Pattaya probably leads the world for most suicides by tourists. Every week the city's newspapers report another fatal plunge from a condo balcony. No one ever calls for the landlords to place a sticker on the railing saying, "Falls from this height could be dangerous." because the suicides are usually considered to be losers, however in 2008 this theory was disproved by a super-model's death leap from a Manhattan apartment building.
Ruslana Korshunova had been discovered as a 16 year-old by an insightful photographer. Vogue had called her the next big thing. The twenty year-old had earned big money.
Fame and fortune aren't everything.
One night she watched the movie GHOST with an ex-boyfriend. He left her at 5am. No one spoke to her again and the NYPD reported his death by jumping from her terrace.
Family and friends are astounded by her death.
"She was on top of the world."
New York Post and Daily News paint the blonde as desperate for love, but her emails were normal epistles from a girl wanting what all girls want.
"Love is the sun, desire - only flash. Desire dazzles, and the sun gives life."
This doesn't sound like someone who wanted to kill herself and I questioned this suicide as I do all those in Pattaya, because most suicides leave a note.
My Pattaya girlfriend, Jai, tried to kill herself when I ordered her to leave after she pawned the refrigerator to give money to her 'brother'. She slashed her arms with broken glass. It was an act. Her wrists bore the scars of previous dramas. I let her stay because I had a soft heart. She wrote no suicide note and neither did Ruslana.
If only I had been there for her.
I would have saved her.
If I could.