Sunday, August 31, 2008

Angles of Angels

click on image to enlarge

Steve Tyler of the group Arrowsmith once opined that he chose the groupies after the show by asking them to put their legs together and if he could put his hand between their upper thighs than he was on.

I think this blonde might have passed his scrutiny.

The four stages of life

Click in image to enlarge

Dead Sea Scrolls online

Israel will forge forward with plans to put images of the nearly 2000 year old Dead Sea Scrolls on the Internet for scholars to study the ancient biblical text. None of the fragments have any mention of the contract between Yahweh and the Zionists for the 20th Century annexation of Palestine, but who knows some day maybe someone will find such a document.

The lost lease of Israel.

Then no one could dispute their claim to the Holy Land.

North to Alaska

Barely 12 hours after the close of the Democratic convention John McCain surprised political pundits with choice of Sarah Palin, the 44 year-old governor of Alaska, as his running mate for the 2008 November election. No Romney, no Liebeman, no GW Bush. A woman called 'tough as nails' by that intellectual harridan Camille Paglia. Conservative Rush Limbaugh piled on the praise by crowing, “We’re the ones with a babe on the ticket”

'Tough as nails' or 'a babe' or maybe both.

Governor Palin offers the GOP access to disgruntled Hillary fans while courting the religious right thanks to the her strong Pentecostal leanings. Let's energize the base with a gun-toting, pro-life, anti-corruption mother of five and she loves McCain's 'Drill now' threat to the north slope of Alaska, but she's not a square like the Old Geezer. She admits to smoking pot and was once runner-up for the 1984 Miss Alaska contest.

“They made us line up in bathing suits and turn our backs so the male judges could look at our butts. I couldn’t believe it."

Her husband is part Yupik Eskimo and a four-time champion of the 2,000-mile Iron Dog snowmobile race.


For the right wing that is.

And she has to be sexier than John McCain in a bathing suit.

Even after having five kids.

Bring it on, you Russkies

The Ire of Cindy

Cindi McCain was offended by Barack Obama's acceptance speech.

"My father came from nothing to make his fortune in America," she told ABC News without addressing the fact that her father, Kemper Marley, made his money thanks to mob connections with Meyer Lansky and Gus Greenbaum.

Same as the Kennedys and several other proud American families.

Actually maybe more than several.


Get Out of Town

Canal Street New Orleans 1904

Hurricane Gustav has gathered strength over Cuba and this category-4 storm is barreling across the Caribbean in the direction of disaster hub, New Orleans. The local, state, and federal governments have learned the lesson of Katrina well. In order to avoid the calamity of 2005 residents have been ordered to flee the Crescent City. 700 buses are on hand to evacuate the populace, but police have been hitting the streets to tell residents that the city will not open up the Superbowl, which housed over 30,000 survivors in the aftermath of Katrina.

You're on your own.

Don't panic.

Flee with dignity.

We are all Georgians.

Saturday, August 30, 2008

The End of Soi 6

Soi 6 might be in danger of extinction as the city hall has opened a new community hall to provide the nearby community with a hall to hold civic meetings. Monks blessed the building, which had stood empty for several years. The girls from the bars lining that salacious street were respectful of the event. The farangs less so. Several tried to barfine the guests. The police took them away for a lesson in manners.

Loy Krathong

November 12 is Loy Krathong.

Pattaya City is gearing up for the annual water festival by conducting street sweeps of undesirables. The police are on the look-out for miscreants in order to clean up the coastal city's image for the traditional festival. Last year they banned fireworks and instituted shore patrols to prevent any krathongs or offerings from entering the sea. Water worship was relegated to the reservoir. I stayed in Jomtien and made love to my mistress.

We had a baby boy from that night's union.

Chok dee.

Revolution So What?

The PAD have stormed the government house and blockaded regional airports. PM Samak has vowed to resist these attempts to oust him from power. Thais are concerned this confrontation could lead to revolution, however foreign tourists are taking events in stride.

Gimme a beer.

Friday, August 29, 2008

Google Earth Blackouts

Google Earth has transformed the globe to safeguard places such as the White House, The U.S. Capitol, and Dick Cheney's House. A multitude of military installations are also deleted from the website along with the The Royal Stables in The Hague, Netherlands as well as the Minnestoa suburb of North Oaks, who complained to Gioogle about the unauthorized trespass on their privacy. Iran adn the Sudan are blank spaces on the world.

