Train Travel By Night - July 27, 1983 - Paris - Journal

Night time
Someplace in America
Friday night
Travel by night
Nop fun
Nothing to see, but Darkness
Sometimes passing through small towns
The semi-blue TV glow
In the living room windows
Marking the passing houses
Upstairs
All the children asleep___
Mom and Dad have gone out
For dinner, for drinks, with their friends
In the suburbs
Leaving Young Janie to babysit
Mom and Dad's Little Johnny___
Does Jenny make phone calls?
Or text??
Does Jenny have plans to have boys come over
To have no panty sex heavy breathing no panting___
Even Little Johnny's dad wants her
Janie on Mom's bed
Naked
Safe for the panties on her ankles___
But Janie's not giving it up.
Not tonight
But one night soon.
Yes, that is what the night hides from the train traveler
Suburban sins of a Friday night.
And the train keeps a-rolling
Across America.

I always on the south window heading back from Boston to New York on a Amtrak train.

Once passing through the pine barrens beyond Providence, I spotted a young teen girl standing alone on a dirt road crossing naked. She danced to something and was gone. I've never forgotten her. In the barrens. The pines are never bare.

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At one with everything

The depth of summer
The end of July
A scorching heat dome rides over the West
Temperatures in the 100s
Same in Spain, France, Portugal and even London
Fire clouds over two continent
No relief in sight
No rain
Only more blistering heat__
I lie on a damp shelf of sand
Ditch Plains Beach
The cold North Atlantic laps at my toes
Temp high 60s
Waves break on the beach
Vacationers swarming from the parking lot
Loaded with chairs unbrellas, food, blankets kids
Everyone happy with a sunny day on the beach
Not a worry of fires or drought
Temperature rising into the 70s
Dog owners call to their dogs
A small dog licks my face
My first snuzzle in months
An apology from the owner
I smile
I haven't spoken since the dawn
Not a single word
Not even in my head__
I shut my eyes
I roll on my stomach
Onto the damp sand
Open my eyes
Millions of grains of sand beneath me Not one with a name
I pick one
Clyde
Close my eyes
Open
Clyde once more millions of grains of nameless sand__
Same as me
A Neanderthal
One of the last
But
Also one of billions of living creatures
On Terra
More one with the sand than my own kind__
Time for my morning plunge
Into the North Atlantic
A mother to us all
Me
The sand
All one__

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Across Ireland To The Sea

Fly to Shannon

Up to Galway and cross the breadth of Eire
And cross the the Irish Sea
Across England
A train to London
To see friends and comrades
To speak of then, now, and always
And to hear Alice's laugh
Once again__

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Alice Walpole and Ingrid Esprit 1991 Eros Statute

Washington Square Park 7/23/2026

Peaceful in the Park

A sunny summer early evening
The murmur of voices
In conversation
An electric piano
Conga
A guitar
A singer's voice
Over the rumble of the Village
Te voices in the park
The wind through the trees
A city alive
And
Light jazz
Peaceful
If only the world was so
Maybe one day
Same as the park
With everyone at peace__

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July 13, 1986 Journal

revised 12/27/2027
A dream

I'm trying to get into my old room at home in Boston. Some of my things are still there. Behind me the door opens and a young man with a shotgun comes to me. Then he stands before the door and hands over the gun. I twirl it over my head and then I'm on my moped next to a broken down car someplace on a highway. Several moments later the moped is dead and falls apart

Poem

Lena and me
On the A train to Times Square
Sliding my thigh between yours
Denim on denim
Skin beneath the denim
The A train rocks on the track
We stand
At the end of the car
Only a few passengers
We don't care if they look
We are lost
In this act
Your hand on my crotch
My cock underneath the denim
The train shutters into Times Square
Stops
We don't stop
Lena bites her lip
As we dry hump
Doors open
All the passengers off
Doors shut
No passengers on
Only us
The A train
Screeches out of Times Square.
Lena shuts her eyes
Moan
Stutters a moan
Lena and me
On the A train__

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Farewell the Spawn

July 11
The horseshoe crabs are gone
From the Rockaways
Jamaica Bay and points
East and south
The annual spawning has come
With the late Spring full moons
To the East Coast of America, the Yucatan, and South East Asia
Hard shelled females lay hundres of thousans of eggs
Smaller males fertilize the future of the species
A repeat of 400 million other pawnings
Give or take several millions
Through eternity
And now gone All the horseshoe crabs
To the depths of the deep ocean
Unknown forever
To humans
Not a mystery
A secret
From man
For eternity

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Koh Samui - July 1994 - Journal

July 1993
Full moon on Koh Samui
Rising from the black sea
Lightning flashing
Inside monsoon thunderheads
40,000 feet overhead

Sitting in a beer bar
On Chaweng Beach
Aoy
Sweet
From Isaan
North
"Mother not know
"Father sick. Buffalo too
I work bar.
I like you.
I go with you."___

Her skin
Buttered silk
Smelling of Jasmine
Like the flower on the night air.

