Monday, November 23, 2009

Thai etiquette #1 (wai greeting)


When I was traveling through Tibet, herdswomen greeted strangers by sticking out their tongue. At first I thought it was a come-on, but my guide explained that Tibetans devils don’t have tongues, hence I stuck out my tongue before entering any encampment. If you didn’t respect this custom, then the villagers would stick out their tongues to show that they were not demons. They expected the same offering from strangers.

Everyone greets people differently.

Western traditions include Americans shaking hands, the French kissing cheeks and the English knocking you out with a head butt.


Thais rarely shake hands and if they do it’s a limp-wrist clasp like they fear you’ll snatch away their arm. Instead they prefer the traditional wai. The joined palms are held to the chest and the head is lowered in deference.


The higher the status of the person you are greeting, the higher you hold your hands and the deeper your bow. A revered monk blessing your house deserves the class A wai. Bringing your hands to the bridge of your nose. The over-the-head wai with floor prostration is reserved for the king.


I had a friend from Yala.


She was an elderly woman running a school. Her family was connected to the royals and when we traveled people would instantly drop to the ground. She said, “I like being with you, because it’s hard to talk to people like this.”


I wai authority figures ie doctors, lawyers, and my wife’s father. Never a cop looking for tea money, unless he’s angry. A wai is a perfect gesture for eating crow.


You do not have to wai beggars or girls in short time bars. Kids don’t get wai-ed either. People will think you an idiot if you do or rather more an idiot than they think most farangs are.


A simple nod or a tip will suffice


Exercising good manners can earn good results. I was staying on Tioman Island during the visit of a sultan. After finishing his address to the locals, his highness made his way back to his yacht. the backpackers gawked at his passing. I wai-ed him.


He came over and asked where I was from.


"New York.”


"New York.” he smiled and held my arm. “I went to Studio 54 there.”


"I worked at Studio.” I was doorman for its last month.


"Really. How would you like to have tea on my boat?”


"Love to.” The tea was sweet and the view from the deck sublime.


The reward for obeying etiquette.

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