Friday, August 15, 2008

Beijing Striptease 2008 Olympics


Beijing is a city of millions. Glittering discos, trendy bars, ecletic galleries, 5-star hotels, deluxe shopping malls, fast food restaurants, multi-lane highways, and foreign super-markets have transformed the ancient Chinese capitol into a world-class consumotropolis, however this urban metamorphosis had a void of exotic dance bars.

Google Beijing and go-go bars

Plenty of brothels and escorts but the omission of go-go bars can not benefit the millions of womenless Chinese men in Beijing, however the Beijing News has reported that several Olympic officials remedied their plight by demanding a nudie show from each of the thousands of girls applying for the honor of leading the guest nations into the stadium. Their bodies were measured with a ruler during this trial by nudity. Anyone not meeting the judges' specifications of being beautiful, 1.66m tall, and youthful was thanked for their participation, although 400 rejects were enlisted into the cheerleaders lining the track. These lucky legion of leggy beauties trained for over six months to be in shape for nearly 3-5 hours of dancing during opening ceremony. Several dancers suffered facial cramps from smiling for that long. Nearly 600,000,000 people watched the opening ceremonies.

When I mentioned the girls having to strip for the trials, my friend Lisa said, "When I worked for Willie Smith, we'd have a casting call for our men's swimsuit division. The models would enter the office and I'd tell them to strip. The girls would applaud each one. Willie came into the office and asked what was going on. I told him we were casting for the swimsuit ads. When he protested that we didn't have a swimsuit division, I said, "I know that, but the boys don't." Willie gave me a little bonus for boosting morale, but asked me not to do it again. Years later I was at a dinner and ran into one of the models. He asked me why he didn't get the job. Nice huh?"

Maybe NBC will get more if the cheerleaders go naked for the closing ceremony.

Certainly better than Janet Jackson's costume mafunction.

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