Aoy says number
"This not love
This is work."
"Go with me.
Help me.
Help family"
How can I say no?"
"Okay, let's go."

On my motosai
3 km to my crib
A bungalow
Overlooking the pla-muk boats
On the Gulf of Siam

On the curves
To Coral Cove
Slow down to 60
Aoy holds tight
Arms around my waist
Lightning flashing overhead
The moon running with the clouds
And me with the wind
With Aoy
Through the night
To Coral Cove.

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The Barren Pine Barrens

Crossing the Stretch

From Amagansett to Montauk
Through the dead Pine Barrens
The trees killed by pine beetles
Almost all of them
Sap sucked dry by the pest
Save for those saved from the blight__
Pockets of pine
Surrounded dead pines
Fallen staggering dry and gray
Awaiting a flame to burn them all
But not today
July 3
2026
Maybe some day
Maybe the 4th of July
Montauk is safe
No pines in the marshes
No pines in the Hither Hills
No pines in Montauk
Only before the Stretch
The Stretch is the only route
Out of Montauk
Other than the sea
And not all of us possess a boat
We ain't going anywhere, but here __

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Before and Now and Thereafter - 2026

Long ago
Long before Taylor Swift
We became our species
How does not matter
As what does not matter
Our species existed
Prey for all animals Saber-Toothed tigers, crocodiles, mosquitos ad infinitum We were not atop the feeding chain We was not on the bottom What saved us We smelled bad
We tasted worst__
And we learned from the other species
How to speak
To feed
To love
We roamed this planet
For eons upon eons
Our footprints marked the soil
Bones scattered across the plains, valleys, mountains everywhere.
Sometimes alone
Sometimes together
Like the other species outs was social
And sometimes not__
Our species changed with challenges
From Mother Earth
Floods, quakes, and lastly the last Ice Age
The great glacier retreats
15000 years ago
We once more.
Alive and ready to spread
To open land across the globe.
Learning from the lions, tigers, and bears.
How to stay alive
How to kill
Lions tigers and bears
And
US__
And we like the taste of us
We tasted of Spam
Goodbye Neanderthals
Goodbye Cro-magnon
Post Ice Age
We numbered approximately 10000 individuals
No known names
Earth no name
First known name
KI
In Sumerian
2900 BC
Over five thousand years ago
World population
Maybe three million
We spread KI
We cover Terra
We abuse Der Welt
And all beneath the sky
We are not Man
Man is war
Man is slavery
Man is greed, envy, pride, lust, gluttony, and wrath.
Sloth is a virtue in the age of mass species suicide.
Every man woman and child committing every sin in hopes of meet Taylor Swift.
I
One man
Have decided enough
No more am I a homo sapien.
A wise man___
Now
A Neanderthal
I resign from humanity
To rejoin my genes
Neanderthal
Beaten from me by nuns.
Lefthandedness
A welcoming smile
An occidental bump at the base of my skull
Short arms
Short legs
Good hair__
Abandoning humanity and all it's evils.
To walk free of learning
To see the stars
To read the wind
To meet Taylor Swift
No longer one of them

Just only me
And my name is not Ki
It's Ugh___

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WHAT IS AMERICA 1980 - JOURNAL ENTRY

WHAT IS AMERICA

What is America?
It isn't an easy answer
As it was with the Pledge of Allegiance
Said with a hand over my heart
In a two-room schoolhouse in Maine
Said in unison with other white students
We had learned in a young heart
Within a week
Without out any explanation

1958
America
It was a flag.
The State of Maine was one of the star
On the northern border of America

1960
My family moved to the South Shore of Boston.
Deeper into America
I attended a Catholic School
Sister Mary Magdalene taught us geography.
I memorized the states and the capitols.
Sister Mary Magdalene awarded me a gold star.

I learned more about America.