Stragnely Watchic Pond where I'm vacation for LAbor Day is terra igcognita according to Google Earth.

I'm in deep hiding from the eyes in the sky that pry.

Then again so is the actor's William Hurt's Home outside of Paris.

Maybe he's a nudist.

Labor Day Travel

My good friend Alan Vaughan called from Gary, Indiana. He was driving to Florida. I told him I was leaving for New England. We hadn’t seen each other in a good 6 or 7 years.

“How you getting north?” He was ready to suggest an airline.

“I’m hitchhiking on I-95. I figure it will take 3-4 days.” I had a ticket from West Palm Beach to Boston, but preferred to mythize a prosaic economy-class voyage. “I’m broke so that’s the only way I can get there.”

“You’re kidding?” He was incredulous. “I haven’t seen a hitchhiker the entire trip from the Upper Peninsula.”

“Not one.”

“Not one.”

“Well, I’ll be a blast from the blast.”

I hung up and then called the next day from the airport saying I was in Jacksonville. The next day from Dillon South Carolina. This morning in Roanoke Virginia.

I’m making real good time.

By the way I’m already drinking coffee on Watchic Pond in Standish Maine.

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When Hell Freezes Over

In 1974 my good friend Andy Kornfeld and I hitchhiked from LA to Boston. Getting rides was easy until we reached the black hole of Victorville. Scores of hippies lined the on-ramp. Some had been waiting a day. I suggested to Andy that we take a bus to Needles, a desert town to the east. We walked to the bus station and got on an air-conditioned bus. The trip lasted about an hour. We exited from the bus into what I thought was the exhaust of another vehicle. The bus station parking lot was empty. The blast of heat was from the sun-dazed air. Across the street a giant thermometer read 125F and that temperature was in the shade. We hurried to the nearest Dairy Queen and cooled down our bodies with frozen shakes, then walked to the highway under the savage sun. Luckily an elderly couple picked us up within minutes. They were heading for the Arizona stateline. That was the most intense heat that I have experienced on this earth.

I had feel like a snowfall in hell.

But not Hell is freezing over with the construction of an artificial ski slopes in the Arab Emirates.

140 outside and 28 inside.

And all paid for my crazy westerners driving SUVs.

A world turned upside down thanks to America's addiction to oil.

Drill now.

Drill always.

That is the message of the old GOP.

Thailand on Fire

The PAD or People's Alliance for Democracy has challenged PM Samak's government with several mass demonstrations as well as an attempted take over of the NBT communications center. The police have reacted with calm force, although most farangs are once more siding with the fascist rules of law and order judging from the angry entries on several expat forums.

At least one group of people have kept their humor while everyone else is losing theirs.

NOT THE NATION has another take of the present crisis.


World Media Insists All of Thailand On Fire, All Thais Dead

BANGKOK - Despite the relative calm following PAD intrusions into several government offices, the world media continue to claim that the country has collapsed into anarchy and chaos. As ordinary Thais go to their daily jobs and lives, The New York Times writes that the “government has been shut down and social order revoked by an organized army of over a million protesters.” Even though only three schools near the Government House have suspended classes, CNN has placed all Thailand-related stories under a flaming banner reading “Civil War in Siam,” with story leaders describing city-wide power outages, roving mobs of homicidal anarchists, and rumors of an inevitable military intervention by “UN peacekeepers.” Even with the actual death toll at 0 and the number of severely injured at 0, FOX NEWS continues to stand by its story that Parliament was burned to death in its chambers, Communists are fighting monks in running street battles using tactical nuclear weapons, and every Thai child is being raped by a foreign pedophile who supports Barack Obama.

Thursday, August 28, 2008

Why we fight?

America's Shame

No one in America wants to talk about why Barack Obama remains tied with John McCain in the polls.

They say it's because of his inexperience, lack of history, or trust.

The truth is that 50% of white American men will vote the race card.

They're good at sports, but not as commander in chief.

In fact we'd rather an old dude with a scrawny wife as president, because he's a Caucasian and we know what black men do with white women.

Sorry Obama.

