Friday, January 19, 2024

Iowa Ain’t All That 2024

A high hovering over Greenland blocked the Arctic jet stream and the southern diversion plunged the Center of the USA into severe sub-zero temperatures. The low in Iowa for the 2024 Presidential Caucus was anywhere from -13 to -30 breaking all records. The media have been rattling on about the importance of the GOP vote for months, despite the fact that Iowa Republican electorate has less votes than the bourough of Brooklyn.

The day came and went with the lowest turnout ever in the event's history. 50% or 55,000 votes won the caucus for Trump. Mostly evangelicals who consider the embattled billionaire to be the Orange Messiah. The media declared that result to be a landslide. Iowa has 752,249 registered Republicans, meaning that the winner for the delegates for the 2024 GOP convention garnered 7% of those voters willing to go outside in the freezing cold.

93% of the Iowa voters didn't vote for Trump.

"And that's called victory," commented Ty Spaulding from Hawaii.

A helluvah landslide. Joe Biden didn't even show up in Iowa. He's not even registered for New Hampshire.

ps Bismarck North Dakota has a population of 55,000 and was even colder than Des Moines, the capitol of Iowa, which has a population of 214,000. Trump received 6600 votes there. Landslide is over 70%.

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