Osama Bin Laden arrested in Maine

Five years after 9/11 a man in Islamic attire appeared on the Maine Turnpike near South Portland. Numerous motorists called 911, because the man was carrying dynamite and bore a likeness to the infamous Osama Bin Laden. State Police swarmed to the scene. The bearded man was now brandishing a gun. The cops disarmed and arrested the wanted terrorist some fifty miles north of Kennebunk, the summer home of the Bush presidents.

Homeland Security officials sped to the jail with a portable waterboarding device and a CIA plane was dispatched for transporting the fugitive to a secret torture prison somewhere in a 3rd World country or Alabama. Unfortunately upon questioning the suspect tore off his Halloween mask to reveal he was simply a lawyer from Maine protesting higher local tax. The gun and dynamite also turned out to fake.

In 2000 the same lawyer, Thomas Connolly, released information about GW Bush's arrest for drinken driving. The GOp debunk this fact by claining it was done for politics. No one in the White House commented on today's incident, although GW Bush said at a speak before a picked audience that one day Osama Bin Laden will be caught.

Las Vegas has the odds of that happening during his last term as president as 250-1.

The lawyer was charged with criminal threatening with a non-deadly toy and released on bail. "I never expected to be arrested."

After long negotiations, the CIA plane departed from Portland International with an empty holding cell. Meanwhile OBL sits in plam beach at the Bush winter home, waiting for his chance to appear on SESAME STREET, which is his favorite TV show.

Big Bird will be waiting.

Osama Where

Two years ago Osama Bin laden escaped from a White House detention cell. Neither the FBI, CIA, NSA, or Boy Scouts have a clue as to his whereabouts. Several talent agencies interest in booking the terrorists on Oprah and BBC's Hardline have also failed to find the Saudi warlord as will as a dozen credit card companies seeking payment for the 9/11 flights. Seems the hijackers credit cards bounced a week later.

Rumors have placed the world's most wanted man in the tribal areas of Pakistan, Elton John's penthouse as well as GW Bush's Crawford, Texas ranch and the Breakers in Palm Beach.

I actually met one of his brothers in London during the 80s. Bought us drinks at Annabelle's.

Nice guy. He died in a plane crash. In the 1980s. Not 9/11.

Anyway I was surprised to overhear Osama Bin Ladin's name at the Buffalo Bar the other night.