My uncles had fought wars
My father too Against the Nazis
Against the Japs
Against the North Koreans and Commie Chinese Reds
American stood for freedom
Superman stood for truth, justice and the American Way
Talking in class was not allowed in parochial school Not by the students

Opening your mouth earned a trip to Mother Superior's office
A wooden ruler on the palm
Ten times on the knuckles for bad boys
Freedom was a word taught by the nuns
Under the Blue Hills

Boy Scouts
Memorial Day parades
Veterans of the wars
The 60s America was in South Vietnam.
Older teens fought the Viet Cong
For freedom.
At school
History
Geography
It was the Sixties
Some things did not make sense
A war in Asia. Siccing dogs on blacks. God. None of what they taught in school.and the men from our neighborhood Only math seemed the truth.and the men from our neighborhood I was a youth on a rampage
Rock and roll, Louie Louie, Janet Stetson, The Velvet Underground, gas 35 cents a gallon.

July 4, 1968
The Quincy Quarries
Brewster's
A 110-foot granite cliff
Jimmie Lianetti dives off the Rail He is the coolest of the cool
Something went wrong on the way down.
Our idol breaks his back
His friends drag him from the water
Not dead but never again him

1970 I finish high school.
My draft number is 91
Soldiers and civilians die in Vietnam.
If I don't go to college
I could be one of them

I want to leave my town
Boston
America I'm a fighter
Not a baby killer
I go back to school
To learn more about America

Math major
That summer
Linda Imhoff
An elegant junior exec at my father's office
Long legs, aristocratic accent, clean shaven body
We fuck at the Hatchshell by the Charles River
Emerson Lake and Palmer onstage
We were in the bushes.
Gas 38 cents a gallon

The 1970s were not kind to America
The city closed the Quincy Quarries
In the 90s
Boston buried them in the rubble from the Big Dig
All to save suburban commuters fifteen minutes on Route 3

It wasn't all gone
The concerts, the fights after school, the racism, the bullying, the murders, guns, the them against the other them
I was a hippie,
I am a punk
I am a father
I am a grandfather
I am nothing
I am everything
I am an American
I know what it means to me
Life Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness
And that's it

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June 29 1997 Fire Island Journal

The waves from Africa 
Break on the Pines beach
The sea froth surging up the sand
With a lisping hiss
The final reach of the Atlantic
Swirling around my ankles
To retreat from
'Neath my feet___
Three seconds later
Another wave ripples around my feet
My soles sinking into the sand deep
My balance threatened 
By the tug
Of the sea___
Overhead a Westbound 747
Crew of nineteen
300 plus passengers
From Europe on the approach 
To JFK
I am invisible ___
This autumn I will be westbound 
Aboard a jetliner to Heathrow 
To Paris
To the South of France
And then Ireland
But I am here now
Fire Island
Haunted by the ghosts
Of boys of summer
Their names
Countless as the sand disappearing 
'Neath my toes___
I close my eyes
I see them all
The boys of the Sexual Revolution
Soldiers
I open my eyes
I see none__
I fight to remember 
All
The boys of summer
On this beach
Within reach
1978
Before
Before 
Before__
I see us all with my eyes open
Naked 
Young
Tanned
Laughing 
Naked
Alive___
Not  
Old Polaroids  Not in my hand
Of my mind
Oh the nakedness
Now
Today
I strip naked
No longer young
Alive
Naked___
Dive into the cold sea
This moment 
Like all those gone
And those to come
All of us
Together 
Never to flee
Our nakedness then
Or my nakedness now__
The smell of poppers in the air
Ah, the Pines__ Thanks for your support. In order to avoid ads, please donate to blogger.com.mangozeen through Venmo. Any amount will help us. I do have a large family. Even $1 will help. My Venmo account is @Peter.Smith.18

In This City - June 17, 1977

Rare
The clear light of a summer sjy
In this city
New York City
The sun can not burn off the haze
Rarer still are the days of easy breathing
In this city
But I knew what to expect
when I moved here
To this city
From Boston
My hometown
In a stolen car
At night driven by the need to leave a racist city
Gambling all on the love of a southern woman
Ro left for Paris the day
Before I arrived
Her gone had nothing to do with me
The stolen car gone with the dawn too
Leaving me
In this city
New York City
In the summertime
At night with the stars
Up in the sky___

Night Road Sri Racha

Sri Racha
Late late
Fuk high on kratom
Just driving around
Not his motorbike,
Borrowed it for a night out
Fuk speeding
Safe tonight, not much traffic, few police
Fuk know where they are__
Then run out of gas
Adventure over
Fuk driven so far, not caring about anything, and then out of gas completely broke
Far from home
Always happens
And out of kratom too
Money... need money, but Fuk have none left
All his money gone to kratom
Not enough for gas
Now can't ride in the cool night air
His one love__
Little Fuk has grown up
He still loves at night
Even ifhe has to walk__

