Mistaken Identity 2011

Whenever I mentioned to my friends in the USA or Europe that I was moving to Luxembourg in 2011, they immediately stated, "Luxembourg is the most boring city of Western Europe."

Actually nearby Brussels won the prix d'or d'ennui in most competitions followed tightly by Zurich and Warsaw. Birmingham has supposedly given all three a run for the money with the added detraction as the most unromantic city in the EEU. I've actually had a good time in Bruxelles on several occasions in different decades. I don't know Zurich or Warsaw, but they are not on the top of my 'must see' list or even in the middle and nothing short of $2000 could get me to visit Birmingham, England's Venice of the North.

I can only say that during the last three months in Luxembourg I have not made a single friend from local population. The people are well-mannered to tourists, but they have embraced the Germanic coldness of half their make-up instead of Gallic warmth, so I was happy to meet the new American ambassador. Bob was my age. We shared similar tastes in books and he loved art.

"What are you doing for Thanksgiving?" He asked at the US Chamber of Commerce Turkey Dinner.

"Nothing." I had no plans. Madame l'Ambassador was visiting her oldest daughter in Paris. I was on my own.

"Not any more. You're with us this Thanksgiving."

I thanked him for the invitation and showed up on time with a Paris Guidebook as a gift. His wife and he were planning a trip to the City of Light for the New Year. The guards confiscated my iPad, but allowed me to enter the embassy with my camera and telephone. Bob was waiting at the entrance. His guests were his daughter and her boyfriend, a niece, the Marine contingent, several couples working at the station, and assorted other invitees. The food was a classic holiday offering of turkey and all the fixings.

"Sorry about the paper plates, but I don't feel like washing dishes." Bob apologized before the meal. At least we had real silverware. I ate to my heart's content and drank a little more wine than i would have, if Madame l'Ambassador was present. As a teetotaler her appreciation of a good buzz are limited to the effects of a bar of chocolate.

Bob and I were having a talk about Obama's chances in 2012. Both of us were supporters of the president. He had spoken with 'Barack' earlier in the day. I was duly impressed by his proximity to the POTUS and toasted the president with a plastic cup of California chardonnay.

"You know from the first time I saw you I thought you looked like someone."

"Really?" Not many people have said this, although once at Max's Kansas City two kids from the Student Teachers came up to my table to tell me that they were playing PSYCHOTIC BREAKDOWN, which was a New York Dolls song. They had obviously mistaken me for David Johansson, but that wasn't the case with the US ambassador.

"Has anyone ever said that you look like Al Franken?"

"Al Franken?" Comedian and now senator from Minnesota. I was slightly horrified by the slight. "No."

"You have the same hair and round glasses."

"A full head of hair and glasses." But Al Franken was much older than me. One whole year and totally more successful than me. I was supposed to be an outlaw and Bob thought I resembled a US senator. I took it as a compliment, but when Madame l'Ambassador heard the story upon her return from Paris, she go a good laugh.

More a chortle.

"Al Franken, you."

More laughter and most of it derisive.

It is definitely time to get a haircut.

Who knows who I look like with short hair.

A slightly younger Barney Frank?

Bad Mouthing the Eagle

Benjamin Franklin proposed the turkey for the national bird. The turkey of his era was nothing like the domesticated bird slaughtered for Thanksgiving. The wild turkey was a cunning wood creature living in large communes of fellow avians. Huge flocks of brightly plumed turkeys would cloud the skies andBenjamin Franklin vehemently opposed the choice of the eagle as the national bird.

“I wish that the bald eagle had not been chosen as the representative of our country, he is a bird of bad moral character, he does not get his living honestly, you may have seen him perched on some dead tree, where, too lazy to fish for himself, he watches the labor of the fishing-hawk, and when that diligent bird has at length taken a fish, and is bearing it to its nest for the support of his mate and young ones, the bald eagle pursues him and takes it from him…. Besides he is a rank coward; the little kingbird, not bigger than a sparrow attacks him boldly and drives him out of the district. He is therefore by no means a proper emblem for the brave and honest. . . of America.. . . For a truth, the turkey is in comparison a much more respectable bird, and withal a true original native of America . . . a bird of courage, and would not hesitate to attack a grenadier of the British guards, who should presume to invade his farmyard with a red coat on.” Wonder what Eagle would taste like for Thanksgiving.

LProbably like crow.

Bad Mouthing the Eagle

Back in the 18th Century Benjamin Franklin proposed the turkey for the national bird. The wild turkey of his era was a cunning wood creature living in large communes of fellow avians. Huge flocks of brightly plumed turkeys would cloud the skies. Benjamin Franklin was vehemently against the choice of the eagle as the national bird.

"I wish that the bald eagle had not been chosen as the representative of our country, he is a bird of bad moral character, he does not get his living honestly, you may have seen him perched on some dead tree, where, too lazy to fish for himself, he watches the labor of the fishing-hawk, and when that diligent bird has at length taken a fish, and is bearing it to its nest for the support of his mate and young ones, the bald eagle pursues him and takes it from him. Besides he is a rank coward; the little kingbird, not bigger than a sparrow attacks him boldly and drives him out of the district. He is therefore by no means a proper emblem for the brave and honest. . . of America.. . . For a truth, the turkey is in comparison a much more respectable bird, and withal a true original native of America . . . a bird of courage, and would not hesitate to attack a grenadier of the British guards, who should presume to invade his farmyard with a red coat on."

Nice talk for the national bird.

As for eagle as a meal, I googled cooked eagle and only came up with the following query on answers.com

I was driving the other day and hit a bald eagle that was flying across the street. It was a country road that usually isn't very busy, but I figured I would cook it since I've never had eagle before. Are there any recipes I should know about? Or any spices specifically? I live in Eastern Iowa so you know what may or may not be available to me. I didn't mean to hit it, it was like if a deer ran across the street.

2 years ago

This posting attracted outrage and weirdos.

KILLER: I kill eagles all the time, for fun. Especially since bald eagles don't even exist where I live.

maie: okay i believe you didn't mean to kill it, well you cant help things like that all the time, but they are an endangered species and it is illegal to kill it (on purpose I'm sure they will forgive an accident) and it is also illegal to have possession of it. i would call the local animal control center and see what they would tell you to do cuz if someone says that you have one, or sees it in your trash then you can get arrested. at that point you haven't made a report and you cant prove what happened.

OUTRAGE: It is a Federal Offense to Kill a Bald Eagle, or even HAVE one of its feathers in your possession.

MOR: WITH HOT SAUCE AND POSSUMS! NOM NOM NOM! just cook it like chicken

Otherwise nothing else on the internet.

So I guess eagles don't taste good.

Oh, the poor Turkey