Saturday, August 23, 2008

Penis Envy


Nick Hornby explains in HIGH FIDELITY the reason for men not engaging in foreplay with women by writing that during our teen years girls tell us not to touch them on their breasts or dream of going for 3rd base, but modern times have driven men to extremes, so that now foreplay has to involved sex toys to stimulate a male libido saturated by a flood tide of porno.

My friend in Palm Beach told on a blind date on which the man said, "I only believe in dildos on the first time."

The girls at the Welkom Inn on Soi 2 satisfied every man's dream on dildo foreplay in their backrooms, but not every female is so accommodating as an Italian tourist found out, when he tried to force a religious wooden penis into a girl's mouth at a Pattaya hotel. She was outraged and called the police who arrested the naive Italian for sacrilege.

The Thais call these penis amulets 'palad khik' or honorable surrogate penis and they are not sexual tools, but are worn by Thai men on a string around their hips to avoid any danger to their penises.

The Italian was not interested in this pruposes and resisted arrest. The bemused police put the heretic in the Soi 9 cells for assault with a religious object. He was released in the morning after a promise to behave.

His 'palad khik' was confiscated for purification.

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