Alice and I had a small spat at my SRO room this morning after I said in bed, "There's noplace else I'd rather be than between your legs."
"Is that all you want from me?"
"That and..."
"What?" She was pissed. "All you ever want is sex."
"I'm sorry that I want you."
"Want me? All you want is to fuck me."
"Sorry." The fury of my libido doesn't match her desires.
"It's all about you."
"I try and make you cum."
"Only so you can fuck me more." She sounded like she was accusing me of rape, but then said, "I have a horrible hang-over."
Bourbon and beer at Max's.
For some reason I was rock-hard and held down my erection to keep from forming a circus tent under the sheets.
"I can't take a shower here."
I shared the bathroom with six other men. Classic SRO accomodations.
"Let's go to my place," Alice suggested.
"I'll make breakfast."
Bacon and eggs was the first meal I had made us. Neither of us spoke and she left without saying good-bye.
That was weird but whenever someone walks away from me, I wish for them to turn around like Orpheus in fear of Eurydice not being there. Instead I stared ahead knowing Hades has his tricks, plus people are never really gone, they're just not here for a moment.
LATER
That evening I called Alice on the phone and she told me, "I slept all afternoon and had weird dreams. Boy was I wet, when I woke up."
"Guess it as a good thing I wasn't there."
"No, I wished you were here. Guess our timing is off for making love with a satyr."
"Better a Satyr than the Marquis de Sade."
"For me."
"Me too, I answer, but God knows why our civilization can't support libertines more.
Blood, sex, death, money, and power in 18th Century France versus the chaos of the East Village in the 1970s.
It's a good contrast of wickedness.
My homosexual experimentations have been discarded. I don't see many of my gay friends. Only William. The entire experience consisted of sloppy kisses, small cocks, loose anuses, lisps, queer mannerisms, generally bad sex, but a lot of laughs and dancing and I owe the boys that. They were my friends when no one else was. They kept me alive in a world hostile to outlaws.
I found more pleasure in my hand than a stranger's touch.
I never went to any orgies with them, but once at the Cave I took on several men. Not being able to see their faces. Having a cock in your mouth and another in your ass was close to total degradation, unless it was your cock in someone else. William was there that night. He looked on and jerked off with tears in his eyes. He wanted me for his own, but I belonged to no one. No men. No women.
Not until Alice.
She has my heart.
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