Just the way they feel.

But not me. I'm voting for the n-word.

Checker clown wants to play chess

It's a day away from Labor Day in the USA and this morning a US Coast Guard cutter, the Dallas, pulled into the Georgian port Batumi to offload 34 tons of humanitarian aid, as GW Bush attempts to counter Russia's incursions into the trans-Causascus region. A fragile ceasefire holds in the area, although a top Russian admiral has deemed the use of a military vessel to deliver help to the beleaguered ex-Soviet republic as 'devilish'.

Checkers versus Chess.

The BBQ wit of GW Bush versus the KGB-honed skills of V Putin.

And John McCain is still crowing, "We are all Georgians."

Fuck that.

I'm an American.

Monday, August 25, 2008

Chek Bin Kap

Fabo and I were sitting in the garden of the Welkome Inn. He was drinking Heineken and I was supping a cold San Miquel Lite. Unexpectedly two unordered bottles arrived at the table. The waitress explained that a girl had received ten million Zaire Francs from a customer and rung the bell for the entire bar. Drinks for everyone.

Neither of us were financiers, however Zaire’s currency had to be subject to inflation. Fabo took out his cell and called a friend who pumped oil in Angola. After a quick conversation Fabo laughed hard and I asked, “How much?”

“62 baht per million.”

600 baht for a short-time trip to heaven was the asking price at the Welkom.

“We should warn her before she thinks she is the reincarnation of Mrs. Thaksin.”

“Let her have her moment of glory.” Fabo drank his new beer. “It tastes good cold.”

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And then the fight started

AND THEN THE FIGHT STARTED... When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive... so, I took her to a gas station... And then the fight started.... ************************************************************************
My wife and I were sitting at a table at my high school reunion, and I kept staring at a drunken lady swigging her drink as she sat alone at a nearby table. My wife asked, 'Do you know her?''Yes,' I sighed, 'She's my old girlfriend. I understand she took to drinking right after we split up those many years ago, and I hear she hasn't been sober since.' 'My God!' says my wife, 'who would think a person could go on celebrating that long?' And then the fight started...

*********************************************************************** I rear-ended a car this morning. So we parked alongside the road and the other driver got out of his car. You know how sometimes you just get soooo stressed and little things just seem funny? Yeah, well I couldn't believe it... he was a DWARF!!! He stormed over to my car, looked up at me, and shouted, 'I AM NOT HAPPY!!!' So, I looked down at him and said, 'Well, then which one are you?' And then the fight started...

The Son of a Friend

The PAD (People's Alliance for Democracy) has announced a march on Bangkok to blockade the offices of the Prime Minister. This embargo is aimed at ousting Samak and forcing a new election without the interference of the deposed PM Thaksin, now residing in the UK. The opposition has also mounted a campaign against the present PM through the auspices of the National Counter Corruption Commission on Sunday, which gave Samak 15 days to explain how the disreputable son of a political ally wormed his way onto the lists of the Royal Thai Army.

Supposedly the Army had refused Chalerm Yubamrung's prodigal son Duang a position of the grounds he was unqualified for a military post. Duang had been discharged from the Army after his involvement in a Bangkok brawl which culminated with the murder of a celebrated police officer. He went AWOL from Thailand until witnesses suffered a collective amnesia resulting in his acquittal on all charges.

An officer and a gentleman?

No in the eyes of the Army, however Samak signed his appointment papers without question and now says it was routine, although he has also called upon Mr Chalerm to the media the truth.

"I'm in trouble after allowing your son to rejoin the military."

After all Samak was only doing his job.

Sunday, August 24, 2008

Mayor of Pattaya

The other day I ate a spicy catfish salad. Yam pla muk foo. It didn't agree with my stomach and my sleep that night was interrupted by a disturbing dream. Somehow after a drunken night on Walking Street, I had been appointed mayor of Pattaya.

I was in the city hall. Everyone was waiting for my decisions.

I had all the power.

My first choice was to order a tub of ice water.

Clap. There it was. This was better than having three wishes from a genii. I could change anything.

First thing I commanded the police not to interrupt any naked shows at the go-gos. After all I'm a firm believer in the arts.