Rain on East 77 Street - June 5 1978

Midnight
June 5 1978
East 77 Street
Outside
Rain
Thunder
Inside the foyer
My finger
On the buzzer
No reply____
Last winter
Lisa left
To be a model
In Europe
No letters
Since April___
Her face
Never on French Vogue
Nor Italian Vogue
Nor inside any fashion magazine.
Gone___
Inside the hallway
My finger on the buzzer
A last time___
Past midnight
She not here
The last words
In the last letter
Love
Lisa___
Where did the love go?
All I see are ghosts
Of her
All I have
Ghosts and the rain__
I walk away
Into midnight
Into the rain
With
Only one destination
Away from here
To someplace else
And out of the rain

Les Bains Douches - Paris August 17, 1994 - Journal

Les Bains Douches Paris August dedicated to my dear friend, Suzi Wyss__

Here's a poem from a 1994 journal Les Bains Douches Paris August 17, 1994

The clock over the stairs
Les Bains-Douches
Always Three to Midnight
The music from the dance floor
From DJ Albert de Paname
EVERYBODY NEEDS SOMEBODY by Solomon Burke___
Upstairs in the dining room
A trio of St. Tropez blondes at a table
Blonde bronzed seeking rich men
Or young boys
I'm neither__
I sit at the bar
Alone
An old junkie friend sits
Whines a tale of need
In broken English
In my good ear
Thanks me for the 100 francs
And goes to see Ali
A friend to all those in need___
Me
Wondering what I'm doing here
An easy answer
Candida left me
For an Italian agent
Why am I here?
I think
Maybe she'll come here
Fin me__
Idiot___
I wait and wait and wait___
The blonde bartender from Toulouse
Corinne
Tres mignon, gives me drinks
Free drinks
Normally 120 new francs
$22 US
Two ice cubes
Corinne makes mine
Doubles
Plein des glacons
Her smile
So sweet
I can read her mind
I wish I could grant her wish
All I have to say is yes___
Better not
No one wants to cure a broken heart
I get up to go
My hotel in le Marais
Rue des Ecouffes
Not far away___
In walks Suzi
More than a friend
Last year
>The happiest girl in town
Swiss
Ex-model
Courtesan a les tres riches
Greyhound thin
Gran Tetons
Lips sweetest cherries__
Unseen
A mole high on her upper thigh
We have been lovers
Laid in bed
Smoking opium
Her smile
An allure of lust
To any man willing to be a victim___
She sees me
I see her
Suzi kisses my cheeks
Not my lips
I tell her, "You haven't changed."
Her laugh
Mocking
"I hear that all the time. Even from the mirror."
About to ask
Come back to my hotel
In the Marais
Reading my mind
She says, "Je suis lesbian maintenant."
"Mais only for tonight."
Suzi joins the blonde St. Tropez trio___
It's late
It was late 2 hours ago
Corrine sad to see me go
I leave the Bains-Douches
Under the clock
Always three to midnight
My feet weak from drink
Walking into the night
Singing the old Jaynettes song
"Saddest thing in the whole wide world to see your baby with another girl."
But Suzi was never my girl
Neither was Candida.
Alone
Walking
To a hotel in Le Marais
To sleep alone___
Sleep
No dreams
Thankfully in the morning
A knock in the door
"Entrez."
Not Suzi
Mdme. Gruntuch
The owner of le Hotel Des Ecouffes
Who spent the entire Nazi occupation
As a child
In the sous-sol
Safe from the Nazis
Deep underground
Four years
Deep underground__
This morning
Le petit-dejuener
Baguette and cafe
Mdme. Gruntuch
A smile
I am not alone
Pas de tout seule
Je suis
Avec Madame Gruntuch
Ah, Paris___

DANTE'S STATUE - LINCOLN CENTER

Autumn Song

Know'st thou not at the fall of the leaf
How the heart feels a languid grief
Laid on it for a covering,
And how sleep seems a goodly thing
In Autumn at the fall of the leaf?

And how the swift beat of the brain
Falters because it is in vain,
In Autumn at the fall of the leaf
Knowest thou not? and how the chief
Of joys seems--not to suffer pain?

Know'st thou not at the fall of the leaf
How the soul feels like a dried sheaf
Bound up at length for harvesting,
And how death seems a comely thing
In Autumn at the fall of the leaf?

Dante is considered the greatest of Italian Romantic poets, especially since hthe Florentine broke from the tradition of writing in Latin to present his works in Tuscan, the middle age Italian dialect of his home. Only to be faithful to the doctrines of the Church as typical for most people of the Middles Ages. most of the translation tend to come from the work of Classical English poet. Who spoke in such a manner?

