Rent-Free Hell 2016

Yesterday was Easter Sunday and on the C train between Hoyt-Schemmerhorn and Lafayette Street a young man was preaching about the wrath of his lord. "God loves his flock, but hates a sinner. All you sinners will have a special place of torment in Hell." He glared about the subway car like Josef Mengele, the SS Angel of Death at Auschwitz-Birkenau. I met his stare with cold blue eyes, but smiled as I asked, "Are those places rent-free?" Most of the passengers were immune from his rant. Their headphones and earplugs filled their head with song. A few were free of any device and they laughed at my quip. The preacher was not amused and pointed a finger in my direction. "The end is coming soon." "Not soon enough for me, if it means you'll be taken to your holy heaven and I don't have to listen to you anymore." The train stopped at Lafayette and I stepped onto the platform, half-expecting the preacher man to follow my exit. He stood at the door of the subway shaking the Bible at me. "You're lost." The preacher scowled without joy. There are no jokes in hell for the Christians. "Not lost, but found in the beauty of humanity and the glory of love." "Damnation." "And I couldn't be happier." The subway doors closed and the preacher was dragged deeper into Brooklyn. I exited from the train station to enjoy the cool evening air thinking about the Jesus-lover celebrating Bunny Day with an egg hunt. No humor was one thing, but no fun was another, then again stranger things have happened to the faithful. Even to those without a sense of humor. I'll be laughing my head off in Hell. Rent-free of course.

A Good Night's Sleep

In 2008 the ex-model from Paris has been abducted by fundamentalist thought. For her the world was coming to an end. We are living in the End of Days under the Anti-Christ. His name is Barack Obama. Several times a day the great beauty posted warnings of biblical doom

One epistle was the following; several studies have shown that Earth can produce enough food for 30 billion people. That's more than four times the actual population.

Me; it's called solent green

ex-model - NO ITS NOT

me -the population of the world will be 500 million to a billion in 2050

they will not be eating potato chips

ex-model - Armageddon will be way before that.

me - that's why I drink beer now. because there will be none in hell and so what about hell. how bad can it be. worst than kindergarten with bullies

ex-model - Hieronymous Bosch

me - I can walk through that painting without breaking a sweat. you are a good person. this idea of everlasting punishment. you are better than that. come back to the love. abandon the fear.

ex-model - Well, fools do rush in where angels fear to tread.

ex-model - Actually it's not only one painting, but a series of revelations on hell, and if it doesn't make you sweat you are indeed a fool no offense my friend

me - none taken for the fearless

ex-model - Peter please stop with the New age drivel you too are better than that, Hell my friend is where you will go if you choose to willingly ignore that the living God sacrificed His precious son to save you from HELL, point final, I will

Saying with a loud voice, Fear God, and give glory to him; for the hour of his judgment is come: and worship him that made heaven, and earth, and the sea, and the fountains of waters.

me - there is no hell. there is no heaven. and there is no god. I don't have to read a bible to know they these truths are holy. my lack of faith is devout, I've gone down on my knees for the first time in 50 years to pray to your god. I ask him to end my life and send me to hell. I've beseech him to burn my soul. Of you don't hear from me tomorrow. no today. because this is already tomorrow. but if you don't hear from me then you know will has been done.

ex-model - please try to control yourself and don't be so pathetic

ex-model - I have personally experienced Jesus Christ who stepped into my life and pulled me up out of and away from certain death I did not imagine the profound change I underwent, The peace that surpasses understanding, You are happy with your life ...

ex-model - And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night, who worship the beast and his image, and whosoever receiveth the mark of his name.

me - what a good night's sleep

me - ps have you ever realized what a great song POPCORN is?

I survived the wrath of god and live to drink beer again.

Jesus Jah Ma

“I have nothing against Christ. It’s your Christians I hate.” This remark has been attributed to Saladin the Arab Jihadist during the Crusades. I feel the same way about most religions except beer-worshippers.

“Every day is Beermas.” My mate Nick declared with the fervor of a suicide beer-drinker. I’m an apostate Catholic. I don’t believe in God, Jesus, or an afterlife and certainly not that Mary was a virgin. That story about the Immaculate Conception was a cover-up for her affair with a mere mortal and it’s about time the church gave up that ghost.

Several years back a newspaper reported that a female convict achieved a virgin birth in solitary confinement.

I don’t remember where.

Thankfully there have been no calls about the 2nd Coming of Jesus, although Christians have been ratcheting up their efforts to convert Thai youth to the passion of God.

Big G wearing a muumuu like Buddha.

Several years ago my friend Ek lost his brother to preachers in Chonburi. Now he’s a Sunday boy. Praying to God. Happy to be saved for the heaven beyond this life and bible-thumpers have established a several footholds down the street from the Buffalo Bar.

Jehovah Witnesses.

I spraypainted 666 on the wall.

The next day the small congregation prayed for the number to disappear by the grace of God.

After 30 minutes they switched to soap and water.

By nightfall the 666 was a shadow.

Only 1% of Thais answer to Christ’s summon. The number is bound to rise with the increased uncertainty of the times. Maybe they’ll get 1.1%. And if Jesus comes they can go to heaven and leave the rest of us behind.

Bon Voyage true believers.