Second to make up for this loss of income I directed the officers to stop the Chinese buses from rolling down the Beach Road. Each one could be fined 1000 baht, unless they parked at officially sanctioned areas to be served by baht buses.

Thirdly any westerners complaining about Thais would have to wear a clown suit for a day. This lesson in humility would teach them something about having a sense of humor.

Fourth institute frequent flier miles for bar fining go-go girls. Every 10th time you get one without having to pay the mama-san.

Fifth ban wigs and sweep-overs for farangs as well as wife-beater tee shirts.

The crowd in the city hall was looking rebellious and out right dangerous when I announced that 7/11 would have to serve free beer from 1pm-4pm every afternoon. The angry mob of 7/11 owners barged into my office to dethrone me and I woke up, my reign over before I could really get going on a plan to build a trolley line electrified by the steroid juice monkey exercising at the gyms.

My wife asked what I was mumbling about, suspicious I was cheating on her in my dreams.

When I explained my dream, she said I was out of my mind, but then said, "You not think of me."


"Why didn't you ask for free beauty shop?"

She was right. I was only thinking about myself, but then power corrupts even the best of me and I'm far from perfect.

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Discretion or wí-jaan-ná-yaan

The husband is always the last to know and that seems the case in Pattaya too.

No one tells the husband.

The wife knows because Thai women have a secret drum language which reveals where and with whom you've been three seconds after the fact.

Farangs are left to their own devices.

A friend of mine saw another mate's girlfriend entering a hotel with a farang. There was no mistaking the purpose. He told his mate about what he had see. When the mate confronted the girlfriend, she said that his friend had asked to sleep with her. Hearing her refusal she said the friend got very mad. The mate chose to leave the girlfriend and never spoke to his friend again.

Bottom line.

If you see your friend's wife with another man, best to keep your mouth shut.

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Free Love ala Thai

was in my local having a cup of tea. It was the afternoon and my kidneys were fragile after last weekend’s industrial drinking. Stanley came down and said, “Gu’day.”

I like seeing Stanley at the bar, since he’s 59 and makes me feel young. His age doesn’t keep him from getting into trouble. There was nothing on the TV and I asked him where his girlfriend was. This opening is always good for a laugh.

“Told her to piss off.” He was looking equally fragile and ordered a tea.

“What for?” I’d heard a dozen reasons over the past month. Girls don’t last too long with Stanley.

“Went to Koh Lann yesterday. The sheila brought a friend. I paid for the boat, food, and did they eat. Like Ethiopian orphans. At the end of the trip they asked for me to barfine them.”

“200 baht?” it the going price for a bar girl.

‘Yeah, but I only wanted the one.”

“What time was it?”


“That’s why. they were late for work.”


“So if they’re late for work they get fined by the boss.”

“That really so.”

“Yep.” I ran down the situation of life as a bar girl. “The women are paid 2000-5000/month. They get two free days a month. Not weekends or holidays. If they want to take a day off it costs them 200-300 baht.”

“You’re joking?”

No, and some places stipulate that they have to go with a man four to 10 times a month or pay fine for each missing the quota. That goes for drinks to customers too.”

“You’re shitting me.” Stanley had been here many times, yet never thought about the price structure of the bar workers.

“Hey, they’re a thousand times better than working a brothel. That’s a prison in comparison to the bars.” I finished my tea. “So your girl was only trying to avoid a fine. Same as you.”

“I’ll go straighten it out. I’m a cunt. But not a bad cunt.”

“Good man.” Stanley wasn’t a good man. Neither am I, but I try and do a little bad as possible. That way I’m not going to get beaten by an irate bar girl in the middle of the street.

They wear those high heels for more vicious reasons than making them two inches taller.

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Let No Good Deed Go Unpunished

This poor taxi driver made the classic mistake of helping a woman in distress. He witnessed a motorcycle snatch-and-grab and chased the two culprits in his taxi, driving them off the road. A witness handed the female victim her chain and when the police arrived on the scene, the officers could find no one to corroborate the driver's story. The woman fled the scene of the accident as well. The police charged the man with vehicular mayhem

Let no deed go unpunished.

2008 Beijing Olympics That's all folks

The 2008 Beijing Olympics have completed all their events. The closing ceremony has been televised to the world. The athletes have gone home. TV and sports commentators have called the games a success for China. The facilities, the presentations, and its # 1 placement in gold medals have shown that the Celestial Kingdom has recovered from the invasion of the West.

