Journal Entry - January 3, 1978

This freezing afternoon I walked up Broadway in a thin leather jacket. I couldn't resist stopping into Mayer's Art. I entered Fran's place of work. My eyesight was blurred, since I wasn't wearing my glasses and thought she wasn't there, but then I spotted Fran standing behind the counter with two co-workers. She stepped away from them and said, "Peter, I was thinking yesterday that I might not ever see you again."
"Here I am."
"With a new jacket." She fingered the leather and said, "It doesn't feel that warm."
"It isn't, but my body runs hot. I wanted to see you."
"Without James. He never had anything good to say about me. I thought you were my friend."
"You never acted it."
"I couldn't stand James or how he looked at you and spoke to me."
"You're crazy."
"No, I'm not. I could have been something to you, but you preferred James' company and you always made jokes about me. Friends don't do that."
"Sorry. You look good." Her long mane was more kempt than before.
"My ass is bigger." She showed her profile and my penis stirred to hardness.
"You want to go out someplace now."
"It's too cold for sex outside or even in a hallway. I have to go back to work."
"I could come over tonight."
"And I'd want you to, but I have to work early tomorrow and if you stay I'll never get any sleep. All you want from me is sex."
"Same as you from me. Come with me now. I promise to be quick."
"It's never quick with you and I hate the feeling of you dripping down my thighs when you've left me."
"I'ts not the same with your boyfriend."
"He is quick and he lets me sleep, but I don't want him or you. I want to be in Arizona and be warm."
She leaned forward and murmured, "I'd love to get a tan and lie naked with you in real heat."
"I dream of that day," I said knowing it would never come this winter.
@At 1/5th
Last night at the bar a blonde woman said, "Are there any Jews here?"
"Are you a Nazi?"
"No, a neo-fascist," she snapped with hatred and I was surprised by my friend's silence in the face of such raw anti-Jewishism.
"Death to all fascists, you Nazi cunt."
The barman asked nm to leave for her safety. He knew my temper.
Later at Serendipity 3 William Lively my fellow queer busboy at Serendipity 3 bumped into me, as I carrying two fists of glasses. He sid, "You are stupid carrying glasses like that."
"William, I've ignored you your comments. I know you want me and I won't fuck you, but I you call me 'stupid' again, I'll kick the shit out of you."
"Oh, I love the rough stuff."
"Except I'm not playing rough. Understand," I said before the entire kitchen staff, including Michael Dutton.
"Yes, sir."
As we walked back to the dining room he said, "Sorry, I don't think you're stupid, but you should know that I was kidding."
"William, I had speech impediments all my life. People always thought I was stupid and treated me the same way. It's not a joke to me."
"Sorry, Pebbles," he said, using my nickname at the ice cream shop.
"All is forgiven."
When I left to go back to my SRO hotel, it was freezing and teh air was colder than old steel dripping into my lungs. I recalled someone telling me about ranchers finding cattle frozen to trees by Alien ray guns. It was a myth or the truth, but I was cold and my leatehr was no help at all.