Sunday, February 7, 2010

Snowmageddon 2010


Meteorologists tracked a winter storm this week. They predicted a snowfall of historic proportions and I readied myself for a John Holmes blizzard of 12 inches or more. Friday evening the arctic jet stream chilled New York. The pressure system was sucking moisture from the Atlantic. I looked out my window Saturday morning expecting a winter wonderland, however the winds had steered the storm south to dump nearly 30 inches on the nation's capitol.

Snow Day for Washington DC.

Global Warming skeptics were on the television, crowing about the frigid conditions and bring up RFK Junior's claim from several years ago that Washington would be a tropic city within our lifetime. Capitol residents and tourists enjoyed a giant snowball fight in Dupont Circle and the President declared that they had survived Snowmageddon. Several other East Coast cities have been shut down by the epic blizzard. Baltimore, Philadelphia, and Atlantic City, but not New York.

The city received a Dairy Queen sprinkling of flurries and conditions down in Miami for today's Superbowl are 68 and sunny. Perfect conditions for the game between the Colts and Saints. No one in America is worried about having no government tomorrow. All eyes are on Florida.

The last great snowstorm to hit Washington was in February 1995.

A GOP-controlled Congress had shut down the Federal government by balking at passing a spending bill. The storm further isolated President Bill Clinton in the White House. He ordered a pizza and a buxom 21 year-old intern delivered the pizza to the Oral Office. The worst thing that happened to America when there was no government was that the President got head and a pizza or did he?

Clinton denied having sex with Monica.

The American public asked, “Isn’t oral sex ’sex?”

“Not according to the President.”

Their presidential affair lasted 18 months, but you can sure that some women saw Hillary’s post-Iowa tears as residue from that awful period in her life. The pain. The betrayal. The humiliation. You fly too close to the sun and you get burned by the sun. Sara Palin understands this adage after his unsuccessful VP campaign of 2008. Her followers have gathered in Nashville this weekend for a Tea Party Congress. Her fee for her talk was $100,000. The cost of the weekend was $400. 600 Teabaggers attended the gathering. Total gross = $240,000. Even paying for their idol there was profit.

A success and the revolution rolled onward while Washington frolicked in the aftermath of Snowmageddon. The wicked just don't give a shit about a MILF. We like our mavericks young.

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