May 6, 1978 - Journal Entry

I am stuffing myself with garbage food. I have a little money in my pocket, so I'm making up for lost time when I was broke. After paying off my prodigal debts, I have $150 in my pocket, almost a month's rent at the SRO, but there's no guarantee of more money in the future.

LATER

I've just beaten-off. I could have fucked Christine M, who came over my room to smoke a joint, but I begged off and she left angry. The telephone down the SRO hallway keeps ringing. The caller must be stupid. These rooms are small. If someone doesn't answer the phone, it's because they have a good reason.

I sit at the desk with paper and pen. I stare out the window. The alley is sunlit. Not a single word can I write on a blank sheet of paper. I turn to this journal. I've been writing in them for over three years. Every word meaning nothing, but I am content for the moment.

Ann is in love with me. I have money in my pocket, I'm young and healthy, but my armpits stink. Is that a sign of decay?

LATER

I ran into William Lively on Christopher Street. We visited Ro at David's Potbelly. Like him she attended NC School of the Arts.

"That's a surprise to see the two of you together. Two different worlds, but Peter is an expert of traveling between worlds. First Andy, then Kirk, and now you. Who knows where you'll end up."

I warned her about my upcoming birthday party.

"I'll try and come."

"I understand if you don't."

She looked very tired.

William and I left for a stroll along West Street. I sieg-heiled the cruising leather boys. I have interest in that game. They were angry at me and I responded, "You and your leather are the height of Nazi fashion."

William laughed.

He doesn't have the S&M itch, but he does want me.

LATER

Blood pounds, as he forces the door An easy job The thrill of invasion plus the satisfaction of booty Ah, theifdom the rue of no one.

LATER

After I recite this poem to William, he says, "Tim got robbed again."

"It wasn't me." I hadn't been to their apartment in weeks.

"I know. Tim doesn't lock the door. All his tricks know that."

"Serves them right." I'm still pissed about their accusing me of robbing them.

When of course it was their our friend, Andy Reese.