TIME Man Of The Year 2013

I was baptized a Catholic.

I have been an atheist since the age of 8.

The scandals of Holy Roman Church has reinforced my decision over the years, however I like the new pope.

Francis I was once a nightclub bouncer in Buenos Aires.

I worked that job for over twenty years in New York, Paris, Hamburg, London, and LA.

Francis I is one of us.

I got his back.

He supports the poor.

"Human beings themselves are nowadays considered as consumer goods which can be used and thrown away. We have begun a throw away culture. This tendency is seen on the level of individuals and whole societies; and it is being promoted! In circumstances like these, solidarity, which is the treasure of the poor, is often considered counterproductive, opposed to the logic of finance and the economy. While the income of a minority is increasing exponentially, that of the majority is crumbling."

No pope has spoken like this in my lifetime.

None dared to challenge the rich.

Even the Pirnce of Rome knows the price of questioning the status quo. I know the cost of silence. Pacem in terris. Free the world.

The Red Waltz Of The Cardinals

White smoke issued from the chimney of the Sistine Chapel signaling that the Catholic Church has a new pope, Francis I. Cardinal Jorge Mario Bergoglio was elevated to the Papal throne to replace Benedict XVI who unexpectantly retired from the world earlier in the year. The new Pope is the first from Argentina. He is also a Jesuit and probably took the suname of the founder of the Society of Jesus, Francis Xavier. I was educated by the Jesuits at Boston College. They showed a zeal for bettering the minds of their students. They haven't been mentioned in the widespread scandal of child-abuse rocking the Church. During his time in Buenos Aires, the conservative cardinal opposed abortion and birth control as well as writing about same-sex marriage as follows, "Let's not be naive, we're not talking about a simple political battle; it is a destructive pretension against the plan of God. We are not talking about a mere bill, but rather a machination of the Father of Lies that seeks to confuse and deceive the children of God." So the Church has chosen. Life shall be as life has been for thousands of years. Not like I was expecting a change from Old Time Religion. I remain faithful to atheism. It's the modern way. ps The new pope is 75, meaning the cardinals weren't looking for a pope with longevity. And they found their man.

Ex-Benedict For Brunch

I love Eggs Benedict for Sunday brunch. Even better I would love for the Pope to get arrest tomorrow. His crimes are many and most are against the helpless. FUCK THE CHURCH and have a lovely breakfast with an atheist. We never preach.

Pope Reverend Ike I

The College of Cardinals is gathering in Rome to elect a new pope after Benedict XVI's sudden resignation. The Media has been playing a guessing game about his successor, however the cardinals will most likely vote for a prelate in the present Pope's mold, since he elevated 60% of them to higher ecclesiastical office. The new pope will not be non-European, black, radical, woman or a cleric of a lesser rank than cardinal. The Holy Mother Church does not believe in change. If the Holy See was seeking a metamorphosis, then I would like to see them elect someone like the famed Reverend Ike. “Forget about the pie in the sky, get yours here and now.” Damn, right, Ike. “Everything is a condition of the mind.” Tell it loud. "You can't lose with the stuff I use!" Frederick J. Eikerenkoetter II wasn't shy and no one ever accused him of any wrong-doings. Sadly Reverend Ike passed in 2009, still if I had become a priest like my mother wanted, then I would have worked my way up the ranks to cardinal by now and I would have cast a write-in vote for Rev Ike, who said it was all about the money unlike the Holy Roman Church, for whenever anyone says it ain't about the money, you can bet it was about the money. He was my kind of preacher and I'm an atheist.

Penguins and Dwarves

a joke from the roue of Bangkok, Alan Platt

The 7 Dwarfs go to the Vatican and, because they are the 7 Dwarfs, they are immediately ushered in to see the Pope. Grumpy leads the pack.

'Grumpy, my son,' says the Pope, 'What can I do for you?'

Grumpy asks, 'Excuse me your Excellency, but are there any dwarf nuns in Rome?'

The Pope wrinkles his brow at the odd question, thinks for a moment and answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Rome.

In the background, a few of the dwarfs start giggling.

Grumpy turns around and glares, silencing them.

Grumpy turns back, 'Your Worship, are there any dwarf nuns in all of Europe?'

The Pope, puzzled now, again thinks for a moment and then answers, 'No, Grumpy, there are no dwarf nuns in Europe

This time, all of the other dwarfs burst into laughter.

Once again, Grumpy turns around and silences them with an angry glare.

Grumpy turns back and says, 'Mr. Pope! Are there ANY dwarf nuns anywhere in the world?'

The Pope, really confused by the questions says, 'I'm sorry, my son, there are no dwarf nuns anywhere in the world.'

The other dwarfs collapse into a heap, rolling and laughing, pounding the floor, tears rolling down their cheeks, as they begin chanting......

'Grumpy screwed a penguin!'
'Grumpy screwed a penguin!'