China is China once again and the little emperors are heirs to the fortune of the world's most dynamic economy. Foreign politicians are concerned that the progress comes at the expense of freedom, however feed the stomachs and the mind will follow the Politburo's brainwashing.

China is great.

12 years ago I was in Dali, Yunnan. Three ex-Red Guards were extolling the power of China.

"You westerners fear the power of China."

"No, we fear your chaos." Chinese love order more than anything, knowing even 50 million crazy Chinese can cause havoc and the Chinese leaders countenanced no displays of dissent during the Games. The NBC TV commentators never mentioned Tibet. No one said anything about the imprisoned victims of the 2008 earthquake or the legions of Falun Gong supporters in the state-run gulags. They wouldn't segue with SUV commercials.

I watched very little of the Olympics.

Synchronized swimming and little else.

I love those girls' frozen smiles.

Now Beijing can go back to normal.

Bring on the smog.


China 51 21 28 100
United States 36 38 36 110
Russia 23 21 28 72
Britain 19 13 15 47
Germany 16 10 15 41

Saturday, August 23, 2008

Penis Envy

Nick Hornby explains in HIGH FIDELITY the reason for men not engaging in foreplay with women by writing that during our teen years girls tell us not to touch them on their breasts or dream of going for 3rd base, but modern times have driven men to extremes, so that now foreplay has to involved sex toys to stimulate a male libido saturated by a flood tide of porno.

My friend in Palm Beach told on a blind date on which the man said, "I only believe in dildos on the first time."

The girls at the Welkom Inn on Soi 2 satisfied every man's dream on dildo foreplay in their backrooms, but not every female is so accommodating as an Italian tourist found out, when he tried to force a religious wooden penis into a girl's mouth at a Pattaya hotel. She was outraged and called the police who arrested the naive Italian for sacrilege.

The Thais call these penis amulets 'palad khik' or honorable surrogate penis and they are not sexual tools, but are worn by Thai men on a string around their hips to avoid any danger to their penises.

The Italian was not interested in this pruposes and resisted arrest. The bemused police put the heretic in the Soi 9 cells for assault with a religious object. He was released in the morning after a promise to behave.

His 'palad khik' was confiscated for purification.

Pepper and Salt

Bob Culp and Bill Cosby in I SPY. Paul McCartney and Michael Jackson singing SALT AND PEPPER. Now the Democratic Party has offered the voters the first black/white ticket in the history of America, as Obama selects Joe Biden for his running mate in the November election. Personally I was pulling for Bill Richardson, but he freaked out everyone with that Zapata beard, but I'm glad the 'B-word' wasn't placed a heartbeat from the presidency.

McCain's campaign went into an instant attack mode saying that even Joe Biden doesn't consider "Barack Obama is not ready to be president."

The Old Dude really knows how to ride the Low Road.

It's Good to be the King

The life of a king has its ups and downs. Louis XVI at Place de Concorde. Bad. Same for Nicholas II in a small Ural town. Bad. But normally it's good to be the king and Forbes magazine ranked the ruling monarchs according to wealth. The Thai Foreign Ministry was quick to deny the report that His Majesty the King as the world's richest monarch with an estimated fortune of US$35 billion, although the magazine noted that 2008 was a bonus year for the rulers, whose assets increased from $93 billion to $131 billion mostly thanks to the oil riches of the Middle East and Asia dominate the list.

The rest of the list included Sheik Khalifa, 60, the head of the United Arab Emirates with $23 billion, Saudi Arabia's King Abdullah bin Abdul Aziz, 84 with $21 billion, Sultan Haji Hassanal Bolkiah of Brunei lost a position despite his $20 billion, and fifth came Sheikh Mohammed bin Rashid of Dubai, with $18 billion.

All that money and you can't go out and have a beer without someone wanting something from you.

Still it is good to be the King.

Give Us the Cash

"Show me the money." was the hit line from the film JERRY MCGUIRE.

No bank robber ever hit a bank and said, "Show me the money."

