Saturday, February 2, 2013

The Price of Happiness


Last Summer I ran into an old acquaintance on Walking Street. Jimmie has been coming to Pattaya several years. The Brit had faithfully obeyed the advice of his lager lout mates to never get emotionally involved with a bar girl. Every night of his holidays he goes out, drinks, gets a girl, brings her back for sexual release, and the next day repeats the same process.

“I feel like I’m doing an expensive version of GROUNDHOG DAY.” Jimmie said in his Gordie accent one afternoon, nursing his hangover with a beer.

Actually he had to repeat the sentence three times before I could understand his dialect. He shrugged and added, “Met a girl last night. She’s a good one. Doesn’t want nothing and fucks like she likes it. I think I’m gonna stay with her.”

Being a married man and faithful, I don’t like seeing any man in his golden age succumbing to allure of commitment.

“Jimmie, fight off that urge. Have another beer.”

Jimmie was weak. The girl was cute. He looked like a vulture. She loved sex and he said, “I want to stay with her the month. She says I have to give her 15,000 baht ($400US) for the month and then the bar 6000 baht. Does that seem like a good deal?”

15K was probably better than she was making at the bar.

“If it makes her happy.”

“What about the 6000 to the bar?”

“Well, it’s an insurance policy. Once you leave she’s going to have to work somewhere and she likes where she works. So you have to give the bar their due.”

“I just feels a little too much like slavery.”

Bar fines are confusing to most men.

The prices in Pattaya generally run according to these nightly rates;

Go-go girls get 1500 baht.

Show girls cost 2000-3000 baht.

Service girls in go-go bars are 500 baht.

Bar girls are 200 baht.

Short time girls on Soi 6 or at Welkom Inn, and Jade Garden at 200 baht.

Free lancers at Marine Disco or Tony’s don’t expect a bar fine, although it would stop them from asking for one.

I explained all this to Jimmie as well as that his girl gets a commission of 25-50% from the barfine.

“So you think it’s a good idea?”

“Yeah, sounds great to me.” Some people need a shove to push them off the cliff.

“Cheers.” Jimmie bought a round for the bar to celebrate his decision. The girl came down later and thanked me.

“Only trying to make a man happy.”

“I make him happy. He make me happy. Good.”

“Yeah, sure. But can you understand what he says.”

“No.” She shook her head. “I don’t speak German.”

Neither does Jimmie, then again I’m not so sure that he speaks English.

Doesn’t matter. Money says love in every language.

RECAP

Jimmie lasted a week with the girl. Has someone else since then. Almost a month. It’s either love or laziness.

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