SailVan on the Gowanus

Macro-Sea Pools Presents:
Sunset Scavenger, The Last Free Ride, and Others by Bill Daniel

Film tramp Bill Daniel (maker of the rail graffiti cult documentary film Who is Bozo Texino? and punk photographer extraordinaire) will be rolling into town to present a video screening on the Sailvan---a van rigged with two full sails that is a mobile outdoor video installation/projection hybrid van/schooner. The Sailvan will be parked amidst the Macro-sea pools and the installation and projections will be shown on the van’s sails as well as the surrounding lot walls. Daniel will also be screening his on-going video project Sunset Scavenger, a collage documentary about the end of the oil era, as well as various found films and lost cinematic treasures, such as The Last Free Ride, a film about the hippie houseboat scene in Sausalito CA in the early 1970's.

http://www.billdaniel.net
http://www.tri-x-noise.com


Macro-Sea Pools
Brooklyn, NY
Friday August 7th, 9pm

For directions and more information email
pools@macro-sea.com
Or call 917 371 4013 917 371 4013

http://www.macro-sea.com/

I might try a leap off the nearest building into the dumpster pool.

4 feet wide X 6 foot deep from 13 feet.

Jaywalking to Doom

The Bangkok police have announced a campaign aimed at stopping pedestrians from jaywalking. The fine will be an immediate 200 baht. This contravention along with littering in a city without trash bins has nothing to do with the 49% drop in tourism according to traffic police commissioner. The law is the law, but I recall several years back the traffic commissioner initiated a street crossing program aimed at safe-guarding foreign pedestrians. Flags were placed at busy intersections. Street-crossers were to wave them in the air to warn drivers. Great idea, although no one was told about the plan and two Danish tourists were mowed down by a truck, who disregarded their raised arms. Jaywalking in Bangkok or any other city in Thailand is a life or death gamble. I still cross with the lights at Soi Nana. No hurry. Nothing is going anywhere.

The life you save might be your own.

Life Sentence For Aussie in Thai Prison

Drugs are illegal in Thailand. The police have squads of officers scouting the slums, discos, and bars for offenders. Suspects are piss-tested for 'ice' and 'ja-bah', the two popular speed drugs in the orient. Any trace of purple means a lock-up for months. Actual possession could earn years, but smuggling drugs gets the most time in prison with the possibility of execution. One of the last executioners of Thailand is on death row for trafficking, so the recent sentencing of life imprisonment to an Australian man could be seen as lenient. the 31 year-old had been arrested at the airport with 3 kilos of heroin taped to his body. He avoided the death sentence by confessing to the crime. His partner was able to escape the airport, despite the heavy police presence. The fugitive must have met more understanding officers on his way to the taxi stand or else he was caught by King Power Duty-Free for shop-lifting. Better that than transportation of heroin.

Of course the pundits on Thai Visa were organizing a petition for the death penalty. These wankers think they are little gods out here. Heroin does kill people and ruin lives, however cigarette manufacturers murder millions each year and no one is hunting them down on the streets and King Power is selling the cancer sticks with impunity at their shops through the airport.

Taxes remitted to the government.

Case closed.

Macho Man Putin

Pattaya Thailand is packed with fitness buffs beefing up their muscles. Many of these foreigners devote hours at the gym to reanimate forgotten muscles. Others short-cut the demanding regime by shooting up steroids. Rippling musculature within weeks and a smaller penis too. They combat penile dysfunction with ingestions of Viagra and snort ketamine to calm their anger. Lovely combo and I avoid the juice muscle monkeys like the plague. I can see them coming from far off, so when I spotted photos of Vladmir Putin on vacation, I said to myself, "Someone is hitting the gym candy a little hard."

The Russian Prime Minister posed for photographers bare-chested on a horse in Siberia. The photos were beefcake shots for gay men everywhere. Very Tom of Finland and he remains the homosexual community's #1 poster boy.

No gay guys hit on me anymore, even though I'm 57 like Putin. His tits are firm. Mine are in need of some exercise or surgery or even a stretch of steroids, but I did lose some weight during my recent trip to Thailand.

Down under 200. I challenged two 30 year-old Brits to a underwater race in a swimming pool. I won both for distance and speed. Putin is a karate expert. I fight dirty. I don't think I would stand a chance against the Russian leader not unless I fought dirty like hit him from behind with a shovel. That tactic always levels the odds.

Not that I would want to meet him. He's too much of a believer. My favorite Russian leader was Boris Yeltsin who was so drunk one time that he missed a meeting with Reagan. He was also sloshed the time he stormed out of the Moscow White House to quell a coup by communist hard-liners. Now he was a man. At least my kind of man.