They knew what money looks like and so does the Thai Revenue Department, which wants nearly 12 billion baht from Thaksin's frozen accounts. That sum coupled with the
76 billion baht frozen following the Sept 19, 2006 coup comes to 88 billion baht. The bank holding the funds has already deposited almost 40,000,000,000 baht with the government agency, but kept the rest on its books for the weekend, earning nearly 3 million baht on the float or interest.

The transfer of 12 billion baht is good news for the Thaksin children who were holding the money after the sale of Shin Corp. otherwise they would have been liable for possible prosecution of tax evasion, although once a finance panel rules on whether the Thaksins had legally been gifted the money, it could reverse course and go back to the kids.

It's all up to the courts, but 12 billion is a lot of money in any language.

Gimme the money.

That's the language of bank robbers.

Legal or illegal.

Christianity versus Islam

The New Black is the Old Black

Bare for America

Friday, August 22, 2008

Line of Duty

Beaumont Texas has a problem with sex. Women sell their bodies to men. They sell their bodies in bars and massage parlors. Faced with this wave of wantonness the Beaumont Police organized an undercover squad of dedicated men. Their job. root out vice out of this East Texas city. The officer were tutored in the best tactics to ensnare prostitutes, but for many of them the flesh was too willing. Several were fired for overstepping the bounds of decency in their pursuit of justice. One policeman fought back for his honor, since he says that this commanding officer gave him the green light to have sex with these felonettes.

The officer in question submitted to manual, oral, and full penetration sex with women at two 'spas'.

When asked by the city DA if he enjoyed the sex, the officer shook his head.

"If you are asking if I had an orgasm, yes. It was a job, sir. I didn't have pleasure doing this. I was paid to do it."

So in some ways he was a prostitute too.

The DA asked if the officer was faithful to his wife.

"I am true to my wife, period."

This man obviously suffered duress during duty.

I'm on his side. Bad sex is bad sex.

Also no one was arrested during the sting operation.

Another job well done.

This failure might have had something to do with their protective gear during the visits to these 'spas'.

2008 the magic of the Beijing Olympics

Sexy 1961

Sophie Loren 1961

Crime Doesn't Pay Honesty Pays Worse

When I came to Asia, Americans always asked if I was afraid of theft.

"No." My answer was derived from the fact that I usually lose cameras, telephones, and wallets before a thief can steal them and the Thai people have demonstrate their honest streak by my recovering the mislaid items at restaurants, hotels, and beach chairs.

Supposedly according to Thai law the finder is due a reward. I've heard as much as 50%, but most of the time they want nothing, already thankful for accomplished good. I usually give 10%.

This week the Pattaya Mail reported that a baht-bus driver found a bag with 500,000 baht in cash and goods. He returned the bag to three Omani men who gave him a 2000 baht reward. In many cases the finder wants nothing. Jamie called them 'kee-neo'.

"Better than nothing."

The driver said he was happy giving a good name to his city of Pattaya.

A good man gets his rewards in his heart.

499 Holy Men against the Sea

King Canute reputedly attempted to halt the tide. Upon his failure the English king said, "Let all men know how empty and worthless is the power of kings, for there is none worthy of the name, but He whom heaven, earth, and sea obey by eternal laws."

499 Buddhist, Christian, Islamic and Hindu priests and a Buddha statue are seekign to 'clam the coean' to protect the coast of Thailand from the expectant storm surges threatening Samut Prakan and Bangkok.

Pray away you holy men and turn back the sea.

TST Thai Time

Most 7/11s in Thailand have a coin-operated scale outside the store. My weight differs at each one and my friend Jamie Parker has theorized that the fluctuations are due to slight differncne in the intensity of the gravitational pull along the surface of the earth.

No clock seems to be running on the same time and Jamie furthers his theory by saying that time varies from place to place allowing you to time-travel simply by crossing the street.

The Thai Ministry of Metrology has ordered the entire Thai nation to function under TST Thai Standard Time, which is seven hours ahead of GMT, and tomorrow all clocks will legally have to maintain the new TST. This temporal ruling will be applied to all businesses servicing their public via computer.

The new TST is aimed at cyber-criminals such as porno surfers and under-age internet game players. Names and IDs will have to be presented at all internet cafes from now on. Failure will result in fines ranging from 100,000-200,000 baht

No one is charge can explain the origins of a rumor that the clock would be 30 minutes different from the present time.

