The Weight Of Books

Supposedly Karl Lagefeld's library at 7Rue de Lille in Paris contains 33,000 books. Regarding this photo many of them must be art books. The only publication heavier than an art books are fashion magazines due to heavier paper weights, such as 120–170 gsm (80–110 lb text) at least 2 pounds, but can range up to ten pounds. The March 2006 issue with Kate Moss on the cover weighed 1.140 kg, but then the heaviest object is the body of someone you have ceased to love.

Back in 1980 I had left a lovely female publisher from Maryland for a young nightclub waitress from the Upper West side. An acquaintance started dating my ex- and I was happy the two were happy together. One night at Underground on Union Square Doom apologized for stealing my girlfriend.

"It wasn't that way. I was glad you are with Elizaeth. She's too nice for me. Thank you for being with her." And I meant it. Elizabeth and I had met each other's parents. "You're an asshole."

"Maybe you are right, but congratulations anyway." I was in a good mood. The evening was for GQ. Drinks were free and I had received a weighty double-issue as a complimentary gift.

"Like you mean it, you asshole."

Doom was more an acquaintance than a friend, but I warned him, "Do yourself a favor, don't call me an asshole again."

I rolled the magazine in my hand. It was heavy.

"Why not?" Doom was high on blow. He had already tried to kill himself this year by burning himself. I had no interest in helping over the edge and began to walk away. He grabbed my left arm.

"You ass___"

I spun on my heels and swung the rolled magazine connecting with his nose. I hadn't been aiming my blow. I heard a crack and Doom collapssed to his knees, blood streaming from his nostrils. A bouncer helped him up and said, "I saw the whole thing. Go. I know Doom. He might call the police."

"I'm not a rat." Doom was still pissed at me. "You asshole."

I left the club and threw the GQ in the trash. Everyone who heard the story said I had overreacted knowing how fucked up Doom was on blow. They were right. I should have walked away, but I wasn't that kind of guy then.

Doom later successfuly hung himself. Elisabeth blamed my breaking his nose for his suicide. Maybe it was. People still talk about that confrontation, as do I. I don't read GQ anymore. My wardrobe is determined by hand-me-downs from the deceased. I have outlived all the dead.

"Cellphones will never replace a newspaper. You can’t swat a fly with a newspaper. – Pascha Ray – Traveler

ps I still go to anger management courses. or three elephants. I don't have a library anymore, but i do have an elephant's foot. Stumpy, lefto me by Andy Reese, a male hustler, who once accused me of theft to cover his guilt.

pps Lagerfeld's library has to weigh about 50,000 pounds.