High School Then And Now

Scenario 1:

joey goes quail hunting before school and then pulls into the school parking lot with his shotgun in his truck's gun rack.

1959 - Vice Principal comes over, looks at Joe’s shotgun, goes to his car and gets his shotgun to show Joe.

2009 - School goes into lock down, FBI called, Joe hauled off to jail and never sees his truck or gun again. Counselors called in for traumatized students and teachers..

Scenario 2:

Johnny and Mark get into a fist fight after school.

1959 - Crowd gathers. Mark wins.. Johnny and Mark shake hands and end up buddies.

2009 - Police called and SWAT team arrives -- they arrest both Johnny and Mark. They are both charged with assault and both expelled even though Johnny started it.

Scenario 3:

Jeffrey will not be still in class, he disrupts other students.

1959 - Jeffrey sent to the Principal's office and given a good paddling by the Principal. He then returns to class, sits still and does not disrupt class again.

2009 - Jeffrey is given huge doses of Ritalin. He becomes a zombie. He is then tested for ADD. The school gets extra money from the state because Jeffrey has a disability.

Scenario 4:

Billy breaks a window in his neighbor's car and his Dad gives him a whipping with his belt.

1959 - Billy is more careful next time, grows up normal, goes to college and becomes a successful businessman..

2009 - Billy's dad is arrested for child abuse.. Billy is removed to foster care and joins a gang. The state psychologist is told by Billy's sister that she remembers being abused herself and their dad goes to prison. Billy's mom has an affair with the psychologist.

Scenario 5:

Mark gets a headache and takes some aspirin to school.

1959 - Mark shares his aspirin with the Principal out on the smoking dock.

2009 - The police are called and Mark is expelled from school for drug violations. His car is then searched for drugs and weapons.

Scenario 6: Pedro fails high school English.

1959 - Pedro goes to summer school, passes English and goes to college.

2009 - Pedro's cause is taken up by state. Newspaper articles appear nationally explaining that teaching English as a requirement for graduation is racist. ACLU files class action lawsuit against the state school system and Pedro's English teacher. English is then banned from core curriculum. Pedro is given his diploma anyway but ends up mowing lawns for a living because he cannot speak English.

Scenario 7: Johnny takes apart leftover firecrackers from the Fourth of July, puts them in a model airplane paint bottle and blows up a red ant bed.

1959 - Ants die.

2009 - ATF, Homeland Security and the FBI are all called. Johnny is charged with domestic terrorism. The FBI investigates his parents -- and all siblings are removed from their home and all computers are confiscated. Johnny's dad is placed on a terror watch list and is never allowed to fly again.

Scenario 8: Johnny falls while running during recess and scrapes his knee. He is found crying by his teacher, Mary. Mary hugs him to comfort him.

1959- In a short time, Johnny feels better and goes on playing...

2009 - Mary is accused of being a sexual predator and loses her job. She faces 3 years in State Prison. Johnny undergoes 5 years of therapy.

Beijing Beermas

Beijing Airport is enormous. The thousands of travelers passing through the terminals are dwarfed by the expanse. 30-meter windows offer a wide vista of the runways. Beijing International may be busy, but the scale of this airport shrinks everything into antlike proportions. I'm here on a six-hour layover from Bangkok. My destination - JFK in New York.

Beer at JFK is $9/draft.

$2.50 for a Chinese beer at the Shamrock Cafe. Free Internet too.

Nothing is free at JFK.

Time to head to the gate.

13 hours more and I'll be back in the Land of the Fat and the Freaked.

Beermas at the White House

The Media had its diapers twisted by the uproar over the arrest of a Harvard professor in his own home by a Cambridge police officer. President Obama entered the fray by calling the incident 'stupid'. His off-the-cuff comment racketed up the GOP attack dogs at a time when the White House is promoting legislation on Health Care reform. Obama decided to handle this crisis with a tactic unknown to the previous administration. he invited the arresting officer and the arrested professor to the White House for a few beers on the White House lawn.

The outrage dissipated into a pundit frenzy of tea-reading the choice of beer.

Obama - Bud Light. The cop - Buckler. The professor - Red Stripe.

Joe Biden was also invited although no one cared about the VP's choice.

The media was kept at a distance and Obama later said about the 'beer summit', "This is three folks having a drink at the end of the day and hopefully giving people the opportunity to listen to each other."

Officer Gates and Professor Crowley parted not as beer buddies, but at least gaining another taste in each other's mouth about the charged incident.

All hail the power of beer.