Westbound Train Montauk 12/24/2025

Sitting on the west end stairs of the Montauk train platform Sun on my face No one in sight No sea gulls No cars Only the train yard The rails gleam in the afternoon sun Polished by trains Transporting passengers to and from points West___ The steel dates back to the last century The engine and cars too I also come from the 20th century Past Navy Beach The trees of Hither Hills younger__
Ancient we are Trains tracks and me Though not as old as the sun falling on my skin, the rails, the steps Everything old as now Young as now too__ 5:17 Departure to Jamaica 5:19 I board Right on time Sit in the middle of the first car Three years ago a conductor told me His favorite seat "First car Less weekenders." North side seat View of Montauk Bay Then Neapaque Bay And then the thousands od dead pines Fallen ghosts never to rise again Until the rise of saplings After the Forest Fire of 2026__ Sun still lowering to the horizon Sunset 8:03 Right on time At one with eternity West bound To Jamaica And forever__

SO HAPPY SO HAPPY

Dove wakes in the morning
It's raining outside
Dove wants to stay in bed
Covered by a sheets and sighs
So sad so sad__
Noon comes and goes
2 PM comes and goes
Sadness stay
Sadness staying oh so close
So sad so sad__
But Sean, an old man, wants
Dove happy
Sean makes Dove happy
So happy so happy__
Sean
Never asks what Dove is thinking
Always wants nothing
Always there
When Dove need him most
So Sean can make Dove happy
So alone Dove can be happy
Even with him alone and he is good alone too
Alone together happy__
Six O'clock
Dove hear his steps
Climbing the stairs to her flat
Key in the door
Footsteps on the floor
Now at the door
Dove smiles
Sean says nothing
No words does make Dove happy
Dove do make him happy
We make us happy
Me in bed alone
Him asleep on the couch
Asleep apart together
Happy apart together alone
Not sad
So happy So happy

Staten Island Fog - May 9, 1978 Journal

From May 9, 1978 Journal

On the Staten Island Ferry
The first time
I've left Manhattan
Since going to Boston
On Christmas___
11 AM
I can't see anything of Manhattan
The fog furls over the ferry's wake
Across the Inner Harbor
The rank smell of the sea
Beyond the Verrazano Bridge.
The gray water darker than the gray air
The world a maze of opaque sameness
Gray gray gray___
The ferry approaches St. George
Passengers disembark
Return to Manhattan on the same ferry
A fog horn sounds the departure
11:30
The wooden dock enveloped by gray
Fifteen seconds later we are lost in the gray___

Blackout – Montauk # 37 - 202

Late November
Two hours past sunset
Ditch Plains
Montauk
Walking from a Joel’s house party
A black out
Power down
All lights out
Cold
No man light at all___
The stars above illuminate the Shagmoor bluff
30 degrees cold
A slight wind through the trees
THe rustle of bare branches
To the south below the bluff
Waves crash on the beach___
Overhead the Orion Nebula
1344 light years distance
From Earth___
My boots crunch on the path
Eyes adjust to starlight
Deers sneak through the undergrowth
Silent
Orion rising over the eastern horizon
Once I knew the names of the stars
I’ve been lost in too many cities
I've spent too many years in cities of bright lights

Blinded by the lights at night
I have lost my way
Through the stars
I am not a spaceman
But once I came close___
Summer 1962
A suburb south of Boston
A ten year-old boy
Behind a split-level ranch house
Painted pink
Past midnight
My family deep asleep
Every house in the neighborhood asleep
Dead quiet___
Out onto the back lawn
Naked
I lay on cut grass
Eyes straight up to the eternal night sky
Staring Bbeyond the bats
Hunting not orbiting Soviet satellites
But UFOs
Waiting for Aliens to abduct a naked boy
Ready
Willing
Able
To escape Earth and roam to the stars
With aliens from Space
To leave behind my shitty suburb
Forever
To wander the galaxy
With Aliens
As an Alien to all of them__
They never came that night or any night
And I cursed the stars and the suburbs and ET
Why didn’t you take me?
I want leave home____
To voyage to Orion and Betelgeuse and Rigel
The Brightest stars amongst countless stars overhead
Ah, the Cosmos___
Tonight in Montauk andlike then
I am alone
No UFOs
Only jets from JFK Europe Bound
West of Montauk
No extraterrestrials in the sky
Only millions of stars in a blackout
Boots crunch on the dirt
Waves crash on the beach
And___
Orion rules the stars
Partnered with Gemini and Taurus
In the winter sky
I’m happy to be here
Ditch Plains
On a path lit by starlight
Stuck on Earth
Ablue bright orb
In the quiet of Space
And south of me
The waves crash on the beach___