Dildo Gun Robbery

Pattaya attracted all kinds in the 20th Century. While managing my clothing website, I ran into a German running the same internet business. Ralf and I became friends. We drank together at bars catering to Thais. Neither of us had many farang friends. One night he confided to me that as a teenager he had robbed German banks as a teenager. His modus operandi was for his gang of three motorcyclist to storm into a branch bank, fire a shotgun into the ceiling, grab as much money as they could in 40 seconds and then flee on their bikes 30,000 Deutschmarks richer. He made it almost sound professional, although most bank robberies are acts of desperate men or women as opposed to skilled thieves. Somehow these unfortunates have watched too many movies. Several years ago one UK robber must have spent too many hours watching porno, for he tried to rob a betting shop with a dildo. A local newspaper reported; "Last December Nicki Jex raided the Ladbrokes shop in Leicester, pretending he had a gun in a paper bag. Instead it was his girlfriend's Rampant Rabbit vibrator, which he pointed at the frightened female clerk.

600 pounds in his pocket and he fled, but was captured thanks to the CCTV camera inside the shop. The attending judge was not amused and the robber was sentenced to five years in jail."

Robbery with intent to sexual abuse is no laughing matter in England, unless you're into that kind of thing and we know how wicked the English can be. Last week in Pattaya an upper-class British septuagenarian revealed at dinner that as an officer he had been reviewed by Princess Margaret in Germany. Gregory had stood at salute in his tank turret while his driver fellated him in honour of Queen and Country.

"We are a wicked people. Everyone knows that Shirley Bassey liked golden showers from her gay friends."

"Shirley Bassey. Golden showers?" The singer of GOLDFINGER had starred in the UK's most popular Tv Show in the 1970s.

"It was champagne to her lips." Gregory spoke as if he had seen the Lady with the Golden Lungs quaffing the yellow liquid.

Afterwards I scoured Google without finding a single direct reference to Shirley Bassey and then cross-referenced to golden showers robbery. Also nothing, but then some fool might take inspiration from this legend and show up at a bank with a full bladder.

"Gimme the money or else I'll pee on you."

"What else can you expect from the hoi polloi. photo is Leslie Neilson with an out-of control dildo gun. He was a very funny man.

I Fought The Law

On August 23, 1973 accidental actor Mark Frechette was arrested for bank robbery a few blocks away from Mel Lyman's commune in Boston. Boston police responded to the silent alarm and shot dead of his accomplices.. Mark threw his gun on the floor. It was unloaded. Bail was set at $2500. He didn't go to jail without a fight, but back then as now no one fought the law and won, unless you had money, and Frechette couldn't make the bail of $2500, since he had given his entire salary for ZABRISKI POINT to Mel Lyman. Those were the days.

Mark Frechette ZABRISKI POINT

"As you get old, you forget. AS you get older you are forgotten." James Steele Some of us never get to be old or even older, especially those doomed by the James Dean's curse 'live fast, die, and leave a good-looking corpse'. Few men of the counter culture were as good-looking as Mark Frechette. In 1968 Michelangelo Antonioni was searching for the male lead of his MGM film ZABRIKSIE POINT. A year had passed without finding the right actor, but casting director finally discovered Mark Frechette in Boston, while the handsome member of the Lyman family commune was having a shouting match with a man in a 3rd floor above a Charles Street bus stop. "Motherfucker." The casting director wrote to the director that he was 20 and he hates. Seeing his photo Antonioni green-lighted the new-comer. Neither Mark nor his co-star Daria Halprin had any previous acting experience, for Antonioni was looking for the raw quality of rebellious youth. The filming of a fugitive gunman took place in Los Angeles and finished in Death Valley. Mark Frechette hated the the experience. He thought the Italian director to be a phony. On THE DICK CAVITT SHOW the high school drop-out tells the TV audience not to waste their money on the film, which was later listed as one of THE WORST FIFTY FILMS OF ALL TIME. Frechette returned to the Fort Hill commune with Daria Halprin and the $60,000. The lovely Halprin fled Boston to later marry Dennis Hopper, but Mark remained true to the guru, Mel Lyman, and attempted a bank robbery with two friends in 1972. His accomplice was shot at the scene of the crime. Mark Frechette had a gun without bullets. "There was no way to stop what was going to happen. We just reached the point where all that the three of us really wanted to do was hold up a bank. It would be like a direct attack on everything that is choking this country to death." He was sentenced to 6-15 years, however the movie star died in a prison weight-lifting accident according to the prison officials. Damn, he was good-looking. And that I don't forget. To see how handsome please go to this URL http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-jyzFfrtLRk&feature=related