Instructions for installing the official time on computers are posted on the Hydrographic Department's website at

Everyone set your clocks right or else.

Gary Glitter Home-Coming

Gary Glitter wore out his welcome in Cambodia. Vietnam incarcerated the glam-rock star for abuse of children. He was deported after serving most of a 3-year sentence. Arriving in Bangkok Mr. Glitter balked about boarding a plane to the UK and arranging a flight to Hong Kong, which stated they didn't want himn either.

Nowhere left to go but home.

Welcome Back.

Maybe he can live with Mr. And Mrs. Thaksin.

Assylum For the Thaksins IN UK

Former prime minister Thaksin Shinawatra and his wife are a few footsteps ahead of Gary Glitter in their flight from China. The Thai courts are exploring extradition to his homeland and the TRT leader has requested assylum in the UK, where he owns the football club Man City, citing his legal troubles are the result of political infighting rather than criminal proceedings.

Thaksin is countersueing the Thai policemen for over-stepping their authority in issueing wanted notices for the couple, which is standard operating procedure in the case of fiugitives. The present PM Samak called Thaksin to say the police are doing their job.

Wanted man - Thaksin Shinawatra.

Wednesday, August 20, 2008

Thou art thy brother's brother

Barack Obama has been getting beat up by the Old Dude John McCain and the young senator's campaign has been slow to go street with the GOP candidate. These squares don't know how to fight, but Vanity fair found someone in the slums of Nairobi who can take Barack's back.

George Obama.

The 26 year-old half-brother is living on no money in a 2m by 3m shack.

"No-one knows who I am. If anyone says something about my surname, I say we are not related. I am ashamed." The younger brother has only met Obama twice. The last time in 2006. "It was very brief, we spoke for just a few minutes. It was like meeting a complete stranger. Huruma is a tough place, last January during the elections there was rioting and six people were hacked to death. The police don't even arrest you they just shoot you. I have seen two of my friends killed. I have scars from defending myself with my fists. I am good with my fists."

Obama think about this.

When the going gets tough, the weak go to their family.

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The Road to Hong Kong

Gary Glitter left the limbo of statelessness after Thai authorities permitted him to board a Hong Kong flight after his refusing to return to his native England. The British police officer accompanying Glitter didn't have the cash to buy an onward flight.

The Home Office has confirmed Glitter was issued with a new British passport in recent months, which will make it easier for him to enter a third country.

Mr. Glitter says he's a fugitive from the press and maintains his innocence.

Presbyterians Only

A holy man from Bali died from old age. He arrives at the Pearly Gates to be greeted by St. Peter.

"Welcome to Heaven." St. Peter leads the Balinese holy man inside.

"I thought heaven was only for Christians."

"No, no, heaven is for everyone. Over there are the Balinese. To the right the French. Back there the Muslims. Up front the Christians. Over there the Irish." St. Peter points out every segment of heaven, then as they walk through a forest, St. Peter whispers. "And over there are the Presbyterians."

"Why are you whispering?"

"Because they think they're the only ones up here."

There is no heaven without dogs

click to enlarge

Parks Not Slums

Robert Mugabe of Zimbabwe pioneered a new trend in urban renewal by razing the slums around Harare and exiling the poor to the hinterlands and now Thai PM Samak has proposed to replace Bangkok's sums with parks. As for poor of Klong Toey and other huddles of hovels they can move back to the country.

Ploenpote Atthakor of the Bangkok Post writes in Outlook, "Mr Samak's dreadful plan brings to mind his long-time battle with the Mahakarn Fort community in Bangkok's Phra Nakhon district which began nearly a decade ago. As Bangkok governor, Mr Samak wanted to turn the four-rai site which has been home to generations of residents, into a public park as per instructions from the Committee for the Conservation and Development of Rattanakosin and Old Towns.

Perhaps the sight of the poor may be an eyesore for the old man who, during the Apec summit in 2003, made news headlines by ordering city officials to sweep the homeless - as well as stray dogs - from the streets so that foreign dignitaries and guests would not have to see them."

So parks versus slums.

We know which way the middle-class will vote.

Zimbabwe Park.

"It's so beautiful."

