Flee Flee Flee

In 2012 the preacher for Live For God's Kingdom had biblically deciphered the mysteries of the Mayan Apocalypse. Scoot Reeve advised his flock to flee in St. Joseph, Michigan to Jerusalem as a safe refuge for true believers. His sermons of the Last of Days had reinforced the doomsday convictions of my old friend, the ex-model from Paris and she had written me a warning.

"The Beast is a new world order and I think has tied to the International Monetary Fund--which will prevent those faithful to Christ from buying or selling because they will not bow down to this satanic world's demand of receiving its mark of 666 upon their forehead and hand. The love of God in Christ and His Word are eternal."

Normally I responded to her apocalyptical fears with sardonic derision, however the next day a friend had spotted a car caravan of doomsayers in the West Village. The loudspeakers chanting out the date, May 21, 2011, the new and revised End of Times. The religious were chomping at the bit for Armageddon, so their beloved Jesus will transport them into the Rapture. They have no sense of humor, but the beauty of humanity is that we see the funny side of tragedy.

And according to some pundit, here's how the media will report the End.

USA Today: WE'RE DEAD

The Wall Street Journal: DOW JONES PLUMMETS AS WORLD ENDS

National Enquirer: O.J. AND NICOLE, TOGETHER AGAIN

Playboy: GIRLS OF THE APOCALYPSE

Microsoft Systems Journal: APPLE LOSES MARKET SHARE

Victoria's Secret Catalog: OUR FINAL SALE

Sports Illustrated: GAME OVER

Wired: THE LAST NEW THING

Rolling Stone: THE GRATEFUL DEAD REUNION TOUR

Readers Digest: 'BYE

Discover Magazine: HOW WILL THE EXTINCTION OF ALL LIFE AS WE KNOW IT AFFECT THE WAY WE VIEW THE COSMOS?

TV Guide: DEATH AND DAMNATION: NIELSON RATINGS SOAR!

Lady's Home Journal: LOSE 10 LBS BY JUDGMENT DAY WITH OUR NEW "ARMAGEDDON" DIET!

America Online: SYSTEM TEMPORARILY DOWN. TRY CALLING BACK IN 15 MINUTES.

Inc. magazine: TEN WAYS YOU CAN PROFIT FROM THE APOCALYPSE

Bring it on and take all the Bible-Thumpers to wherever they want to go.

The sooner the better.

Just so you know 12/21/2012 passed with the slightest threat of human extinction.

A Good Night's Sleep

In 2008 the ex-model from Paris has been abducted by fundamentalist thought. For her the world was coming to an end. We are living in the End of Days under the Anti-Christ. His name is Barack Obama. Several times a day the great beauty posted warnings of biblical doom

One epistle was the following; several studies have shown that Earth can produce enough food for 30 billion people. That's more than four times the actual population.

Me; it's called solent green

ex-model - NO ITS NOT

me -the population of the world will be 500 million to a billion in 2050

they will not be eating potato chips

ex-model - Armageddon will be way before that.

me - that's why I drink beer now. because there will be none in hell and so what about hell. how bad can it be. worst than kindergarten with bullies

ex-model - Hieronymous Bosch

me - I can walk through that painting without breaking a sweat. you are a good person. this idea of everlasting punishment. you are better than that. come back to the love. abandon the fear.

ex-model - Well, fools do rush in where angels fear to tread.

ex-model - Actually it's not only one painting, but a series of revelations on hell, and if it doesn't make you sweat you are indeed a fool no offense my friend

me - none taken for the fearless

ex-model - Peter please stop with the New age drivel you too are better than that, Hell my friend is where you will go if you choose to willingly ignore that the living God sacrificed His precious son to save you from HELL, point final, I will

Saying with a loud voice, Fear God, and give glory to him; for the hour of his judgment is come: and worship him that made heaven, and earth, and the sea, and the fountains of waters.

me - there is no hell. there is no heaven. and there is no god. I don't have to read a bible to know they these truths are holy. my lack of faith is devout, I've gone down on my knees for the first time in 50 years to pray to your god. I ask him to end my life and send me to hell. I've beseech him to burn my soul. Of you don't hear from me tomorrow. no today. because this is already tomorrow. but if you don't hear from me then you know will has been done.

ex-model - please try to control yourself and don't be so pathetic

ex-model - I have personally experienced Jesus Christ who stepped into my life and pulled me up out of and away from certain death I did not imagine the profound change I underwent, The peace that surpasses understanding, You are happy with your life ...

ex-model - And the smoke of their torment ascendeth up for ever and ever: and they have no rest day nor night, who worship the beast and his image, and whosoever receiveth the mark of his name.

me - what a good night's sleep

me - ps have you ever realized what a great song POPCORN is?

I survived the wrath of god and live to drink beer again.

Cockroach Holocaust

My old house on Moo 9 in Pattaya had all kinds of birds, butterflies, snakes, and insects. My East Village apartment only had mice and cockroaches. The latter badly infested the tenement flat in 1995 like Israelis taking over Palestine. The management sprayed my place and the old Puerto Rican lady's apartment with a deadly concoction. I couldn't move back into 3E for a week afterwards. The effect of the cockroaches was negligible, then one day they vanished completely from sight. Having been told that cockroaches could survive a nuclear bomb, I became concerned as to the causes of their disappearance.

Had they left to regroup before a full-out assault on my apartment?

Or had something more menacing eradicated them from the urban food chain?

I never go the answer to either question and realized some mysteries are better off unsolved.

12 Days And Counting

Biblical creationists judge the age of the Earth to be roughly 6000 years in agreement with adherents of Islam. During the elections Sen. Marco Rubio (R-Fla.) claimed that he had no idea about the age of the Earth, but last week he switched his position of ignorance to the scientific claim that our planet is about that 4.5 billion years old. His admission was deemed to be a conversion to rightful thinking, except I prefer the Buddhist thought that the universe is recreated millions of times every second, which means it ends millions of times every second. Only 12 days separate this existence from the termination of the Mayan Baktun on 12-21-12. Days have only been measured since the coming of Man over a million years ago or roughly 365 million days. The clock is ticking to doomsday. 12 days times 24 hours times 60 minutes times 60 seconds equal 86400 seconds. Live them as if they were your last.