HELP ET HELP

World leaders are increasingly concerned about the collapse of the global economy. No one has an answer to the global dilemma, mostly because the problems multiply every day. I personally have been looking to the sky for our redemption. Not in the form of angels blowing clarion horns, but UFOs piloted by ETs looking to pay retail for everything we have on Earth.

This is a wild dream, since our planet is located on the fringe of the galaxy far from the flow of interstellar traffic, however the universe is changing shape all the time and we can only hope that one day a fleet of entertainment-hungry aliens notice the third rock from the Sun.

Last month this hope was crushed by the sighting of a UFO flaming through the stratosphere over Russia.

Government officials claimed the phenomena was caused by a meteorite.

I know better.

It was a friendly mission from the farthest reaches of the stars. They wanted to buy SUVs at the going rate. McMansions too. Instead their spacecraft struck low-orbit debris and we watched its fall from grace with awe.

Oh, poor ET come to our home.

Near Misses From the Stars

Yesterday a meteor scorched the sky over Russia. Its sonic boom broke windows and flaming contrail brightened the snowy steppes. Its path was recorded by thousands of cell phones and both RT News and the BBC broadcasted various videos of the fiery celestial visitor. Its sonic boom over the Ural city of Chelyabinsk broke thousands of windows and the flurry of broken glass shards wounded hundreds of residents watch the cosmic phenomena.

Chelyabinsk was off-limits throughout the Cold War, since the USSR's top-secret nuclear research were located to the far north of the city and now is Russia's main nuclear-waste management area. Accordingly Chelyabinsk has a well-deserved reputation for secretiveness along with a nasty streak of inhospitality.

The meteor came out of the sun and there was little warning of its approach.

The explosion from the meteor's break-up was estimated to equal twenty Hiroshima blasts.

No one has found the earth-fall of the meteorite.

Similar reports came from San Francisco and Cuba, leading some astrologists to conjecture that these were fragments of a large asteroid passing very close to the Earth.

About 17,150 miles (27,600 kilometers) above the planet's surface.

And that's close.

But a miss is okay with asteroids.

I have no interest in acting as a screaming extra in the remake of Bruce Willis' ARMAGEDDON.

He really does suck as much as Chuck Norris.

ps there were two cars in Iowa in 1903. They had an accident outside of Davenport. Of course that could be a myth, but I remember reading it somewhere.