the single bed, as if Maya had been expecting company. I stripped off my jeans and tee-shirt and crossed the narrow corridor to shower in the bathroom. Maya had changed the record to SOMETHING ELSE by Miles Davis.

I spent a minute washing America from my skin and toweled myself dry before returning to the guest room. My clothes were folded on a chair and a black silk robe hung over the chair. Maya was offering a choice and I entered the living room in the robe.

Logs burned in the fireplace.

"I knew it was your size." Maya stood by the stereo. Without the high heels his green eyes met mine. Maya touched my back. It had been months since anyone had caressed my skin.

"Would you like some cocaine?" Four white lines stretched across a mirror.

"Why stop now?" I huffed two lines and sat back on the sofa, expecting Maya to make a move, instead the blonde picked out an album with a familiar cover.

"You know it?"

“Dave Brubeck. 1950s. Paul Desmond's TAKE FIVE."

"So you're cooler than you look."

"Only a little."

We drank wine and traded offerings of music. I put on John Coltrane's MY FAVORITE THINGS, Maya followed with Cannonball Adderly's SOMETHIN’ ELSE, which I trumped with GETTING AROUND by Dexter Gordon. We had steaks and rice for dinner. The second bottle of wine went slower than the first. The couch was big enough for two.

The night filled in the trees and shadows crawled from the corners of the living room. In the glow of the embers she was Peggy Lipton.

"Thank you for staying."

"I really didn't have anywhere to go."

"Was that the only reason?"

"Like I said I was curious." The first kiss was strange. Maya wasn't neither a man nor a woman. She was something else.

"You said that I was pretty before." Maya's hand was soft on my chest. "Did you mean it?"

"No, I should have said that you were beautiful." I undid the bra. Maya's chest was as flat as the girl on the cover of BLIND FAITH's first LP and her white skin was smooth as ice.

"It's not easy being me, because being me depends on being something most people think I'm not." Maya kept on her silk panties.

"It's not easy being me either." I had my share of problems. Maya was not one of them. "But here no one can say anything against you. No one will attack you for being you. Not with me here."

"I can be anything for you." Maya smelled of an expensive French perfume.

"Just be you for right now."

"Can you pretend that I'm a woman?" Maya's eyes shut, making a wish.

"I don't have to pretend, but I want you to be you too." I pulled Maya close. Neither of us wanted to be anywhere, but here.

In the morning we woke in bed covered by sheets. The sun peeked through the drawn curtains. Maya lay naked next to me.

1974 was seven years after the Summer of Love. Our side had stopped the War in Vietnam. Sexual freedom was our reward.

I had Maya more than twice that day and once in the evening. We didn't leave the house. The holiday weekend was turning into a honeymoon. Nothing so good lasted forever. I had learned that playing Blackjack in Reno.

On the fourth morning the telephone rang. Maya answered with a finger raised to his lips. I tried to be discreet, but I heard all her conversation. The man on the other end was her lover. He was coming to visit this afternoon.

I rose off the couch and went to the guest room. I dressed in my clothes for the first time in days and returned to the living room with my bags in hand.

"Are you going?" Maya hung up the phone. The silk robe slipped off his right shoulder. His skin was bruised my hands. We had had a good time. "You're more than welcome to stay."

"I know, but your friend might think otherwise, besides I have to get to Encinitas." AK and I had not specified a date, but if I didn’t go now, there was a danger that I would never go.

"Yes, we all have friends." The sentence was tinged with jealousy. "You're not angry, are you?"

"Angry for what?" For the last few days we had been man and woman. One phone call had broken the magic of that spell. Once more I was straight and Maya was a man. "It was good to meet you."

"Is that all?" Maya wanted more and love was a madness not magic.

"Maybe a little more, but it's time for me to go."

"Now?" Maya opened the robe.

"Not just yet." I pulled Maya into the bedroom.

An hour later we were driving down the PCH. Maya wanted to drop me in Monterey. He was wearing a tan suede vest cinched tight by laces and matching suede pants. Mirrored sunglasses covered his eyes.

In this light Peggy Lipton was not behind the wheel.

"I could pay for you to stay in a motel for a few days and pick you up then." Maya was having a hard time letting go.

"I'm heading south."

"Will you come this way again?" Maya asked, as the Porsche crossed the Moss Landing Bridge.

"I don’t know." I had no plans for my future.

We didn't speak for several miles, as the PCH coasted along the beach and then swept into Monterey.

"Do you mind dropping me by the docks? I read Steinbeck's CANNERY ROW and SWEET THURSDAY. Those books about happy-go-lucky bums during the Great Depression were a light out of the tunnel and I wanted to stand in the tidal pools the same as the novel's hero Doc.

"I loved those books." We shared much in common. A man in her life wasn't one of them.

Maya pulled off Route 1 and drove down to the piers. The canneries were shuttered by planks of wood and only a few fishing ships were moored in port. Tourists admired the sports car and whispered to each other. They thought Maya was someone famous.

"I guess this is the end." Maya hurriedly wrote down a phone number. "You come this way anytime. You call me."

"It's a promise." I stuck the paper in my leather jacket.

"Here's two joints and $20. Have lunch on me."

"Thanks." I put the bill and the joints in the same pocket as Maya's number.

"You know you never told me your name." Maya sounded used to that.

"It isn't Steve."

"Not Steve. I like it. You be careful about who picks you up. Not everyone is as nice as me.

"I know that." There were murderers on the road. Maya was not one of them.

I got out of the car and tapped the Porsche's warm metal hood. The horn beeped once and the tires screeched out of the parking lot. The 911 disappeared within seconds.

I was once more alone and alone I was once more myself.

A fishing boat was putting out to sea. Seagulls glided over its wake. Seals lazed on the kelp beds. The perfume on my skin weakened in the fresh ocean air. I hefted my bags over my shoulder. The ache from the Reno beating was gone and I walked along the harbor.

Big Sur was less than thirty miles away.

FOTO by Bobby Busnach