Friday, April 14, 2017

Lawang Jesus

I'm thousands of miles away from Thailand. I wished I could click my heels and find myself in Sri Racha with my family, but instead I shut my eyes and visualize Easter morning on Pattaya's Beach Road. Most Christian farangs are sleeping off celebratory drunks, hoping to rise from the dead for a recuperative beer in the late afternoon, however back in 2006 an American George Patrick Dubie who purported himself to be the 2nd Coming of Christ, was shot by his Canadian girlfriend in a Chiang Mai restaurant. The Thai authorities gave her 3.5 years for the self-proclaimed Messiah and carrying a pistol in public. Her confession of premeditated murder halved her sentence along with her claim to have been driven insane by her beloved partner's affair with a Thai woman.

"I was so pissed that I killed Jesus." The disciple swore before a Thai judge. "He was spending the money he owed me on another woman."

Not Jesus.

Just another fucked-up farang fucking a Thai lover.

And she wasn't Mary Magdalene either.

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