Thai UFO

Witnesses on Koh Tao reported a UFO streaking across the night sky. The mysterious celestial visitor vanished with a white flash to the northeast. No seismic waves reached the island and it is supposed that the object was a meteor disintegrating in the stratosphere. None of them party-goers at the full moon celebration on Koh Phanghan saw a thing. They were too fucked up on shitty Es.

Gary Glitter Thai Persona Non Grata # 1

Non-Vatican Paedophile # 1 Gary Glitter at Suvarnabhumi International Airport after a short flight from Vietnam. The rock star's onward flight to London left without him after he complained about angina to the airport staff.

"We don't want someone with a bad record staying in our country. We are ready to deport him, and are just waiting for Thai Airways to get him a flight to his country of origin." Thai immigration officials have declared Mr. Glitter 'undesirable' or 'mai têe peung bprà-sŏng', leaving the deportee from Viet-Nam few options.

Police will be waiting at Heathrow to enter the 64 year-old into the sexual offender registry, although his lawyer in Ho Chi Minh City thinks Glitter is a changed man.

"Prisons in Vietnam are not like prisons in [the West]. They're very strict. When you come out, you are different. He doesn't want to go back to England, because he thinks that when people see him, he will look like a broken man."

Many people will be happy to see how far he's fallen, especially the British Press.

They love misery.

Vegas has odds on Glitter committing suicide before Xmas 30-1.

Sioux Falls, SD, 1958

Click to enlarge

The Harbor Bar might still there.

Obama Pissed

Barack Obama is pissed at the Old Dude.

"He can talk all he wants about Britney (Spears) and Paris (Hilton), but I don't have time for that mess." The Senator from Illinois told the Veterans of Foreign Wars convention in Orlando, Fla. "Let me be clear: I will let no one question my love of this country."

McCain has somewhat successfully tried to portray his democratic rival as a 'surrender monkey' too young to deal with a revitalized Russia.

"We're all Georgians."

Personally I'd rather be French. They have better food.

BigFoot Hoax Uncovered

At the Damned's 1978 show at Hurrah Captain Sensible of the Damned wore a gorilla suit on stage. No head. No gloves. Hard playing guitar with either of them. He sweated so much that he nearly passed out from hypothermia. After the show I escorted the band to the dressing room and asked the guitarist if he wanted something to drink.

"A bottle of vodka. Shaken not stirred."

The other bandmembers joined the gorilla-suited guitarist with individual bottles, which they downed in one go, guzzling vodka which overflowed down their bodies before taking the stage for an encore of NEW ROSE.

I respected gorilla suits after that performance.

Not so for all Americans as a Bigfoot researchers revealed that the supposed Bigfoot corpse presented to the International Bigfoot Symposium by two Georgia policeman has turned out to be a gorilla suit stuffed with frozen possum meat.

Is nothing sacred in America?

The police officers' chief understand the gravity of the hoax and has started the necessary paperwork to fire the peace officers.

"Once he perpetrated a fraud, that goes into his credibility and integrity. He violated the duty of a police officer."

"We are all Georgians."

America Loves the Old Dude

The Old Dude from Arizona has enjoyed a sharp rise in the polls during the dog days of August, proving the sun doesn't shine on the same butt all the time. 46% of Americans likely to vote considered John McCain as stronger leader for the next four years according to a Reuters/Zogby poll.

"Drill now." and "We are all Georgians." as well as the ad linking his opponent, a black man, to two famous white blondes has resonated with the electorate worried about 'whites' losing their majority in 2040.

"I don't trust Obama." My brother was firmly behind the Old Dude, having twice pulled the lever for Bush.

"What don't you trust him about?"

"The economy. The war. And other things."

His wife, a die-hard Bush loyalist, echoed his sentiment.

"Who would you trust babysitting your kids?"


To counteract this reversal I've joined Stormfront online, a white racist website, to convince the die-hards that a vote for Obama is a vote against the Zionist fanatic John McCain.

My handle is White Steele.

Tuesday, August 19, 2008

TS Fay Slams Kite Surfer

From 1290 WJNO

Fort Lauderdale resident is in critical condition Tuesday after attempting to kite surf in Tropical Storm Fay.

Go to this URL

Sometimes you have to let go.